A
AmericanGirl
Guest
I went to get difficult child from the temporary apt. to the sober house. He graduated from rehab today with 99 days clean.
That's the end of the good news. He was rude and belligerent to me for almost 100% of the time. We met with the family therapist this morning. difficult child was so ugly that the therapist told him to go on to group and he would speak with me alone.
Therapist said difficult child was 'transferring' his anger to me. Lots of passive aggressive behavior. We both think difficult child is afraid cause he is moving from a private apartment into a sober house. Lots more oversight. While I can understand that, I am tired of being abused every time he is unhappy.
I do not believe difficult child has done laundry in the last 10 weeks. The apt was filthy. The sober house will do room checks 3 times a day - cannot leave without a 'buddy' for 30 days unless you go to work - required daily meetings and community service. That is exactly what he needs.
I cleaned the apartment because I couldn't do that to the lovely man who allowed us to have it. (difficult child would have no consequences if I didn't such as no deposit back, etc.)
difficult child signed release for sober house to contact me. I explained he had a history of revoking releases but that he had promised me he wouldn't not do so and I promised I would give them the big check I wrote. So...if he wants to play games with me, they know the deal up first.
difficult child has refused to do what he needs to get $200 in monthly food stamps. So, I gave him $100 in cash (plus he gets a small paycheck today) and told him I needed my credit card back. He wasn't happy about that but he must learn to live within HIS means, not MINE. He has a full tank of gas and a month's rent paid for.
Then, I drove 2 hours home while talking to Al-anon buddies and a few girlfriends. I will do what I need to do for me. I will not contact him at all for a while. It is time for him to grow up.
That's my update. Please send me any prayers an good wishes you can spare. Know I am doing the same for all here. I'm absolutely emotionally exhausted. difficult child has court next Tuesday plus the Tuesday after that so I must recharge.
I have one other rather big issue I'll post later because, if any of you have thoughts to share, I really need input. Thanks again...
That's the end of the good news. He was rude and belligerent to me for almost 100% of the time. We met with the family therapist this morning. difficult child was so ugly that the therapist told him to go on to group and he would speak with me alone.
Therapist said difficult child was 'transferring' his anger to me. Lots of passive aggressive behavior. We both think difficult child is afraid cause he is moving from a private apartment into a sober house. Lots more oversight. While I can understand that, I am tired of being abused every time he is unhappy.
I do not believe difficult child has done laundry in the last 10 weeks. The apt was filthy. The sober house will do room checks 3 times a day - cannot leave without a 'buddy' for 30 days unless you go to work - required daily meetings and community service. That is exactly what he needs.
I cleaned the apartment because I couldn't do that to the lovely man who allowed us to have it. (difficult child would have no consequences if I didn't such as no deposit back, etc.)
difficult child signed release for sober house to contact me. I explained he had a history of revoking releases but that he had promised me he wouldn't not do so and I promised I would give them the big check I wrote. So...if he wants to play games with me, they know the deal up first.
difficult child has refused to do what he needs to get $200 in monthly food stamps. So, I gave him $100 in cash (plus he gets a small paycheck today) and told him I needed my credit card back. He wasn't happy about that but he must learn to live within HIS means, not MINE. He has a full tank of gas and a month's rent paid for.
Then, I drove 2 hours home while talking to Al-anon buddies and a few girlfriends. I will do what I need to do for me. I will not contact him at all for a while. It is time for him to grow up.
That's my update. Please send me any prayers an good wishes you can spare. Know I am doing the same for all here. I'm absolutely emotionally exhausted. difficult child has court next Tuesday plus the Tuesday after that so I must recharge.
I have one other rather big issue I'll post later because, if any of you have thoughts to share, I really need input. Thanks again...