Witz, "emo" is first a kind of music, and second, a fashion style/way of thinking among those who like that kind of music.
Here is a useful link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo
And here is what the kids are teasing him for (from the above link):
"In recent years the popular media has associated emo with a stereotype that includes being emotional, sensitive, shy, introverted, or angsty. It is also associated with depression, self-injury, and suicide."
Although I realise that antidepressants can aggravate anxiety & depression (paradoxic reaction) I see kids as far more than a blob of protoplasm to be treated by adapting medication titration.
Think - why do we medicate our kids at all? Why do we even have this website? It is because, first and foremost, our kids have problems that go above and beyond the average. And why is this? Many reasons, all combining endogenous and exogenous causes. Some of our kids have problems which respond to medication; some of our kids have emotional problems either as a primary cause or as a secondary cause. But above all - even if your child has a problem which can be entirely laid at the door of chemical imbalance, the problem has now gone beyond merely modifying the brain chemicals with medication, because social factors and environment are now involved.
difficult children are often much more unhappy that "normal" kids. It's harder for a difficult child to be the model student, to be the popular student, to be the kid always chosen to get up on the podium and welcome the latest dignitary to the school. Our kids don't fit in. And this hurts. Inside, they'd love to be able to do this sort of thing, to be the jock, or the brain who is also popular, to be the good-looking person pined after by all the attractive kids.
But generally, our kids are not the popular ones, the good-looking ones, the socially adept ones, the academically brilliant ones.
Under such circumstances, depression is almost inevitable. In fact, a difficult child who doesn't have depression at some level is not only the exception, he's probably lying.
If there is a medication factor in there making it worse - crikey, not good. But merely adjusting medications is not likely to be the whole answer.
difficult child 1 & easy child 2/difficult child 2 have both been serious cutters. I'm not sure, easy child may have also been cutting, but if she did it wasn't much and it wasn't for long. Her best friend WAS a cutter, but otherwise was not a difficult child. She was simply a very unhappy girl with a difficult home life and desperately needing either one of her parents to pay enough attention to her to get her some help. She was stressed, mostly by a difficult home life, and not always coping well.
There can be many reasons for a kid to be stressed. Home life can be a factor. Struggling at school is a common problem. Social problems - a biggie, especially with difficult children.
I probably did the wrong thing with my cutters. As I couldn't get any admission out of them, I ignored it. I tried to get help from their specialist, but especially with easy child 2/difficult child 2, she refused to acknowledge she had a problem. At least with difficult child 1, he admitted to being depressed. His first girlfriend broke up with him and he was suicidally depressed for two years. She was a lovely girl, but he just wasn't socially mature enough to sustain the relationship as they got older. He accepts this now, but couldn't at the time. And not only would he cut his arm, but he would carve words and symbols into himself.
difficult child 1 had already been taking Zoloft to try to reduce his anxiety. It had seemed to be helping a bit, but when he was suicidal I got him to the specialist who doubled the dose of Zoloft. I know it is a concern in some cases of suicidal ideation, but it helped difficult child 1.
As his mood improved, the doctor reduced the dose. Since then we've tried to cut difficult child 1's Zoloft out entirely but he finds his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) coming back big-time if he cuts back past a certain point.
Although I've known two people in the last 12-18 months who suicided soon after being put on Zoloft, and I know the concerns and frankly share them, I've also seen how much help it's been for difficult child 1.
High school is a horrible time for a difficult child. It's bad enough for the average teen, but a kid who struggles and still can't cope, it's awful. Some kids cut because they feel so absolutely dreadful inside, they can't understand why it doesn't show. Sometimes they feel numb, and want to see some outward sign so they know they are still capable of feeling. When they see blood flowing, then they know that feeling pain is appropriate.
He needs help. He needs to know it's OK to ask for help.
I'm surprised the other kids knew about it - my kids kept it secret. Maybe other kids knowing is actually a good sign. it certainly makes it easier for you to say, "I know about this, I am concerned for you, I am getting you help."
I suspect in his own way he would be relieved if you did this, because he's desperate for ways to cope. Cutting is a coping strategy. It's not a good one, but these kids cut, to try to help themselves cope.
In the meantime - two things he can do, as an alternative to cutting.
1) Have an elastic band round his wrist. Not too tight, you don't want circulation cut off. But he needs to be able to pull back on the band and flick his arm with it, hard. It will cause a raised red welt and it will hurt. Next time he wants to cut, get him to flick the elastic band instead.
2) To put a message there if he feels a need - draw on himself with a RED felt pen. The red gives a visual cue like blood, but without the tissue damage. The pen gives some artistic control, it's easier to control than a knife.
easy child 2/difficult child 2 especially, has permanent scars on her arms. A couple which healed badly are raised and thick. Others are paler, and criss-cross her inner forearm. She will be able to show them to her grandchildren. These will never fade. But she no longer hides them, and the wedding dress she has chosen has no sleeves. I consider this a healthy sign.
The methods I've mentioned will work best if he really wants help, if he really wants to stop cutting. but if he's enjoying the drama too much, he won't be ready. I don't think that's happening here, if you were able to know about this.
I hope he's ready to change, to move on to a better way of coping than cutting. He needs to know he's not a loser, not a failure - the emo culture seems wrapped up in self-absorption and this sense of being one of the anonymous crowd of failures and he needs to know he can be a huge success. he just has to want it.
A sense of direction for his future can also help - if he knows what he wants to do when he leaves school, and if he can see progress towards this aim, then this might also help.
Marg