I am home...thank heavens!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Oct 3, 2009.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We left early.

    I can never stay up there at Jamies for as long as I intend to stay. Simply cannot. I know I shouldnt feel the way I do about this part of my family and I should be the bigger person but I simply do not like them. At this point, I dont even like Jamie anymore. I am very disappointed in his choices.

    daughter in law is simply a very rude, stupid and ungrateful witch. I dont want anything more to do with her. Ever. She called my oldest son while she was IN the hospital prior to going in for her c-section to *itch because I had eaten some cheese balls the night before. They were the only thing I could find in the house to eat besides some sugar cones for ice cream (which there was no ice cream) and I had to have something to eat when I took my nightly pills. I would have just eaten bread but there wasnt any of that. I immediately replaced the cheese balls the next day but I guess that wasnt good enough. Also, I was stuck in the house one day with her while Tony was riding along with Jamie in the truck for work and he didnt leave me any money to go out to eat and she fixed herself and Hailie food for lunch, her step-brother fixed himself food for lunch....and none of them even asked me if I was hungry or would like something to eat! I sat there all day and never had one thing to eat. Tony said I should have just made me something but good lord...if I got in trouble for eating cheese balls...can you imagine what would have happened if I made something to eat! Evidently those were HAILIES cheese balls. OMG! Spoiled rotten brat.

    Speaking of Hailie. She is a spoiled, mean, selfish, irritable, nasty child. She gives new meaning to the word difficult child. She literally hates us. I took a knife away from her and she threw a tantrum and cussed me out and locked herself in the bathroom. Yes...she is two. Everytime I looked at her she cussed at me and yelled at me to go home and stop it or some other assorted not nice term. There are serious red flags. No fear and she is seriously infatuated with her genitals and those of other kids. She also wont listen to anyone. No is not in her vocabulary unless she is using it.

    Michael Laylon...whom I will refer to as Laylon from now on...Oh...let me say more on that one...remember how daughter in law said they would never have 4 names for their child? Well...she must not have remembered she told me that because there she sat in the hospital bed and said...if Jamie had wanted Anthony for a first name for the baby they would have named the baby...Anthony Laylon Michael Mc....! Jamie just looked at me like he hoped I didnt catch that. I just stared at him. Hard. Its ok if she is getting what SHE wants but not to make ME happy in the least little way. I also think the baby has a little cleft chin...she says...I hope he grows out of that...maybe we can have surgery! What the H? See...my whole family has the cleft chin. I have wanted a kid with the cleft chin. Sigh. He does look like he has the brown hair...and I swear he is darker complected but she says it is just the lighting...lol. He also already has 4 freckles...lol. Thats alot for a newborn. I think his skin tone is more like Keyana's was at birth. Wont that chap her hide.

    We finally just went in on friday and decided to leave. Lindsey called us on Wednesday to ask us how things had gone with the baby being born. Wasnt that nice of her? LOL. She also let Keyana talk to us because Keyana was royally upset with us that we went to see Hailie and her Uncle Jamie and didnt take her. Lindsey asked us if we were going to be home by the weekend and we said we didnt think we would be back before saturday. Keyana was sad. Well...we called Lindsey back on Friday and told her we were coming in that evening and Keyana was very happy. We told Jamie we were going home to see the one who loved us...lol. We took Keyana to the fair last night and she had a ball. We even ran into Lindsey and her mom at the fair and Keyana didnt want to have a thing to do with them...it was Hi mom, bye mom.

    Gosh its good to be home!
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    So you had a great time and you're so sorry you had to leave early!

    I'm sorry Jamie is being a putz. daughter in law - well, she's very egocentric. I'm being nice.

    Glad to have you back.

    Next time, I would take my own food and I wouldn't share. Yes, that makes me about 5 years old...but I'd still do it anyway. That is just ridiculous.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh...and another thing. I was also informed that I am hosting Thanksgiving this year at my house but that I must have chicken mcnuggets because that is all Hailie will eat!

