I got the stupidest email today

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Jul 7, 2009.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    From my daughter in law who is not just a few fries short of a happy meal...she is the whole meal short. She only gets the bag with the toy in it.

    Ok...please no one take offense from me. I am not racist in anyway. This just is astonishing to me.

    The email said: White people dont say LOL anymore, they say GCR. What does GCR mean you might me wondering? Well it means- getta cracker rolling!

    Now she thinks this is hilarious. I dont think she realizes it means she is playing a race card against herself! She is a cracker in all terms! A cracker is what other races use to describe white people! She is white. Why on earth would white people use it to describe themselves? DUH!!!

    This is the same idiot person who insists on buying Keyana black baby dolls because she claims keyana looks dark or mixed race. Well Keyana is mixed but she is mixed white and indian. I would half understand if she got her Indian dolls but no...its black baby dolls constantly.

    She never fails to amaze me with her stupidity.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Just goes to show you... the gene pool is like a Cracker Jack surprise... you just never know what you're getting in every box.
  3. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    :rofl: :rofl:

    FWIW, difficult child always got "brown" baby dolls (that's what she called them). She preferred them and would always say, "I want that doll, but I want the brown one, Mommy". I was always amazed at how many people would comment or ask me why I buy her black baby dolls. Seriously???
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont have a problem with it except for the fact that she does it because she keeps pointedly pointing out...that she does it because Keyana is "half mixed" and so DARK! Keyana isnt DARK! She is a blond haired blue eyed little girl who happens to tan easily. She certianly isnt dark skinned at all. Hailie just happens to be extremely pale skinned.

    I know its evil of me but I pray that every bit of indian Jamie has in him comes out in this little boy. Maybe then she will stop talking about whatever Keyana is or isnt. Im praying for a curly headed, brown eyed, freckled up baby boy.
  5. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    It would serve her right.
  6. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Does anyone use the phrase "half mix" anymore? That's terrible.
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    When I was growing up they were still taking "half-caste" aboriginal kids away from Aboriginal mothers in the mistaken belief that the kids would do better being brought up white and away from a culture which (the government beleived) was rejecting them.

    We lived with the term "half-caste" and it was not intended in a derogatory way. But we now understand that Aboriginality is indepndent ofhow many generations removed you are - if ANY ancestor was Aboriginal, then so are you, in the eyes of Aboriginal culture.

    And now - "half-caste" is seen as a term designed to indicate a place in a priorty system. Kids who were raised to call themselves "half-caste" were trained to think of themselves as superior to darker Aboriginals but inferior to whites. A very wrong attitude. Even if this attitude was not intended to be taught, it was an inevitable result of the whole system of "save the saveable and leave the rest".

    Colour is not an indication of race. A family we know living nearby - the mother & kids are Aboriginal. The son has obvious Aboriginal features but his father's Scandinavian colouring - pale skin and stiff white-blonde hair. His mother says that when they go back to tribal country to visit family, they all crowd round her son because his looks are so unusual. He tans dark in summer but goes pale over winter.
    At the school I was talking to a group of Aboriginal women (it was NAIDOC week - National Aboriginal And Torres Strait Islander week) and we were talking about stolen gneration stuff and things I didn't know despite my actually going to school with "mission" kids. I was struck by the appearance of one of the women - again, classic Aboriginal facial features, but red hair and freckles! She very much considered herself to be Aboriginal and claimed access to the heritage - I was glad she had that right. Despite her colouring there was no way she could ever pretend to NOT be Aboriginal.

    The thing is - it's not about colour of your skin. It's about where you call home, what culture you claim to have a right to.

    it's such a shame your daughter in law doesn't get it.

    When any person keeps pushing the race card in any way like this, the child gets the message. Not necessarily the message they intend to send, either. I suspect daughter in law is the last person to ever consider herself to be racist in any way, but she's pretty darn hamfisted about it.

    As for that term - it's not used in Australia. The Aboriginal term for whitefella is "gubba". Or "balandra". It varies depending on where you are. And I'm not going around referring to myself as gubba, unless I'm in a group of Aboriginals who ask me which tribe I belong to. Only then is it even relevant.

  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Unfortunately Heather.........they do, and quite often.

    Janet this girl (and I say girl cuz she obviously has little maturity) is determined to make you hate her, huh? That is the dumbest thing I ever heard........and I don't see why it would be funny. This girl amazes me with her ignorance. sheesh

    I adore my sister in law, love him like one of my kids. Nothing I wouldn't do for the boy. But his family has been a BAD influence on him, and we're still trying to bring him out of it. To hear the kid talk you'd think he was the most racists person on the planet. Which he's not actually. He thinks it's funny. Although no one in our family laughs.

