Shawna, Star is right.
You have choices. With everything that has been dumped on you, it would be so easy to sink. But what would that achieve? Would it help your daughter? Nope. Would the sight of you sunk in misery get through to her when nothing else has? Nope, so don't even be tempted. Would you sinking in misery help the rest of your family? Nope. Would it hurt less? Nope.
So that means the only way is up. It's NOT easy. Sometimes it's darn hard. But take it form me - it is far easier to drag yourself out form under all that rubbish, than to stay there a minute longer.
It is incredibly stressful to have to live with any of this. But psychologists know that the most effective way to survive stress, is to feel you're actually DOING something, even if what you do isn't making any different. Simply beleiving you COULD make a different eventually, can turn the crud into gold.
Think about it - what have you been through? A great deal. What good is any of it - the abuse, the assault, the misery of watching your child go down the drain? From one point, absolutely none. But YOU can make it worth something. WHy endure it, if you can't make good use of it?
The value of what you have been through, is experience. YOU have endured and you are still alive. Of course you are burned, wounded, injured. But healing happens when you let it. And even while waiting for healing, you can begin to work using your experience to be there for other mothers. You don't need brains, you don't need knowledge, you don't need corporate capability. You just need passion (you have that!) and experience (plenty of that, too).
Stop trying to rescue your daughter. A rescue on your terms is not a rescue. She has to get herself out of this because only then can she own it. If she never does - your involvement wouldn't change a thing. Yes, she could die. But that will not be your fault. You have already put in as much as you could, to ensure her survival. It is somewhere there in her mind, in the upbringing you gave her. You have done your job as a mother when it comes to teaching your daughter the right way to live. She took what you gave her then made her own choices. You can't do any more than you have; all you can do there now, is watch and wait. Or if you can't stand it, then don't look. It's like watching your kid at the circus, walking the high wire without a safety net when they have no experience. You can't look. All you can do is hope that you instilled in her enough knowledge of what to do. SHE made the choice to get up there, she has to live with that choice.
So get back to you. You have other obligations. You have other tasks in your life. And the fastest way to begin to feel better, is to DO something for other people in your shoes.
Who else can really know the misery of a mother watching this happen? Who else can be loving and supportive of such a mother, when all people around her are saying, "You must have allowed your child to be abused, for this to be happening now."?
Start small. Inform yourself. Find a local sexual health clinic and maybe put up a leaflet there, asking any parents of such kids to call you to meet somewhere for coffee. Or put up leaflets at churches. Talk to a social worker about the sort of problems they see, and find out what needs to be done.
There is a huge need here. A lack of information, a lack of services.
Write it all down. Writing is good terapy. YOu write with passion - I'm sure you feel a lot better after you have posted here about the most recent problems. So continue it through, write the whole story from her early days, through to her upbringing, to her diagnosis with bipolar, the medications problems - write the lot. Where you need accurate medical info, maybe get her doctor to write those bits or oversee what you write in those sections. But YOU would be the author, writing form the mother's point of view.
The world needs this. You need this. And in the long run, not only your daughter but all other similar daughters will benefit from this.
If your daughter does not survive this, then at least this will mean the misery is put to good purpose to maybe save other mother's daughters.
But you never know - this could save her as well.
Frankly, I think it's the best chance for all of you.
Marg