He has to leave


New Member
Hi-I am brand new to this type of group, not even sure how to post-I started a new thread. I have 4 children and my oldest is nearly 19. I have witnessed a complete 180 over the past year. I can tell that many of you can certainly relate. He abuses drugs, sells them, and is often involved with awful people, doing awful things. He has health issues-congenital heart disease & a more recent liver disorder that no Dr or specialist has diagnosed or treated which caused him to loose over 70lbs &, I believe, has been a contributing factor in the other changes. I have 3 children that are younger; I do not want them to see him when he is using, I do not want the disruption to my house, I no longer trust him or anyone he associates with so he has made my home feel dangerous when he is near. Of all 4 kids he occupies more time & energy than the other 3, combined. He has not hit rock bottom for me to be able to demand inpatient treatment. After this past week I realize he must not live with me. There are still plenty of people who will enable him. I am scared, I feel helpless, I feel like I have failed, in epic size proportion.


Well-Known Member
You haven't failed. And you just took a giant leap in the right direction.

I am having similar discussions about my 19yo female. Just told her today that living with us meant following our house rules. The rule she can't live with? Coming home at 10pm Sun to Thursday. F/S she could spend the night where ever with who ever. Told her if she got a job and started working, things could be renegotiated. Guess she's moving, because she can't live like that! A nice home, food, rides...but get a minimum wage fast food job!! OMG! How terrible are we??

Hang in there...you've got other children to think about!



Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Welcome 4M
Please know first you have failed no one. You did not chase this, you can not control it nor can you Cure it.

It is time to consider detaching with love. Especially to protect yourself and your over children.

Their bottom is far different from ours. I said my sons bottom has a basement and he seems to like to dwell there.

Be good to yourself. Look into a local Naranon group or private therapy to help you deal with this difficult situation.

You are not alone.