    Ok, I will be damned if I will be told that I have to have something like that for Thanksgiving dinner. I will have either a turkey or a ham along with the normal side dishes...a good variety...and she can choose from them. She doesnt have to eat everything but she is not having chicken nuggets for Thanksgiving dinner! If they attempt to go out to get her nuggets from McDonalds they best pack their bags and get them on their way back home! I dont cater to childrens whims. I dont force foods on kids but I will not allow a 2 year old to tell me what to cook for dinner!
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Good for you Janet! Sounds like it is going to be a very 'interesting' Thanksgiving at your house this year! Just to be fair to both sides though ... are you completely sure that the Pilgrims and the Indians did NOT have McNuggets at that first Thanksgiving? ;) Just checking. As far as I'm concerned, when they visit you, it's your house - your rules! And Little Ms. Spoiled Rotten H*ll on Wheels should be in for a rude awakening!

    And to be perfectly blunt, I think you need to smack Jamie right upside the head! Did he know that his wife didn't even offer you food when you were a guest in their home, and then she ate right in front of you? That's the most incredibly rude thing I've ever heard of! That goes way beyond pure ignorance or social ineptness - that's deliberately being rude and hateful! She sounds like a psycho! Is she that way with her own family too? And what woman, at the very moment of going in to give birth to a child, would be worried about who ate the bleeping cheese balls! Unreal!

    If this goes on, it will cause a real rift in the family if it hasn't already. I think you need to have a long talk with Jamie and tell him exactly what happened and see what he says. He needs to man-up and tell his wife that she needs to treat his family with courtesy and respect. I can see no reason she would have to dislike you - this is simply inexcuseable.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was gobsmacked when I got home and my oldest actually knew about the cheese balls! Only two people knew about it. Ok...three. Tony did too after I asked him to buy me some at the store but he didnt know why I wanted them.

    Its already causing a rift. Its sad that I dont want anything to do with them.
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Do you want to do Thanksgiving dinner? What would happen if you told them you aren't up to it this year and maybe someone else should do it.

    If you're up for doing it, I'd make it very clear in advance that there will be no chicken MacNuggets under any circumstances. They may give Hailie everything she wants, but you are not going to give Keyana the impression that if she throws a big enough fit she can have whatever she wants.

    It won't kill Hailie to go without a meal. And if that's something they're not ready to deal with, they should stay home.
  7. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I have one reaction to your first post:



    Witch is putting is mildy.

    Hailie has learn well from her. daughter in law has obviously been very vocal in her contempt of you. Not offering you food? WTH??? Sacred cheeseballs? WTH???

    Why wasn't there food in the house before she had the baby?

    Chicken nuggets for Thanksgiving? Blech! Perhaps they would be better off having their Thanksgiving AT McD's.

    Then the whole name thing.

    Geeze Janet, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you enjoyed your time with Keyana afterward.
  8. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Ahhh, Janet - ain't family grand? ;) I have to admit I feel most sorry for Jamie. I would bet the poor man bends over backwards to keep daughter in law happy, or at least tries to.

    I've come up with several kind of snarky ideas but really, at the end of the day I'd probably just bite my tongue and try to appease her. If she wants to flip out over cheeseballs, let her. No sense in making life harder for Jamie than it already is. Hailie sure does sound like she's heading down the difficult child road - he's going to need your support.

    daughter in law sounds flat out jealous of you. I may be naive, but I cannot think of any other reason for her to be so horrid.

    I'm glad you got to come home and spend some happy time with- Keyana. No sense in wasting excess time where you're not wanted. I am glad to hear Laylon arrived safe and sound, cleft chin, freckles, and all. ;)

    I'd make sure they know Thanksgiving is a BYON(uggets) day - you *know* that if you supply them, they'll be the wrong brand, flavor, texture, color, size, temperature, and weight. ;)

    Family - the ties that bind and gag us. Erma Bombeck sure got that right.
  9. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I agree with Witz! They've been really taking the easy way out with that kid! If the McNuggets were to suddenly disappear from her life, wonder how long she would go and how hungry she would get before she would start eating other foods. No child is going to starve themselves to death! It may be a rough first few days but if they stood their ground it would all soon be over. Do you mean that that's the only meat she will eat but she eats other things too, or that McNuggets are the only food she will eat - period? How horribly unhealthy, especially for a two year old! But I'm preaching to the choir, huh.

