Stella Johnson
Active Member
Honey, you have to stop thinking of that house as your home. You have a new home that isn't tainted. It's a fresh start.
I know it's hard after so many years together. I know it hurts to know he is already dating. Trust me, he isn't happy even if he pretends to be. He's trying to convince himself. This will all go down in flames eventually when she figures out what he is all about. He's good at playing the victim. It only goes so far.
My ex was the same way. We had a more explosive marriage so it was easier for me to walk away. I took what fit in my car, my kid, and I left. Never looked back.
I know you want your daughter to hate her. Please don't put her in the middle of this. I know you aren't trashing him to her but I'm sure your interest and hurt is coming through when you talk about his new "life". It's only going to hurt her more in the long run. She probably is uncomfortable right now being around the new girlfriend. I know I was when my parents first divorced. After a while I knew wht the women were and it wasn't something you would take home to meet mommy dearest. :slap: Trust me, your daughter will figure this out too on her own.
He is probably doing most of this to get to you. That's why he was so shocked you wanted to go through with the divorce.
Don't latch onto every story you hear about him. Stop letting your best friend tell you stories about him. It's only hurting you more. It keeps you up in a tizzy and spending energy on something that you need to get away from. Find new hobbies. Something that makes you happy. I started painting again after my divorce.
What makes you happy? Whatever it is, start doing it.
If you want your dog, find a way to get him to live with you even if that means moving. I know I couldn't let go of my dog babies either. It is only drawing you into the house more. You need to stop thinking of that house as any more than a piece of property you will be making money from soon.
(((hugs)))
Steph
I know it's hard after so many years together. I know it hurts to know he is already dating. Trust me, he isn't happy even if he pretends to be. He's trying to convince himself. This will all go down in flames eventually when she figures out what he is all about. He's good at playing the victim. It only goes so far.
My ex was the same way. We had a more explosive marriage so it was easier for me to walk away. I took what fit in my car, my kid, and I left. Never looked back.
I know you want your daughter to hate her. Please don't put her in the middle of this. I know you aren't trashing him to her but I'm sure your interest and hurt is coming through when you talk about his new "life". It's only going to hurt her more in the long run. She probably is uncomfortable right now being around the new girlfriend. I know I was when my parents first divorced. After a while I knew wht the women were and it wasn't something you would take home to meet mommy dearest. :slap: Trust me, your daughter will figure this out too on her own.
He is probably doing most of this to get to you. That's why he was so shocked you wanted to go through with the divorce.
Don't latch onto every story you hear about him. Stop letting your best friend tell you stories about him. It's only hurting you more. It keeps you up in a tizzy and spending energy on something that you need to get away from. Find new hobbies. Something that makes you happy. I started painting again after my divorce.
What makes you happy? Whatever it is, start doing it.
If you want your dog, find a way to get him to live with you even if that means moving. I know I couldn't let go of my dog babies either. It is only drawing you into the house more. You need to stop thinking of that house as any more than a piece of property you will be making money from soon.
(((hugs)))
Steph