Hey my lovely friends,
As some of you know, my brother offered my daughter to live with him last week. I guess my daughter accepted and is sent to move in on Wed (2 days from now) on her day off so she has time to move and everything. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
My brother has severe anger problems (gee, wonder where my daughter gets it from). He is an a**hole to everybody, including me. This is how much I love my daughter, I never cut him out of my life for her sake. Even though he is a rotten little sob, we didn't have a lot to choose from. He is my younger brother and the only sibling I have. Even though we have our problems with each other, he loves my daughter and treats her good. The only problem I had with him concerning her is that he never spent a lot of time with her.
Anyway, back to the issue, my brother treats me like dirt and has caused severe depression with in the last five years. I wish I could say it didnt hurt me or bother me but it really has, deeply. His girlfriend has treated me just as badly and right now we are not speaking to each other. So now with my daughter going over there, it's causing a lot of term oil with in me. Whenever she is with them, she treats me so different. The change is so drastic, that it actually traumatizes me. I know it's because of my brothers negative opinions about me and even though he doesn't express it to her, it doesn't take a psychic to see it. I know my daughter feels that she has to take this attitude against me in order to feel accepted by our family. She has even said so one time before and it cut me deep. This is our toxic family dynamics.
But on the other hand, I know it has to happen for my own safety. When my daughter flies into a rage against me, I fear for my safety....my life..... and I fear she will hurt herself again. There is no doubt in my mind. It's happened a couple of times already since she has been out of the hospital. Going to my brothers is the only decent option she has.
What I am worried about the most is, that after a few weeks, she's going to call me and beg to come home because she doesn't like it there. My brother has a few kids and they love my daughter a lot, but they also drive her up a wall. My fear is, she is going to call me and beg me to come home and that will cause a disaster between her and my brother. He will be so angry at her if she did that and then he will unleash his anger onto me, and then the whole situation will erupt with her having to move out. And with all the term oil of my feelings towards my brother, I am afraid it will send me into a nervous breakdown.
The only possible way to avoid this is if my daughter didn't move right now, but instead moved in to my brothers two weeks before I had to move. Being in this place for another month may give her the idea that she could come back and that I will change my mind about moving.
So while I feel relieved , like yes, she is moving and hoping for the best for her and myself, I can see what possibly awaits.
This situation is so impossible, it's laughable.
As some of you know, my brother offered my daughter to live with him last week. I guess my daughter accepted and is sent to move in on Wed (2 days from now) on her day off so she has time to move and everything. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time.
My brother has severe anger problems (gee, wonder where my daughter gets it from). He is an a**hole to everybody, including me. This is how much I love my daughter, I never cut him out of my life for her sake. Even though he is a rotten little sob, we didn't have a lot to choose from. He is my younger brother and the only sibling I have. Even though we have our problems with each other, he loves my daughter and treats her good. The only problem I had with him concerning her is that he never spent a lot of time with her.
Anyway, back to the issue, my brother treats me like dirt and has caused severe depression with in the last five years. I wish I could say it didnt hurt me or bother me but it really has, deeply. His girlfriend has treated me just as badly and right now we are not speaking to each other. So now with my daughter going over there, it's causing a lot of term oil with in me. Whenever she is with them, she treats me so different. The change is so drastic, that it actually traumatizes me. I know it's because of my brothers negative opinions about me and even though he doesn't express it to her, it doesn't take a psychic to see it. I know my daughter feels that she has to take this attitude against me in order to feel accepted by our family. She has even said so one time before and it cut me deep. This is our toxic family dynamics.
But on the other hand, I know it has to happen for my own safety. When my daughter flies into a rage against me, I fear for my safety....my life..... and I fear she will hurt herself again. There is no doubt in my mind. It's happened a couple of times already since she has been out of the hospital. Going to my brothers is the only decent option she has.
What I am worried about the most is, that after a few weeks, she's going to call me and beg to come home because she doesn't like it there. My brother has a few kids and they love my daughter a lot, but they also drive her up a wall. My fear is, she is going to call me and beg me to come home and that will cause a disaster between her and my brother. He will be so angry at her if she did that and then he will unleash his anger onto me, and then the whole situation will erupt with her having to move out. And with all the term oil of my feelings towards my brother, I am afraid it will send me into a nervous breakdown.
The only possible way to avoid this is if my daughter didn't move right now, but instead moved in to my brothers two weeks before I had to move. Being in this place for another month may give her the idea that she could come back and that I will change my mind about moving.
So while I feel relieved , like yes, she is moving and hoping for the best for her and myself, I can see what possibly awaits.
This situation is so impossible, it's laughable.