Difficult Child was getting into so much trouble in Boulder and then Denver (people trying to kill him, he said-could be drug/booze fuelled psychosis) that his dad bought him a ticket to Vegas, where he lives, and then they left the next day to drive to San Diego , where Difficult Child was born. Dad is staying with him for a week and trying to establish him in the system. Extreme and enabling, but neither of us could stand the thought of him freezing in Colorado and he's used up pretty much all of his resources there-either by refusing to use them or preferring to be drunk/high. So, they've been there 6 days. Difficult Child doesn't seem to like it there. He likes some parts, but wouldn't even get out of the car when his dad took him down to a tent community that was like Skid Row. They've been to all sorts of agencies and so far have had no luck. He had a dr appointment to get medications, but the doctor wants to start him on the lowest dose possible and Difficult Child doesn't want that. He made 2 followup appointments and threw the card in the trash on the way out. Can't get SSI, as he doesn't have a permanent street address. Benefits like food stamps only last for 3 months and you have to prove you're looking for a job. Difficult Child doesn't want a job. He doesn't want to be in a program. medications that cost $6 on Colorado Medicaid cost $1,100 in California. He called me to say that he'd originally wanted to go to San Francisco, but his dad dissuaded him, saying it gets cold and wet there. I asked him why he wanted to go there and he said "For obvious reasons". Meaning he wants to whore himself out-he's bisexual, leaning more towards males. I asked if that was how he wanted to earn his money and live his life and he said he's been doing it for about 10 years anyway. I'm at a total loss. I need to be hit over the head with the fact that he doesn't want to work or have any kind of normal life. He really wants his father or I to take care of him, without any effort on his part.I have known this for a while, but it's SO difficult for me to accept that. His ideal life is just getting high and drunk and having other people pay for it. Is that what it sounds like? My therapist told me that EVERYTHING is up to him. She also said that in all her years of therapy, my son is in the top three of the most damaged and dangerous people she has ever come across. I'm at work, just reeling from all this. Last week, when he arrived in Vegas and they were on their way to Cali (I moved back to Illinois and am taking a 2 month trip to Europe next week, because I'm semi retired and I've been to Hell and back) I was so happy and optimistic. Now I feel it was the biggest mistake. by the way, he is pushing all sorts of guilt buttons about me being out of the country during the holidays and his birthday (Dec. 27th) and I'm eating it all up with a fork and spoon. I REALLY need a sea change, because I feel myself going backwards, guiltier, more oppressed by HIS lifestyle, instead of getting on with my own. Nothing more to be done.