Home Study over

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by AllStressedOut, Oct 6, 2007.

  1. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Well, the social worker (I guess thats his title) came just before 10 am. He left about 15 minutes ago.

    He sat down at the kitchen table with me and husband and went over the questionaires with us. husband hadn't filled his out completely. Slacker. :rolleyes: So I filled out the remaining areas on the boys forms that husband didn't complete and husband filled out the remainder of his form. The guy was very nice and just went over some of the answers with us. Asked if either of us are seeing psychiatric type docs. Asked about the boys and their personalities.

    He went and looked in the boys room. It was a mess! I didn't have them clean it up this morning, so no beds were made and there was dirty laundry on the floor. Their dresser drawers were open with clean clothes hanging out. :rolleyes: Oh well, its their room, I'm sure he understands kids aren't concerned with neatness. He did say he loved our house and that it was very big. LOL, my house is normal for the neighborhood, about 2100 square feet and for 9 people to live here, its not big enough.

    husband never got his letters of recommendation. We each needed 3. He only has 1 and that is because our old principal wrote 1 letter that applied to both he and I. The social worker guy said he needs the other two, so husband is going to have to really get on his friends about this. I can't believe with reminders from both husband and I for the last 4-5 months that they haven't written it for them. These are college buddies and their wives and we've both emailed them more than once. I would be a little ticked if it were my friends. This is really important and they should have followed through. :grrr: I guess it takes a slacker (husband) to know slackers (DHs friends).
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Sounds like it went well. Are there other people your husband can use as references, preferably of the female persuasion? It really does seem like women are much better at writing these letters.

    I do love the condition of the boys' room. It is good that they see it in a normal state and that the "normal" isn't unsanitary.
  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Glad it went well. Truthfully a little confused when your doing the adoption why husband has to have recomendations but alas this would get me started on a whole thing....

    Good luck in proceeding.

  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Slackers of a feather slack together!

    Prayers that the rest of this process flows smoothly.
  5. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Beth, I don't really get that either. I mean, it's not like they're going to terminate his rights if he doesn't have referrals. He is their bio dad and will stay their guardian whether I adopt or not. The social worker just said that some judges require you to have everything asked for. I'd rather do it right and not pay to do this twice.

    husband doesn't have any female friends, but I did ask that the wives of his friends be the ones to write the letters. None of them did, the wives or the husbands. I may ask a few of my friends who know husband to write letters for him. I'm sure they'd be willing to.
  6. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Speaking from experience, be careful who you ask to write those letters. Although it didn't affect the outcome, one of the people who we asked, wrote some things that were somewhat negative. They expressed concern because we would go to friends and play cards till "all hours of the night" and husband would drink. Fortunately the lady doing our homestudy realized that what we did was not a bad thing (husband doesn't drink to excess) and when you're childless, you can do these things.

    It still hurt though knowing that someone we thought was a friend, didn't have the confidence in us to realize that what we were doing wasn't a bad or excessive thing and that again, we were childless at the time and could actually stay up late.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    We had a few friends who just don't write letters well. I admit we cheated. We wrote the letters for them and they read them and signed off. If we hadn't, we would never have gotten them...lol.
  8. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    My husband actually did this. The problem is his letter was a joke and beyond inappropriate. He found it hysterical. I'm just glad he didn't pass it along to the social worker. He tends to think these things would be funny to everyone who reads them. Trust me, they aren't.

    The social worker did say he would accept them via email in a word document. So I think we may end up writing up different versions for each and let them read them over.

    Maybe if we email them again this weekend, they'll jump on it. We have to have them to him by Tuesday.
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Be careful if your computer has a 'name'. The word document will record what computer it was created on.

    Good luck! I am sure it will go smoothly once you get those letters.