So Tired
Member
Yesterday was the deadline we gave difficult child to "shape up or ship out" Although he has been getting up on his own and getting to work he has not been living up to any of the other rules of the house. He has still been drinking here in the middle of the night, smoking pot (I keep finding crushed pop cans with holes poked in them) and has to be nagged and coierced (spelling?) into just barely picking up after himself.
His last meltdown was about a month ago - he refused to go to work and cut up his arms. husband took him to a p-hos. I was hoping for some sort of help, but just got a referal to more phyciatrists. One of the stipulations for remaining here was that he seek psychiatrist help for his coping problems. He made and kept the first appointment, but was a no show for the next. I only found out when I found my uncashed check for the co-pay. Yes, he is so bold he even stopped by here for the co-pay before "going" to his appointment. I tried to explain that the psychiatrist was not a punishment, but was to try and help him understand why he has these meltdowns.
Today, I discovered an I.M. message on the computer between difficult child and a friend. difficult child said he "did acid" yesterday. When confronted, he claims he just said that to "look cool" I know it is a big lie! I have also been finding several Dust Off cans around lately and g0d knows difficult child doesn't have give a cr@p about cleanliness!
So here is the problem. husband and I both know that difficult child has a drug problem. How big? We just don't know. I will admit that I just don't know much about that kind of stuff, but difficult child shows all the signs:
poor hygiene
multiple piercings -- nose, lips, gaged ears
long unkept dyed hair
moodiness, aggression, anger issues
no motivation
new group of friends
never has any $$ (although he does buy lots of video games and cr@p)
alcohol and pot found in his room
went from 3.4 g.p.a. to pretty much barely graduating. Failed most of senior year classes.
I am at the quitting point. I will help difficult child if he wants to seek help and follow house rules, but I will no longer enable him by letting him live here and making it so easy for him to be a drug-using slaker. husband is not ready yet. He worries what will happen to difficult child if we kick him out. husband can't see that difficult child may need to get worse before he can get better, and by letting him live here we are enabling his poor choices. husband is too tender hearted and willing to give difficult child "one more chance". difficult child and I don't get along at all because he knows he has used up all his chances with me so he keeps saying I'm "not willing to work with him", meaning not willing to be suckered!
We are supposed to "talk" with him tonight. I'm sure husband will want to give him one more "last chance" (big sigh....) But as for me, he has used up every "last chance" I had in me. I hope husband sees the light soon.....
His last meltdown was about a month ago - he refused to go to work and cut up his arms. husband took him to a p-hos. I was hoping for some sort of help, but just got a referal to more phyciatrists. One of the stipulations for remaining here was that he seek psychiatrist help for his coping problems. He made and kept the first appointment, but was a no show for the next. I only found out when I found my uncashed check for the co-pay. Yes, he is so bold he even stopped by here for the co-pay before "going" to his appointment. I tried to explain that the psychiatrist was not a punishment, but was to try and help him understand why he has these meltdowns.
Today, I discovered an I.M. message on the computer between difficult child and a friend. difficult child said he "did acid" yesterday. When confronted, he claims he just said that to "look cool" I know it is a big lie! I have also been finding several Dust Off cans around lately and g0d knows difficult child doesn't have give a cr@p about cleanliness!
So here is the problem. husband and I both know that difficult child has a drug problem. How big? We just don't know. I will admit that I just don't know much about that kind of stuff, but difficult child shows all the signs:
poor hygiene
multiple piercings -- nose, lips, gaged ears
long unkept dyed hair
moodiness, aggression, anger issues
no motivation
new group of friends
never has any $$ (although he does buy lots of video games and cr@p)
alcohol and pot found in his room
went from 3.4 g.p.a. to pretty much barely graduating. Failed most of senior year classes.
I am at the quitting point. I will help difficult child if he wants to seek help and follow house rules, but I will no longer enable him by letting him live here and making it so easy for him to be a drug-using slaker. husband is not ready yet. He worries what will happen to difficult child if we kick him out. husband can't see that difficult child may need to get worse before he can get better, and by letting him live here we are enabling his poor choices. husband is too tender hearted and willing to give difficult child "one more chance". difficult child and I don't get along at all because he knows he has used up all his chances with me so he keeps saying I'm "not willing to work with him", meaning not willing to be suckered!
We are supposed to "talk" with him tonight. I'm sure husband will want to give him one more "last chance" (big sigh....) But as for me, he has used up every "last chance" I had in me. I hope husband sees the light soon.....