    If it were me, I would tell them flat out that there will be no McNuggets at your house and that she will just have to eat what everybody else eats. See what happens then! Since when does a two year old get to dictate the Thanksgiving Day menu in someone elses house? If they decide not to come, then it's their loss, and you can all have a nice peaceful Thanksgiving without all the stress of having them there.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member


    I think I'd say I'm still recovering, and someone else gets the "privilege" of hosting. Or go out. Hubby and I did that last year, and it was great. No dishes, no mess, no drama...except for the strange man who ran into the restaurant kitchen and vomited. Really.
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I think little Hailie would be getting cheeseballs and McNuggets for Christmas. :winks:
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry it was so terrible!!! The birth of a child is supposed to be a wonderful time of sharing and celebration and family togetherness. SOME moods are expected from the mother just because the physical strain and hormones, but this is way beyond that.

    Your daughter in law is way overboard. She is just plain mean and stupid.

    I cannot IMAGINE having someone in my home and not offering them food. When we have a repairman or even a tow truck driver to the house I offer them a drink and/or snack. heck, the year my parents redid their kitchen we had the construction crew and their families over for dinner a time or two!

    Letting a two year old cuss out a grandparent is just beyond belief. I would have had a COW at any of my kids who DARED to try that!!!! They would be lucky to see 3.

    Does Jamie call you a lot from work to talk about his day etc??? I wonder if he isn't bringing home talk of Momma and DILpickle getting jealous. Stupid of the ignorant cow, but it may be the case.

    in my opinion you need to have a frank talk with jamie. Let him know that she didn't even offer food but she ate in front of you. Tell him how upset you were that your beloved granddau treated you this way, that his wife, who you try your best to include in things, seemed to encourage Hailie to treat you poorly.

    Let him know how hurt you are. Let him know, now, that you do not feel welcome at his home and do not want to be there unless things change. Tell him you are sorry his marriage is not going well (cause how can it be? Honestly, can he really be happy?) but that you do not choose to be punished by his wife and child for any reason.

    Then tell him that there will be no nuggets at your home. If he brings them they can stay at a motel or go home. That if Hailie behaves that way in your home she WILL have consequences because you will NOT be treated poorly or disrespectfully in your own home. You raised your kids better and you are done with that kind of treatment.

    You and Tony need to decide if you want to have them come for Thanksgiving. You may actually decide you don't want them to come unless things change. It is OK to say that, esp when behavior is this over the top rude.

    IF you decide not to have them for the holiday you need to speak with the other kids. Get their input and then make a decision. You and Tony need to tell Jamie together.

    I am so glad you have Keyana. Her mom seems to be doing a good job, she is a loving and sweet child who is delighted to spend time with you.

    Focus on her. Give Jamie some time and distance to decide what he wants. THen find a way to cope with it. Just because Jamie chose her for a bride doesn't mean you have to love her, like her, agree with her, or spend time with her. It hurts, but in the long run Jamie will be better off if you tell him openly that you won't be treated that way. He may not know what happened, and he may need you to start this discussion. Once you start it you may find he is at his wit's end because he doesn't know how to change it or get out with-o losing his daughter.

    I am so sorry it was awful. Remember, DILpickle has some crunch but YOU don't have to tolerate her.

    Lots of gentle hugs.
  13. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    You know, I'd already heard some of this from you on the phone but OMG. I'm thinking when they stitched her up from the C-section, they should have put a few stitches in her mouth!

    (already in my corner, thank you very much :tongue: )

    I know you've said that Jamie knows how she is but the boy needs to put his foot down once and for all. I mean c'mon....it's big enough and that woman needs put in her place. You've told me her own mother would have had her hide if she was still living so I can't believe that she would have acted that way around her mom.

    Definately have a talk with Jamie. Write down what you want to say and read it straight from the paper if you have to but he needs to know. If I treated my mother in law like that, husband would rip me a new one in a heartbeat. In fact, at one point in time she lived with us for a bit. Previously she had lived with husband's brother and his wife. My sister in law had so many rules the poor woman was afraid to sneeze. Granted, my mother in law is severely schizophrenic and isn't compliant with her medications but geesh. She wasn't allowed to use sister in law's pans, she wasn't allowed to do this, she wasn't allowed to do that. When she came to our house, she had husband ask me what she could do and use in the house! One of the few times I've ever seen that woman smile a (if you know what I mean) real, genuine BIG smile was when I told her flat out that as long as she didn't set herself on fire, she was welcome to cook whatever she darn well pleased. I honestly didn't care and besides....as long as she's not totally off her medications and hallucinating....the woman can COOK!!! ;) (otherwise, you're never too sure what she puts in stuff and you really don't want to eat her cooking....seriously) I did wind up having issues with her after she'd been here awhile but it was mostly because husband traveled a lot at the time and wasn't home so if he wasn't here, she didn't take her medications. As a result, she was doing some strange things or wouldn't be as careful as she normally would when she smoked. I was constantly finding burn holes in things which scared me more than made me mad. My point though is that anything I did have issues with were things that ANYONE would have had issues with. I did have husband talk to her but again, it was about things that anyone would be concerned with.

