The 4th of July visit went well. No outbursts of anger or anything. He enjoyed spending time with the kiddos and was respectful and helpful. A little trouble filtering and a few slipped cuss words but unrelated to us (he accidentally threw away a soda cup that had a coupon on it he wanted, that sort of thing). And he tried to rant about how much pollution fireworks cause but I told him to just shhh and enjoy it. Lol. The next day I met with him and his team, a counselor and case worker. Son shares that he was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. This isn't surprising, but I find it pretty devastating because my brother also had this and I know what it means, and how hard it is to treat. We get to talking about long term plans. My son thought he would be able to stay in the Crisis Recovery Unit until he got into Job Corps (which takes about 30 days) but when it was made clear by the team that the plan was to discharge him before that, he flipped. He yelled profanities and left the room saying he was "outta here". He slammed the door so hard a picture fell off the wall onto the caseworker's head. She wasn't hurt and her and the counselor were completely calm. I, on the other had, was mortified. He went and packed all his stuff and left AMA. The whole episode triggered some PTSD for me. Me and hubby went out for the day to get my mind off things. A couple hours go by and son calls, telling me he had left. (As if I didn't know?) I tell him to go back, that he should not leave treatment and he is making it worse for himself. He agreed and they called me about 2 hours later saying he was checked back in. I didn't hear from him again until yesterday evening. He called to ask if I have a copy of his HS transcripts. I don't. He said that is all he needs for Job Corps. He said it will be about 2-3 weeks before he can get in and he is being discharged Tuesday (this was Friday). He asked if he was stable on his medications and had a safety plan in place, could he possibly come home. OMG, I was not expecting that and it sort of stunned me. Then logic took over my brain (praise God!) and I said, "Son, the last time I saw you, you were violent, slamming a door so hard a picture fell of the wall and hit the caseworker. Did you know that?" He said he didn't. I continued, "I am sorry but the answer is no. I cannot allow you to be here in this house. I have young children and I must make their safety my priority." He said, "Yes, that is why I said if I was stable..." I replied, "But how am I to know you are? What guarantee do I have that won't happen here? You had said you felt amazing on your new medications and you still had a violent outburst. I want nothing more than you to be well and stable, and that will ensure that you can continue to have a good relationship with us. But living here with us, that is not a risk I am ever going to take again. I am sorry, but that answer will always be no." He said ok and I asked him to continue to keep me updated. Friends, that was so so hard, but I know it was the right thing to do and I feel peace about it. I know he needs to remain desperate in order for him to push through the barriers and get help and keep stable. Even if he was stable and non violent, to let him live here could return him to the behavior patterns of apathy and excuses again. And knowing he has Borderline (BPD), I recognize medications can only do so much. There are deep, deep behavior and perception issues that will need to be addressed before his behavior can be expected to be consistently stable. And I know there is a strong possibility it will never be.