I think she is freaking out about all of it... you have said that she has been like velcro on your b**t all summer.
I know for me and my kids that when I am we are anxious we become agitated and then it can become anger, frustration...
I have learned (somewhat) how to see the signs... but it is hard at times to catch it all before it becomes full blown. Especially for my kids, which is how she is acting, like my kids!
This does not excuse any of it.
I think you are doing the right thing though in making her deal with this on her own like in the real world.
She knows that you would never really abandon her but will not put up with her BS.
The dog is just so sad- I am glad he was OK. We can not leave Dexter alone with K.
SO sorry that her Birthday may be strained and her last few days at home.