    So yeah....talk to Jamie and do it TONIGHT!!!! I'm also in agreement with the whole Thanksgiving thing. McNuggets have NEVER made an appearance at my Thanksgiving dinner table and never will. Your house, your food, your rules. Period.
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I really hope you can get through to Jamie. It's not just whether or not HE wants to put up with psycho-*itch ... if this keeps on she will absolutely RUIN that child! Sounds like she's got a good start on it already! That little girl is well on her way to becoming so obnoxious that no one will be able to stand to be anywhere near her and she will have major problems in school! It must be really bad if even her own grandparents want nothing to do with her! Jamie is either so used to it that he doesn't notice it anymore or he's overwhelmed and has just given up.

    Sounds like a job for "Super Nanny"!
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    No more making nice with this gal. She's taking your "make nice" and using it to walk all over you. Disrespectful to the utter hilt. This type only respects people who don't take their mistreatment.

    Ok. You and Tony come down there to watch Hallie while new baby is born. Yes, and to see new baby to be sure.........but watching Hallie was a HUGE favor for them. Seems a wee bit odd that her mother didn't volunteer for that job. And she has the nerve to get her knickers in a bind over cheese puffs???!!!!??? To eat in front of you and not offer you something to eat??!!??

    Uh, no. Putting up with Hallie's gfgness spoiled rotten behavior is bad enough.......gee wonder who her example is??

    Time to demand respect from both her and Jamie. No more make nice. If they can't deal with it, then they can't deal with it. That just means you don't have to put up with her spoiled Uppity bratty catty *itchy ways anymore.

    You've already had the patience of Job with this girl. Time to take off the kid gloves and do unto her as you would anyone else stupid enough to mistreat you like that.

    So sorry what should've been a happy and joyous family occasion was ruined yet again by Billie.

  16. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nothing to add but hugs-many of them-glad you're back!
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so glad you are home where you can recover and not be so stressed out by them.

    I agree the gloves need to come off. If Jamie does not put a stop to it sooner rather than later you are all going to have to deal with a huge rift in the family. If he won't listen to you maybe he will listen to Cory.

    I would hate to have it come to pass that you didn't have Jamie and his family there for holidays and family celebrations. Hopefully he has the gumption to put his foot up her over-inflated tookus and deflate her a bit.

    Let us know how things go.
  18. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Janet, I hope you do not have to write family off, but I fear that if Jamie will not put his foot down you might have to.

    husband being a chef, we had a LOT of holidays at our place over the years. We NEVER had anyone ask us to to cater holidays at our house.

    Not only that, no one EVER informed us that special dietary concessions beyond those required by allergies or religious beliefs had to be catered to.

    I am absolutely floored!

    Choose your primitive culture or society and I can assure you that as a guest, you will be offered food. It is just what is done.
  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    One more thing. With the little ones the most we ever did was slice their meat into 'finger sized' portions.

    If they didn't want to eat the meat there were plenty of other things they could've eaten.
  20. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Janet, I'm sorry that the birth of a sweet child turned into an aggravating post on miserable mom and her ungracious treatment of you.

    I disagree on some things. First off, if you don't want Thanksgiving at your house just say "sorry, I can't manage it this year" and let it go. If you do decide to have Thanksgiving, what the parents feed their child is on them. I wouldn't put my .02 in even if I disagree. You got to parent your children the way you wanted and now it's time for them to parent their children the way they wanted. They will reap what they sew.

    I'm not sure why you even went if wife is not inviting you or knows how to treat a guest. Don't go back or stay next to Tony and Jamie. Don't be left alone with wife.

    Her talk of removing the cleft is ignorance at it's best. She wasn't raised to have any manners. You are right, Jamie isn't picking good partners and he is stuck. It's his bed and he has to make it work for the children.

    Stay home and let Jamie send pictures.