Highly Sensitive People/Empath. Is this you?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Jul 17, 2017.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It's definitely me. I feel too much...happiness, sadness, positivity, negativity, good moods of others, b ad moods of others, critism, praise, etc. I even can't stand loud music or noise or crowded places (for too long) and can smell things two rooms away. Only my autistic son has this strong sense of smell, at least that I have known. I cry for people who are the underdog, animals, sometimes even feel objects. I'm starting to believe tthat this has always been a huge problem for me. I have learned to force negativity away from me...because it affects me too much and it is better for me not to be around it....you?

    16 Habits Of Highly Sensitive People | HuffPost
     
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I read that book The Highly Sensitive Person and I fit the description in every possible way. It can be tough, I've had to learn many, many, many ways of taking very, very good care of myself.
     
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  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    For me I feel the negative as much as the positive, but like you belatedly learned how to take care of me. I try to stay positive with positive people and in positive places. RE, I am going to read the book. Thank you.
     
  4. wisernow

    wisernow wisernow

    it is me. and I struggle with it all the time. I work in a field where I am always dealing with conflicts. and am so tired at the end of the day. While I love my job I know its time to start moving on to something gentler. I am fiercely protective now about not letting drama into my life as it sucks me dry.
     
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I am very much this way. I physically feel the pain and suffering of others. It effects the kinds of movies, music, and books I read. It is probably the biggest reason I feel I must rescue other people.........so I can stop suffering.

    I will be going to the bookstore today.
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I love true crime but just gave it up. I sit and cry for the victims. Trying to only watch neutral shows or comedy.

    I hear you, pas. I feel the pain of others too much. Once I drove an evicted mom of seven place to place until she found a place to live. It was do emotionally tiring, but I couldnt know about it and do nothing.

    After being in crowds, including work, I need "me" time. Alone time. People exhaust me. I feel everything intensely. I have always been this way. Im glad it has now been identified and studied.
     
  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I have been told that I can be a bit aloof and dismissive. They don't realize that I have to be this way to minimize the impact of their emotions, problems, and illnesses on me. I have been working on this issue for years. This propensity for absorbing others suffering is also the reason I become so mired in my son's drama.
     
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I am sorry, pasa. I understand. I got involved in everyones drama...ugh. created some too. My over sensitivity caused drama too.
     
  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I will have to read this article..,I haven't yet as I have an appointment. to get to.

    I believe this is my gift or curse...I remember as a child, my cousin stepped on a broken glass and had a bad cut. I was probably 6 or 7. I limped for two days. Feeling others pain has always affected me.

    I can't talk to someone who has list a loved one. I have to keep my distance, it overwhelms me. I am like a grief magnet...

    Ksm
     
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ksm, wow. Interesting. Very.

    I used to be a horrible hypochondiac. I worked in three hospitals for sbout six years and was constantly feeling sick. I wonder....thanks for the thoughts. I am sure this didnt help.
     
  11. seek

    seek Member

    I am also an HSP and an empath, and it is not easy. As I was out and about yesterday, I was consciously noticing all of the different energies. It's a lot to deal with . . . there are many ways to guard and shield and "detox" from others energies.
     
  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    [QUOTE="SomewhereOutThere, i used to be a horrible hypochondiac. I worked in three hospitals for sbout six years and was constantly feeling sick. I wonder....thanks for the thoughts. I am sure this didnt help.[/QUOTE]

    I worked in medical/surgical offices for over 20 years. It seemed that people would seek me out... Even though there were multiple specialties with separate check in areas...lost souls would always find me.

    Now that I am not working, I kind of hibernate at home. I need to push myself to get out more.

    Ksm
     
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ksm, very interesting. That must also be a trait. People find me too and confide in me. They always have. The first time I ever got together with one friend who was like a sister (since sadly deceased) she started telling me all about her very challenging childhood. At one pount she stopped in thebmiddle of a sentence, looked confused snd said,"I dont know why I'm telling you this. I never tell anyone."
     
