Have you had your Difficult Child arrested.

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
The heaviest cross I bear with guilt is that we had our Difficult Child arrested. This was after 4 years of struggling with him and his drug use. From not making a big deal and hoping it would pass to smashing bongs and chasing groups of pot smoking idiots out of our home. We did not do it without fair warning. He was caught selling drugs from our home. He ran and 2 weeks later begged to come home. Once home with a living at home contract in place, 3 days in he had drugs (was still selling). We called the police. He is now facing 2 Charges of possession. He wants a lawyer to fight charges and I say not a hope in hell am I paying for a lawyer for you. He will not qualify for legal aid and as a youth, he has access to Duty counsel and the courts may well appoint him a lawyer free of charge. It some times really cuts me up that we did this. But we didn't have much choice.
 

ForeverSpring

Well-Known Member
I called the cops on my daughter at 15 for drugs. She got probation. I wanted her to know we were serious about no illegal stuff in our house and hoped it would scare her. I also wanted to nail her dealer who was 35!

It didnt stop her, but she was careful about bringing anything to the house after that. I did not feel guilty at all.i was morevworried about her...no time for guilt to mix in. I really believed she could die.
 

wisernow

wisernow
Yes we had our son arrested for his violent behavior in the home. We also had him removed from the home. It was extremely difficult for me but things could not continue as they were. we had ourselves and another child to look after. He went into mental health diversion and finally as a result got some of the assistance he so desperately needed like a court appointed psychiatrist. In this country you can wait months to see one. Most parents don't have to go through things like getting your child arrested, or having him removed from the home. Probably the most painful thing I have ever done and at times it haunts me. But I knew it had to happen.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
I am glad we are not alone in this. We have feeling of guilt as well but know it was either have him arrested or put him out on his own. We are still locked in a battle of wills. Slowly things improve. We gave him a new family contract and discussion was lenghy last evening that this is his last shot at remaining in the family home. He tried to manipulate us in to agreeing to allow him to smoke joints. He said he had given everything else up including poppers (keep in mind I found plastic water bottles made into bongs just last week so I don't believe him). Our house our rules no drugs not even pot and follow the rules and respect the privilege of being card for or leave. He will be 18 in Oct so not really worried about making him leave.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
We had our son arrested for stealing our car.

He was not insured on it and our insurance guy told husband that if he took car and we did not report it stolen and he got into accident, caused property damage, hurt someone that WE were responsible. He was a liability to us.

We had him arrested when he returned with the car. I don't think the police officers wanted to arrest him but we had had enough at that point and wanted to show him we were done letting him terrorize us. That's really what it amounted to. When he was using he did as he pleased and did not care about anything.

I'm glad we did it. He was VERY surprised that we did it. I was hopeful for change.

Did it stop his crap? No. Only not allowing him to come home has helped but he's not out of the woods yet. At least his poor choices do NOT affect me like they used to and I've been working on detaching so I can stay sane.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Son has declared he has given everything but cigarettes up. Given the amount of time he was doing poppers and other drugs; and finding weed on him last Wed ....I have my doubts. My husband will be the one managing this from here on in. I put no drug not prescribed to you or any illegal substance not even seeds are allowed in my home. He said seeds are not illegal that was his only comment before he signed the agreement.
 

ForeverSpring

Well-Known Member
My daughter made this declaration many times and it wasnt true. Let his actions guide you. Words are cheap. He doesnt want to leave the comfort of his home...that is probably why he said it.

We banned cigarettes from our house too. You dont have to. Many are glad if the kid is just smoking. I dont want anyone smoking around me or in my space or ruining their health so that was banned too and we threw out any cigarettes we found in her purse or room thaT she claimed she was "holding for someone else." Always it was for somebody else. I told her no cigarettes of anyones in my house. Sorrrrry.

She has not had a cigarette in twelve years on top of no more meth and cocaine. I was always very soft on my kids. I never spanked or grounded them and all of them tell me I should have been stricter...that I was "too nice." But when it came to illegal stuff and health issues, I could be very strict. My daughter needed it. She turned around big time.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Given the fact that he has been doing poppers for so many years (by his own claim), he is highly addicted to nicotine. He is not allowed to smoke in the house at all. He hates that he is addicted. We tried patches and he is not ready for them yet. I have told him to reduce the number of cigarettes he smokes in a day then reduce the potency of the cigarette he smokes and then try the patches again. Surprisingly he has listened. I think was off poppers for a while and went back to them. I know he had a scare and he said he was having trouble breathing. I sent him information on lung damage and poppers. He was angry I sent it. I think he is scared of the damage he has done.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
if anyone has never had their kid doing poppers it's horrible they hack and cough up large amounts of awful phlegm all the time. They don't eat much. They develop stomach problems and vomit as well at times. How much fun is that?!
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
What are poppers?

My son abused medication that WAS prescribed to him too by the way...
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
We called the police on Belle when she stole Pat's Concerta... They declined to do anything. However, when she attacked me for the third time, I had her arrested. Bill would have let it go, but she really, really needed it. No, it didn't help at first - she was so sweet and innocent looking and I was the evil stepmother. Until she got herself into HUGE trouble, and spent time in prison. She's changed. A LOT.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
What are poppers?

My son abused medication that WAS prescribed to him too by the way...
Here is a link to Pot Poppses. There is a whole group of young people that will be experiencing Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) and Lung Cancer in their early 30s instead of 50-70. Sorry Northern Ontario, but Poppers Are the Grossest Way to Smoke Weed

As a health care professional myself this is really scary stuff. And they get so addicted to nicotine there is very little chance they will be able to ever kick the smoking habit. Most of them start smoking to help stop dong poppers. A lot of kids do then as blanks no pot just tobacco.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Here is a link to Pot Poppses. There is a whole group of young people that will be experiencing Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)) and Lung Cancer in their early 30s instead of 50-70. Sorry Northern Ontario, but Poppers Are the Grossest Way to Smoke Weed

As a health care professional myself this is really scary stuff. And they get so addicted to nicotine there is very little chance they will be able to ever kick the smoking habit. Most of them start smoking to help stop dong poppers. A lot of kids do then as blanks no pot just tobacco.

Ugh. Lovely. I've never seen evidence of my son doing this. Could he have missed a way to get weed into his body? Shocker.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Count your blessing. I can't tell you how much it hurts to hear my son ha king and coughing as if he had pneumonia. This is also why he bailed on all his sports activities and physical fitness at school. What ever he did last week scared him and I hope and pray it scared him enough.
 
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