I'm not really needing any advice here, but just sharing an observation. Maybe some of you can relate? My older difficult son, age 31, is now out of rehab, working part time, and living with his wife and kids. He had told us it's the first time he's been clean in over 6 years (from heroin). This is all good news, of course. But his sobriety didn't really change the fact that he's a terrible communicator, and still something of a jerk! He's not outwardly aggressive or mean, but is subtly manipulative and a bit entitled. On Mother's Day, I had heard from all my kids except him. So about 5 p.m., I called to see if he and wife and kids were still coming over for dinner so I'd know how much food to buy (don't worry, I didn't cook). He was out working, and said they were all coming over soon, and by the way, Happy Mother's Day. Then at dinner, my younger son, who has a history of trouble with this brother, left the table and went to his room right after we had eaten. He later told me that he left to avoid getting into a fight with his brother. At the table, his little nephew (older son's child) had said, "Uncle, when are you going to give us back the computer that you stole from Daddy?" Younger son had taken the computer as "payback" for the guitar and viola that older son had stolen from him and pawned. My daughter had originally given the older son the computer, but told younger son he could have it instead after all the theft happened. Older son had even agreed that it was OK with him after he admitted to stealing from his brother. Anyway, younger son was angry at being called a thief by his nephew (presumably coached by older son). He texted his brother asking if he was going to contribute to buying the food for dinner. Older son replied, "No, and I see you're still sponging off the parents." This is ironic, since he (older son) had been sponging off us for quite some time himself until he went to rehab. Younger son spouted off with, "And I see you're still doing the bare minimum and not providing for your wife and kids." He told me he cut off the conversation after that because he didn't want to get into a scene on Mother's Day. So, some of the difficult behaviors survive, alas. At least there wasn't a fistfight.