Heed Our Inner Warnings -- Murder

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by HeadlightsMom, Sep 23, 2014.

  1. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    IMPORTANT REMINDER..... HEED OUR INNER WARNINGS (even if we don't know why in the moment).....

    Last week I picked our difficult child up in a seedy part of town to take him to rehab. He was at the house of someone who I know is troubled. difficult child asked me repeatedly to come in and say "Hello". I declined half-dozen times, but eventually caved. My inner voice spoke LOUDLY to me that I should not go in and I should not be there long or at all. I should've heeded my inner voice, but I was just trying to do whatever would speed difficult child up without a fight. We were only inside a few minutes and there was no fight (though the person in the home was "somewhat" looking for a fight with me, in particular -- long story, it's a member of his bio family). However, I said nothing, there was no fight, and I exited quickly with difficult child.

    This happened last Monday.

    Yesterday (the following Monday) on the news, I see there was a murder on the block where I was last week picking up difficult child. As I viewed the news footage of police tape, I see that it's next door to the house I was in last week --- where my inner voice told me to NOT TO BE. My car was parked all of 30-ft from the front door of the murder home (multiple stab wounds).

    Turns out there was an altercation between 3 men and 1 woman in broad daylight outside on the sidewalk -- right where my car was parked days earlier. One of the men repeatedly stabbed one of the other men, then the others all ran off together. The stabbed man dragged himself to the closest front door (next door to where I was days earlier) and promptly died of his wounds.

    On the news, the police state they suspect it was a premeditated murder. They're still tracking the assailants.

    difficult child and I are just fine, no problems. However.....it's a huge reminder to me to trust my own instincts. If the hair on the back of our neck stands up, there's a reason for it.....even if we don't know what it is in that moment. Heed it anyway!

    ALWAYS LISTEN TO OUR INNER VOICES OF WARNING AND HEED THEM....... I will remember to listen better. This was a profound lesson and reminder for me.

    Nothing like a little wake-up call reminder......... Hello!

    PS -- I have vowed to never go near that house (let alone inside it) again. I learn.
  2. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Oh my God! I got chills just reading this. Thank God it didn't happen while your son was there those couple days that he was there. Wow, seems like he was in bad situations.
  3. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    He literally dodged a bullet...or a knife in this case...and of course you too!
  4. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    GM -- Thanks. Yes, our difficult child is constantly at risk. He does NOT tend to learn. This is not even remotely his first brush with violence. When he was 18 he was involved in a drug-infused game of Russian Roulette. The gun handler pointed the gun at difficult child's forehead and pulled the trigger. No bullet. Then he pointed it at the second guy's head and pulled the trigger. No bullet. Lastly, he pointed the gun at his own neck and pulled the trigger while laughing. Bullet. He died in the spot, 5 ft away from our difficult child.

    That is the day I realized we could lose our difficult child any day. As you can see, difficult child gravitates back toward those settings. For the life of me, I cannot get him to change his mind for long.

    However, HE may not change his actions, but I can. I choose to change my actions today on heeding my own inner warnings. I should've known better. I knew it was a mistake.

    However, I am VERY THANKFUL that God spared difficult child and me last week. And, honestly, I probably only know the tip of the iceberg for how many times difficult child has had brushes with violence.

    So, I reiterate...... I am VERY thankful for every good day we have him. And I'm also pretty darned thankful I wasn't there to witness that murder committed yesterday!
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow. That is certainly a reminder to trust one's instincts. That poor guy. I am so glad you and your difficult child are now safe.
  6. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    PS -- I should add that our difficult child was NOT in that house since that day I picked him up for rehab. He's still in rehab. Thank you, God, on multiple counts!
  7. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Wow, all I can say is WOW after reading all that. And he tried to bring you into the home??? I wonder why he was so adamant about you going in there and meeting them????? I am so glad you are safe! I can't help but to be mad at him right now for dragging you in there! However, the important thing is he is out of there and getting help now. Please god let this be the one that works!
  8. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    GM -- Thank you so much for your supportive words. difficult child has trouble playing nice in the sandbox, so he often has no place to sleep. His birth uncle (we adopted difficult child at age 6) is currently living in that house. All 3 of his bio uncles are felons. This particular uncle is sober, though. He is hardened, but sober. For some reason, difficult child keeps wanting me to like his uncles. I do not. I think that's why he wanted me to come in. I have no other explanation for his insistence.

    For difficult child, this stuff is all normal. For me and the rest of the sane world, it's craziness.

    I knew better. It was a good reminder to trust my instincts and firm up my boundaries.

    Thanks again for your kind words, GM. :)
  9. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Oh no problem love. I can see why he wanted you to meet them and like them because they are a part of him, but still, maybe if he don't mind, it should be at a safe place next time! Good luck , keep us updated.
  10. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    WOW! Next time I would totally listen to that inner voice.
  11. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    My heart was in my throat seeing the title to your post!
    Yes, you are lucky!!! And I totally agree about following our intuition.
    Sadly, I had to learn the hard way...but I think I got it down now.
    Please check out my post in Watercooler about my doctor. Has my "intuition" buzzing.
  12. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    Nomad -- Thank you! :)

    Hey, I'm looking for your post about your doctor in Watercooler and not sure how to find it?
  13. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    Nomad -- Ok, I found your post! What is the "Watercooler" forum for, in general? I get that it's "talking around the watercooler, etc", stuff. But is it just a general place of sharing?

    I read your story and so sorry to hear you got the run-around. That stinks! Especially when it's for your health. I see that was just yesterday you posted and I feel like I came in in the middle of the story? Are you ok, Nomad? Hoping things get straightened out for you?

    2 quick thoughts about the medical profession....

    1) I worked in healthcare the majority of 20+ years (variety of positions from rehab to respiratory to pharmaceuticals -- but I'm neither an MD nor an RN). Some aspects of it I thoroughly loved, respected, appreciated and enjoyed. Sometimes it inspired me greatly to be in a position to do help). While most providers I worked with were ethical, a few seemed more concerned about quantity than quality. Rush, rush, rush and stay detached. That's the antithesis of what healthcare should be.

    2) As a patient, I have also experienced a wide range of responses. Once I disagree/questioned a doctor and he didn't like it at all. In fact, he booted me off as his patient. I gladly switched to another doctor in same office and she's been fantastic.

    On the other hand, when I had cancer (2.5 yrs ago), I was just treated SO well by everyone I saw -- from surgeons, to radiation oncologists, to follow-up appts. Stellar. They saved my life and they did it with love. The cancer care center I was at was FULLY dedicated to patients and their recovery. As I sat outside, I wondered why ALL medical practices weren't like this one.

    I'm so sorry you had to experience that nightmare of confusion with your doctor. I'm impressed that you became your own healthcare advocate and pressed for answers! Way to go, Nomad!

    Now...... My wish for you is that you get the good medical you deserve and that you are feeling better quickly! Take care and may that medical mess clear up pronto!
  14. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    Nomad -- Oh, wait........maybe I should be posting this on your thread? Hang on.......will copy and paste to your thread! :)