difficult child is still on the streets. Supposedly living in a makeshift tent with his "friends" behind the Walmart a few towns over. He has absolutely no plans to get help. He's hoping that the cold will kill him. He told a very good family friend of ours that that's his plan. To let nature take it's course and hopefully he'll die from the elements this winter. This friend has known difficult child from birth and she works with young adults with issues like his and she's really worried about him. She said he was very upbeat and matter of fact about his plan to die. I've tried and tried and tried again to help him find services and get into a shelter. There are a few options available but he refuses. Hangs up on me when I mention it. I have to admit that I'm in full freak out mode. It's cold here. Supposed to get into the low 30's tonight and stay cold for a long time to come. We've never had a winter when difficult child was actually on the streets long term. He was with my dad last winter and in a shelter program the winter before. This is new territory for me and I'm not dealing well with it. I have no idea what to do anymore. Home will never be an option due to safety issues. We don't have the finances to rent him a room or apartment. He refuses to go to a shelter. He can't get social services due to a sanction for non compliance. His mental illnesses continue to spiral out of control. I feel like this is truly rock bottom and it's hopeless at this point. I feel like I'm watching a train wreck in slow motion and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. It's truly heartbreaking. Im scared. I can't sleep. I'm having daily panic attacks. None of my regular tricks are helping this week and I don't see myself being "ok" anytime in the near future. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst bc I know in my heart I need to prepare. Sorry for the rambling post tonight but my brain is jello right now. Just needed to vent a bit.