B
bran155
Guest
Hello everyone. I thought about all of you as I was watching Timmy and playing the slots!!! I really did think of all of you while I was away on my short escape. You all were with me in spirit!!!! I had an amazing time, I did not want to come home. It was as though I was picked up right out of my life and placed somewhere outside myself, it was wonderful. I didn't really think about my daughter too much. When she did float into my mind I quickly shoved her right out!!! I did not want to leave. The trip was tooooo short!!!
Then I came home.....to my hell once again. The drama started the very next day. My daughter is now missing for a week and 2 days!!! We know she is in a city called Mount Vernon, if any of you know Westchester County NY then you know how horrible of a place Mount Vernon is!!! It is the most dangerous city in my county, it is the HIV capital of the county, gang central and killings almost weekly!!! Terrible place for a young girl with mental illness, that's for sure!!! We got a message from some guy who said nasty horrible things about my daughter. He said we need to come and get her as she is running all over the place, smoking Angel Dust and selling her body in the projects!!!!!! He also said that she looks really bad and smells really bad. He was not calling as a concerned friend, it sounded as though my daughter has been leaching onto him and he is sick of her. I called the Mount Vernon PD and gave them the number that this guy called from. He told the cop that he had seen her 30 minutes prior and she was in some park, so the cops went to look for her. I called them back and they said they didn't see anyone who fit her description. I have since been trying to call this guy and now he wont answer. Of course, now that he knows the cops are involved he no longer wants to communicate with us. I am a complete mess. I can't sleep, I have been having nightmares about my daughter prostituting herself. I cannot believe things are this bad, I never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought she would be this out there. I am a ball of nerves, my stomach aches, my knees are weak and I shake all the time. The worry is suffocating. I am sick to my stomach, literally!!! She is killing herself slowly and killing me slowly as well. I feel as though I will soon be attending my baby girl's funeral. She is going to catch AIDS if she already hasn't. She knows better. I know this is part of her illness, but it is just so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that she is out living like a street kid. I mean she is living on the streets as if she has it so bad here, like she is the one being abused!!! I can't understand why she would rather be on the streets then come home and get the help she needs. It is absolutely freezing here, it is 29 degrees right now. She only has a small jacket on. What is she eating? Where is she sleeping? She is probably prostituting for food and a place to stay. OH MY GOD, I can't believe I am talking about MY daughter!!! How could this have happened? She comes from a nice home and good family, how did she end up like this????????? What am I going to do? How can I live through this? I mean she will be 18 in 2 months so this is what I have to get used to as she, no doubt, will be living this way then!!! How can I function when my baby girl is living the life of a street kid, on drugs and selling her body? She is going to end up DEAD!!!!! Oh God, this is hell, I am living in hell. This hurts more than words can describe. The pain is constant, it never goes away. I am just a nervous wreck all of the time. Her court date is coming up in 3 days, on Thursday, if she does not come home there will be a bench warrant out for her and she will end up back in jail with $10,000 bail!!! If she comes home within the 3 days she will only end up in Juvie!!!! Oh, this kid is killing me!!!
If someone would have told me how much having kids hurts I wouldn't have had any!!!!!!
Thanks for listening. Oh and thanks for the advice on my other thread. I don't know if you read my last response: Marg, thanks for the pie chart idea. Susie, I put my problems in that baggie and tucked them away in the fridge, of course now that I am home they are tucked back in my heart!! Rot, thanks for the myspace idea, my sister did exactly what you said on Friday, no response as of yet. Steely, I left you a little message, I feel that you and I are so simliar and I am so sorry you are suffering in some of the same ways that I am. You are in my thoughts.
Thanks my friends,
Shawna
Then I came home.....to my hell once again. The drama started the very next day. My daughter is now missing for a week and 2 days!!! We know she is in a city called Mount Vernon, if any of you know Westchester County NY then you know how horrible of a place Mount Vernon is!!! It is the most dangerous city in my county, it is the HIV capital of the county, gang central and killings almost weekly!!! Terrible place for a young girl with mental illness, that's for sure!!! We got a message from some guy who said nasty horrible things about my daughter. He said we need to come and get her as she is running all over the place, smoking Angel Dust and selling her body in the projects!!!!!! He also said that she looks really bad and smells really bad. He was not calling as a concerned friend, it sounded as though my daughter has been leaching onto him and he is sick of her. I called the Mount Vernon PD and gave them the number that this guy called from. He told the cop that he had seen her 30 minutes prior and she was in some park, so the cops went to look for her. I called them back and they said they didn't see anyone who fit her description. I have since been trying to call this guy and now he wont answer. Of course, now that he knows the cops are involved he no longer wants to communicate with us. I am a complete mess. I can't sleep, I have been having nightmares about my daughter prostituting herself. I cannot believe things are this bad, I never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought she would be this out there. I am a ball of nerves, my stomach aches, my knees are weak and I shake all the time. The worry is suffocating. I am sick to my stomach, literally!!! She is killing herself slowly and killing me slowly as well. I feel as though I will soon be attending my baby girl's funeral. She is going to catch AIDS if she already hasn't. She knows better. I know this is part of her illness, but it is just so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that she is out living like a street kid. I mean she is living on the streets as if she has it so bad here, like she is the one being abused!!! I can't understand why she would rather be on the streets then come home and get the help she needs. It is absolutely freezing here, it is 29 degrees right now. She only has a small jacket on. What is she eating? Where is she sleeping? She is probably prostituting for food and a place to stay. OH MY GOD, I can't believe I am talking about MY daughter!!! How could this have happened? She comes from a nice home and good family, how did she end up like this????????? What am I going to do? How can I live through this? I mean she will be 18 in 2 months so this is what I have to get used to as she, no doubt, will be living this way then!!! How can I function when my baby girl is living the life of a street kid, on drugs and selling her body? She is going to end up DEAD!!!!! Oh God, this is hell, I am living in hell. This hurts more than words can describe. The pain is constant, it never goes away. I am just a nervous wreck all of the time. Her court date is coming up in 3 days, on Thursday, if she does not come home there will be a bench warrant out for her and she will end up back in jail with $10,000 bail!!! If she comes home within the 3 days she will only end up in Juvie!!!! Oh, this kid is killing me!!!
If someone would have told me how much having kids hurts I wouldn't have had any!!!!!!
Thanks for listening. Oh and thanks for the advice on my other thread. I don't know if you read my last response: Marg, thanks for the pie chart idea. Susie, I put my problems in that baggie and tucked them away in the fridge, of course now that I am home they are tucked back in my heart!! Rot, thanks for the myspace idea, my sister did exactly what you said on Friday, no response as of yet. Steely, I left you a little message, I feel that you and I are so simliar and I am so sorry you are suffering in some of the same ways that I am. You are in my thoughts.
Thanks my friends,
Shawna