I've spoken through the years about my mother. She is bipolar. I spent my childhood in and out (mostly IN) of foster care. Ran the gauntlet of over 20 homes. Umpteen schools, social workers, family court judges, therapists (who tried to help me cope with her illness rather than helping her cope with her illness to function more normally). As a adult I've become the go to person when she needs hospitalization. Begging police, hospital etc to place her for her safety. My family has been done with her for many many years. No contact. My brother and I are it for her. My children haven't seen her in years, we can drive to her house in 10 minutes or walk in an hour. I've seen her 2 years in a row for a thanksgiving dinner at my brothers house. I can't visit my brother (a grown difficult child himself) as he lives 8 doors away from my mother and I don't want to run into her. I have become the person my mother can abuse and torment and drive absolutly insane, and it is just a continuation of my childhood where she did the same. It doesn't end. No clue what my difficult child (easy child now perhaps?? at least he's a typical teen now) might have/had wrong with him. He's functioning well now, maturity helped him it seems. But for years he had major bipolar type behaviours and was much like my mother in terms of how he treated me (and the world). My brother is a nearing 40 year old difficult child. He can be truly hideous most times. His saving grace is that at times he can truly be stellar, and just when I've lost ability to put up with him, he sort of pulls his act together with me and we salvage some type of relationship. Mind you, we see each other a few times a year in spite of living so near to each other. We live seperate lives. With the drama with psycho neighbour who attacked my S/O, i found myself embroiled under the umbrella of yet another persons mental illness taking a serious toll on my world. I spent years distancing from my mother and brother, a not so easy task. I did so for my own sanity, I couldnt' take it anymore, the way they behaved, their impact on others with no regard etc. I realized this past month since psycho neighbours attack, that I'm very much going to have to get a grip on coping with the fact that mentally ill people may/will cross my path again, wether family or otherwise. I have always prided myself on my ability to empathize and understand how hard it must be for a mentally ill person to live with their actions and behavious, consequences of them such as loss of quality of life, jobs, spouses, family, friends, what we call "normal" living. BUT .... I find no longer do I have that empathy. I just want people who are ill to stay the heck off my radar. Period. I literally have broken into hives at one point recently. After years of no anxiety attacks, they are back. Thankfully nothing like the period in my life where they were horrid, but enough that they are affecting my day and worse, my sleep. I am just no longer dealing with stressful things period. I know that being impacted by so many unstable people is the root cause, however I'm losing ability to cope calmly or want to deal at all, with stressful situations. Where before I'd just vent it out, move on and cope with a situation, now I go through the same motions but find myself anxiety ridden and trying to hide it. I was feeling like I had no personal strength anymore, and then I realized I have just overflowed my cup. Life has overflowed my cup. I truly feel we have a finite amount of crappola that we can properly cope with in our lives and for us who have had a life chalk full from so early an age, by this stage in our lives, our cup be full! Does anyone know what I mean? I just literally want to live a quiet existance. No drama. No crappola. Not from those I love. Not in a job. Not with neighbours. Not even reading about certain things in the news. I want to have my few select healthy and good for me friends and family members. My kidlets. My S/O. Our pets. Bills paid. Some luxeries. A house somewhere somewhat secluded. Make calls to people I want to speak to and ignore the rest. I dread even the phone ringing. Usually its my mother or brother or S/O's wingnutty sister with drama drama drama that we don't want in our lives, and I simply can't tolerate or handle anymore. I guess I"m becoming a hermit. Not a shut in. We go out and enjoy our private lives, see people (those we want to see) etc. But I really just want the uglies of the world to back the heck off and stay gone from my life seeing as I can't handle them, even to a small degree anymore. Hope that all makes sense!