  14. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am also very sensitive to food, toxic people, environmental toxins, pollution....if I am physically close to a person who is highly toxic, I get sick. My diet is very strict because anything other than natural plants and whole foods brings up allergies or simply makes me sick. Feeling others pain and struggles was difficult as a child since so many in my bio family are mentally ill, so that chaos and drama, for a highly sensitive child was devastating. I've had 25 years of therapy and a lifetime of healers help me to accept that I am not a 'typical' human, there is much that I simply cannot physically, emotionally or mentally tolerate.....I protect my sensibilities now, whereas as a younger person, I didn't understand how to care for myself....but thankfully I've learned. I don't watch TV (accept for documentaries, to learn) nor read the newspaper; I don't possess a "filter" for lack of a better word, that keeps the negatives at bay for most people....they fly right in on every level and do harm.

    I am now very protective of the "space" around me, who I come in contact with, what I read, etc. Folks in need of 'presence,' to be seen and heard find me, no matter where I am.....on planes I bring a book otherwise, someone will find me and spend 6 hours sharing their deepest feelings.......sometimes I am not only ok with it, but cherish it, but I have to be in a certain frame of mind. I've had to learn very, very strict boundaries. I've done a lot of work on myself to figure out how to be okay with how I am....it takes work. I am an introvert and don't have a lot of friends....I cry very easily, often about the plight of others....I cannot tolerate chaos and drama and I've been embroiled in it most of my life.....it took me many years to come to the understanding that I am not responsible for others.... empathy is my greatest gift and my greatest lesson, the proverbial double edged sword.....I believe love is what matters most, so my values don't fit in the cultural norm......at my age now I've grown into who I am, accepted myself and learned to take care of myself....I have compassion for myself and I am kind to myself....I've had to learn that, it didn't come naturally, especially being so different, there's been a lot of judgement, internal and external, and I had to let that go and love myself as I am.

    In my belief, miracles abound when we love and accept ourselves.... find our authentic selves and become true to that. For me, in the final analysis, that is all there is......from there loving others is a natural state.
     
  15. seek

    seek Member

    One time I had a several hour job interview with a super toxic person, and I came home and had to go to bed for a day.
     
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    RE, i will never acquire your marvelous gift of writing in such a clear way. I feel we are much alike, with a big difference being that in my anxious/unloving toward me familr-of-origin, I was so hyper sensitive and incapable of handling my emotions that I was very reactive. Even as my life became good i remained reactive when it was my family of origin.

    The rest of my life is similar to yours. I am also ultra sensitive to medication side effects and weather, cigarette smoke, and people in distress. I eat pretty clean or my stomach reminds me it is sensitive too.

    I am learning who I can handle and who I cant. I have started to really like the person I became and if someone else doesnt like me...it is best we part company. I prefer my hub and kids to anyone else.

    I feel we manifest our own abundance...all types of abundance. Good life, good partner, enough money, etc. RE, I always had different values. Stuff/toys/jewelry/even college never mattered to me. I had to fake being excited if somebody showed me around their new house. I accept me now. I am glad i dont crave what some other people do.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Seek, I hear you loud and clear.

    I had a job at a newspaper that was full of toxic gossip and meanness that people tried to pull me into. To avoid that I would skip breaks so that I wasnt in the employee room and go home for lunch. When I needed anxiety breaks, I went to the bathroom, hid in a stall, pulled an uplifting book out of my purse, and read it there untilI was ready to go back!
     
  18. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I have had people come up to me out of the blue and begin to share their woes. I had a sales person begin to share their life story. I believe I had asked where the duct tape was located. I truly had to stifle the urge to tape his mouth shut.

    Most of my romantic relationships have been with men who honed in on this gift/curse. This makes for a miserable situation.
     
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  19. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That made me laugh out loud Pasa, thanks!

    My husband always asks me to "speed it up" if I run into the bank or a store, because inevitably I run into the "duct tape guy!"
     
  20. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I love it, Pasa! Hilarious but I get it.