CAmom
Member
My son will be completing his program at the group home and graduating from high school (on the honor roll!) in the next few weeks after ten months at the group home.
He will also be turning 18 around the same time. He has several hundred dollars that we've been holding for him, and I just opened a checking and savings account for him, splitting the money between the two accounts.
At the moment, because he's not quite 18, these are joint accounts under his and our names. I had planned to remove my husband and myself as joint account holders when he turns 18 and let him manage his own money, but I'm wondering about how wise that is.
On the one hand--one major component of the program our son has been participating in during the past ten months is independent living skills including managing the checking account they opened for him. Although he'll be living at home, probably for some time, we'd like to continue to encourage him to manage his own money without our involvement and really don't want to be involved in his spending choices other than offering advice if we're asked.
On the other hand--we don't want to give him easy access to a large sum of money until we're certain that he's not going to go back to his old lifestyle which included not doing much of anything productive, smoking marijuana and using God knows what else, etc. However, I have serious reservations about trying to control him via his money as this is certainly how he'd see it.
The other aspect of this is that we would really like to have his homecoming start off on a positive note and not dwell on his past mistakes, and assume, until and if he proves otherwise, that he's made the changes he says he's made and will make better choices in the future WITHOUT us playing watchdog.
What do you all think?
He will also be turning 18 around the same time. He has several hundred dollars that we've been holding for him, and I just opened a checking and savings account for him, splitting the money between the two accounts.
At the moment, because he's not quite 18, these are joint accounts under his and our names. I had planned to remove my husband and myself as joint account holders when he turns 18 and let him manage his own money, but I'm wondering about how wise that is.
On the one hand--one major component of the program our son has been participating in during the past ten months is independent living skills including managing the checking account they opened for him. Although he'll be living at home, probably for some time, we'd like to continue to encourage him to manage his own money without our involvement and really don't want to be involved in his spending choices other than offering advice if we're asked.
On the other hand--we don't want to give him easy access to a large sum of money until we're certain that he's not going to go back to his old lifestyle which included not doing much of anything productive, smoking marijuana and using God knows what else, etc. However, I have serious reservations about trying to control him via his money as this is certainly how he'd see it.
The other aspect of this is that we would really like to have his homecoming start off on a positive note and not dwell on his past mistakes, and assume, until and if he proves otherwise, that he's made the changes he says he's made and will make better choices in the future WITHOUT us playing watchdog.
What do you all think?