Good or at least hopeful news

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by LauraH, Mar 30, 2019.

  1. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    My son was discharged from the detox facility on Thursday and his whole demeanor, behavior, personality and overall attitude seems 150% better. At the time of discharge he was accepted into their 30-day residential rehab pending a bed coming open this coming Tuesday.

    He tried to go back to the sober living home he had been staying at when he had his meltdown a couple of weeks ago that landed him in the psychiatric ward, but they wouldn't take him since he would only be there for a few days before he left again for the rehab. With misgivings my husband and I said he could stay with us for those few days. It hasn't been exactly great but it hasn't been terrible either. Since Thursday he's been to at least one meeting every day (as far as I'm aware) and he told me yesterday that he went into a little Indian-run convenience store for something and saw pipes and paraphernalia for sale, which triggered him. This was a huge trigger; he told me he almost bought a pipe...but then walked out of the store with only the soda he went in for and resisted the overwhelming urge to go use. I was so proud to hear that. Maybe that means that if he resisted this time, it will be just a tiny bit easier to resist the next trigger, and so on.

    He's also been checking in with the rehab every day, and when he called them yesterday they told him a bed was available sooner than anticipated and he could come today! It's located about an hour or so from here and his recovering alcoholic friend that has been so helpful drove him there. He'll also go pick him up at discharge. (But he told my son if he leaves early or gets kicked out he's on his own to get home)

    I can't get too excited with his previous failed rehabs and sober living but once again I'm cautiously optimistic, or as I call it pessimistically optimistic. I'm just praying that this time he'll stick with the program and that the program will stick with him once he's out. I'm also praying that he can get into a recovery home right away or ASAP after discharge.

    It's a little ray of hope in the midst of this huge dark cloud but I can't get my hopes up too much. Just have to see what happens over the next 30 days and immediately after. But it's something.
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 5
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • List
  2. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    It is up to him, if he is ready. You need do nothing at the moment. Rest in a moment's peace. Take care.
  3. Beta

    Beta Active Member

    Laura, I'm rejoicing in the positive things you've experienced with your son and I hope they will continue. As long as he's moving forward, however, imperfectly, that's a good thing.
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Laura - hoping that he's seeing the changes he needs to make. It takes many many false starts.

    Take the good for today and rejoice.
  5. Acacia

    Acacia Active Member


    It's good to hold onto hope while being realistic. Heaven knows many of us here don't get to much to celebrate with our difficult children, so celebrate what you can.

    Relapse and missteps are a part of recovery. My situation is similar to yours, I think. My 33 year old son just finished a residential program and moved into a sober house. I was supportive and cautiously optimistic while he was there. He moved into a sober house this week.

    Unfortunately, I already hear a little edge in his attitude. Keeping my distance and saying prayers. Besides or because of his substance and personality issues, he missed so many development building blocks and doesn't have good life skills. He's really much more like a teenage than an adult.

    It sounds as though your son is gaining some awareness, which is a good thing.
  6. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    He called me this evening. He sounds so clear headed and upbeat. Apparently the rehab program is an extension of the detox he was in a week or so ago. It's a small facility, I think only 16 residential beds and maybe the same amount of detox beds. From what he says it's pretty intense, and the size allows for more individual focused attention on the participants. No idea what if any followup or aftercare plans he's looking at, but he's only one week in so there's time.

    Do I think this is the turning point? Possibly but I also know it could all go south upon discharge. But I do feel more hopeful this time than I have felt about anything else he's done in his battle for sobriety.

    And yes, my son seems to be 30 going on 13. Hopefully it's delayed development and not arrested development and that eventually he will become a mature adult in more than age. I remember his father's mother told me when we were dating that his (the father's) doctor told her he would probably be in his 30s or even 40s before he fully matured, so maybe it's a genetic thing. Only time will tell.