difficult child In Detox...........Bad Day Yesterday


New Member
Hi Family:

Yesterday was so bad. difficult child called me at about 10am. She said something bad happened....she was sexually assaulted. She got high on coke.....alot. She went off with a man she really didn't know.....he drove her to a place out east here and he assaulted her...she fought back....he wouldn't let her out of the car. When it was over, she got dumped out there and had to walk miles before someone gave her $10.00 and a ride to the train........ :tears: :tears: :tears:
I brought her her to my house. She showered, didn't want to report it, and spent a few hours with the baby and then called her sober friend at the sober house. Said friend has heard from her before and says "if she doesn't go into detox now to stop calling her".....detachment.....
She called a detox run by catholic charities that they use and went in last night. I was ok yesterday...today I feel like I'm gonna collapse. :tears: :tears: How do I keep going? Dear God give me strength.
Please pray for difficult child.


saving grace

New Member
Oh Melissa.... :tears: I know you feel right now like this is never going to end and that makes everything seem ten times worse.

Look at the positive, she is in Detox, she getting a chance to get clean and possibly a clear head and she will realize now that her behaviours are getting more and more dangerous. How lucky she is that he let her go. It could have been so much worse Melissa, I know it is an awful thing that happened but it could have been worse. She was let go and she is in detox, look at the positive.

Now... why doesnt she want to report this creep? :warrior:

I am sending you my extra strength that I am not using at the moment. You can and you will get through this, your job is to take care of baby J. Let her do her job and if she wants a better life and to finally get back on track then she will. She has done it before and she can do it again.




Well-Known Member
Melissa, I am so sorry you all have to go through something this awful. I have no advice, just sending gentle hugs.

As horrible as it is, maybe this will be the thing that finally makes her examine her life and decide that she doesn't want to live this way anymore. I will keep you all in my prayers.


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{{{Melissa & difficult child}}}
I'm so sorry. I'm continuing to keep all your family in my prayers. I hope the detox helps difficult child.


New Member
Like the others said, hopefully this will be the one thing that will make her realize how dangerous her choices have become. I hope for both of your sakes, and the baby's that she continues her recovery after detox. Try and convince her to go into something longer term afterwards. To me sometime detox is a waste of time. They keep you for a few days to clear out your system, not nearly long enough, then send you on your way without taking the time to teach you the tools to stay clean. She if she will go from there into a 30 day program. Tell her it's what is best for her and the baby.


New Member
Thanks Guys...she is hoping to return to the program she was in while pregnant. It is a good program and she was clean 10 months while there. I will be in Florida when they release her....hopefully to this sober house.
The good news is she asked me to dump quite a bit of drugs in the toilet for her last night......To me that is some progress. This drug addiction disease is so :censored2: scary....she will kill herself if she continues.....
I'm trying to look at the positive.....that maybe this is her "bottom" but those of you who know my difficult child's history know that she has had many "bottoms" already.
Thank you for the prayers.



Well-Known Member
I so hope this works out for her, for everyones' sake.

So, where does this put you about getting her to sign the consent paper for you to have custody of the baby? Or has she signed them already?


Well-Known Member
Melissa. I'm glad she recognized the need for help. That's a good first step. She's got a thousand more to go. You need to let her take them herself. You have done a great job detaching and letting her hit bottom. As a mother I know how hard that can be. There is hope. My difficult child is living proof. He is one the right track now--for the first time in 4 years. He told me Friday that my actions---or rather my inactions---helped save his life.


New Member

It really saddens me to hear that that happened to your difficult child. I'm very happy to hear that she has made the choice to seek help again. Something occurred to me this morning and I hope my thoughts help you to feel better.

You have a very big blessing where your difficult child is concerned. I know how very much you truly love your girl and how you have and would do most anything for her as long as you feel your not enabling her. She holds a large piece of your heart and always will. I realize that she has been in and out of just about everything there is and she has broken your heart and trust numerous times. Now, she is back in detox and wants to get back on course again. I know this has happened many times before but maybe this will be the time it works for her.

She has blessed you by not giving up on herself. There are so many that do just give up. It gets to hard for them so they just give up and completely give themselves over to the sad side of life. Your difficult child hasn't done that. She still has hope for herself she still keeps trying. What was that someone said? Where there is life there is hope? She knows what she needs to do and it's up to her to do it. Not ever giving up on herself might just be the thing that saves her. Maybe not today but if she doesn't give up on herself there is hope.

I'm so sorry her path brings such sorrow to the ones that love her and she has caused them to have to disengage from her. Maybe she will get tired of the sacrifice and by the time her son is old enough to know whats up she will have realised what really matters the most to her is what has always been there for her from the beginning. Her rock, The Lord and her family.

I will light a candle in her name today and send a prayer for you all. Try to feel better Melissa. She's in a safe place right now.




Well-Known Member
Thank God you did not relinquish the baby to her for even
one evening! Focus on him. She is getting older...SHE is
the one that has to look at herself in the mirror. Hugs.DDD


So sorry. I'll pray that she finally gets it this time. Signing herself in is a good step. Let's remember that this is only the second time she's gone voluntarily as I recall.

And if you want another good coming out of this...if she's clean when you go to court she can never claim she was not competent to sign as she was under the influence. Gives you a better legal position down the road.


Active Member

So very sorry to hear difficult child is doing badly again, but thrilled she admitted there was a problem and signed herself in. That is a huge step.

Sending hugs,


New Member
So glad she admitted she needed help. Hope she can stick it out when she's released. You'll all be in my prayers. It's not an easy road.


Well-Known Member
Said that prayer Melissa.

I know, we just want her to get well, to start to love herself and Live her life. I know.

If we could pry their eyes open to see, we would. Their ears to hear their hearts to know. I know in reality it's the conclusions "they come to know" "they are willing to seek" that will make ALL the difference.

Keep your spirit well, body and mind nourished with the healthy/good and please give sweet grandson a gentle hug from me. My mom always likes to remind me that "Life is for the living" she trys to help me understand that I don't have to let my spirit be diminished based on the state of things I can't control anyway.

"It takes what it takes". I wish I knew what else to offer Melissa.
I care.



New Member

So sorry you are hurting now but like many others, very happy that difficult child signed herself in and rid herself of the drugs she was holding. Praying that all goes well for her and for you. She and baby are so lucky to have you on their side. Stay strong.



New Member
Nope she is not on birth control.....refuses /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif
She hasn't signed the papers yet either, because we really need to serve them on her....I am going to try to get attny to let me bring her in to sign them.
difficult child called and said she expects to go back to sober house where she started out last time. Please God, let this come to pass...... :smile:
She is doing ok...sounds alot better in her attitude and speech. She's just been so lost. :tears:
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and good thoughts. I know "Board" Prayers are very powerful.
You guys are my rock.

Melissa *