    I got a big chuckle out of him and easy child one day. sister in law was doing his cracks thinking he was funny. (he also does it to get a rise out of easy child) He said something about Indians. Yup. Stepped his foot right into it.

    easy child looked him in the eye and reminded him that she is indian, which of course means their sons are as well. The look on his face was priceless. Since then he's getting much better. But he still slips up. He was raised that these comments and such were like "sayings" type of thing.

    I really don't think the kid ever gave a thought that what he was saying could actually hurt someone's feelings before that.

    Of course, this is the kid I've also taught proper manners and behavior too as well. Makes me wonder what the heck his parents did for 18 yrs.:faint:

    Now me, I've heard it all..........and it just plain doesn't bother me anymore.

    I'm not quite sure if I could handle an in law as stupid as Billie. LOL
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm not sure what to say to this. It's pretty common for people around the middle eastern states to have native American blood in them. My difficult child gets Cherokee from both sides. As most in our family, he had blonde hair as a baby then it turned very dark and he has dark brown eyes and high cheek-bones. He looks kind of fair skinned when he doesn't have a tan but even his pediatrician noticed his skin tone and said he probably would never get many sunvurns- and so far, that has been correct. My great-grandmother was full blooded cherokee and difficult child's father said there was a lot in his blood-line, too. I believe that from him because he definitely looked the part.

    There are a lot worse things than being mixed- raced, and I'm sorry she doesn't get that. If Cherokee is in the blood, maybe you could take them to the show they have in the smokies, in western NC. It's a pretty nice show for all ages.

    In any case- no kid should have to grow up feeling weird about their heritage.
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I have no clue what race I am. I have green eyes and grey hair. Once it was dirty blond, then it was dirty brown. Now it's three stunning shades of red and blond that my hairdresser gives me.

    In the winter I'm pale white. In the summer I'm brown as a berry. I always thought I was German, but later on I learned some of the family was Czech, which was pretty fun when Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd were doing "Two Wild and Crazy Guys". But I hear that I'm Irish and Scottish and British too. Apparently my family wasn't too particular. We are soo good lookin' though. I'm pretty sure we didn't care who we were with so long as they were good looking.

    Whatever your daughter in law is, she's a half-wit. I hope that she gets a little wiser as she brings up Jamie's child. One day she'll be the one on the end of the insult, and she'll have a rude awakening...
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Witz, you and me both - mongrels. And I'm darn proud of it!

  12. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Snobbery based on ignorance is an ugly thing in people on all levels of the food chain.
    There is always one tribe who thinks it's better than the next. It's how war happens and has since the beginning of time.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Janet, WHY did Jamie choose her? Surely he is starting to see the error of this choice? She sounds like a poorly educated not too bright person, what the education system used to call "EMH" or educatable mentally handicapped.

    NO WAY can ANYONE in this day and age not know this is offensive. No. Way.

    Though she probably thought cracker was a term for some "other" group of people.

    As for the black baby dolls, what happens if you just STOP. STARE at her in horror. And then tell her very clearly that it is NOT ok to say derogatory things about your grandkids. If she cannot rid herself of the racism, she CAN learn not to express it around you.

    Even dogs can learn that different places have different rules. She isn't as smart as a dumb dog, but if you stop all conversation and stare at her like she just took a dump in the middle of the living room and then danced around nekkid smearing it on herself, well, she WILL get the message. Jamie won't let her keep teh kids from you for long.

    If you have not said anything up to now, then you might start by calling Jamie when he won't be at home and asking him if his values have changed, if he is OK with his children being taught to be racist??? Then he might be able to work on this. Otherwise, go for shock and horror when she does this.

    As for skin tone, I am the fairest person you will ever see. I make those white makeuped vampires look like they just spent a week at the beach! I never get darker, though I do get lobster red.

    husband is at darkest a light medium tone olive complexion. Until he hits the sun. I prayed our kids would tan like him. The kids all are darker than I am, though Jess is not a whole lot darker. In the summer they ALL look at the lightest like "Indians", meaning native american. We have a decent amount of native american, enough to qualify for benefits. At least I do and my kids do. And from husband's side there is also some.

    I would refuse to have her around, just as I would not let my kids be around if they spoke like that about anyone. They have already seen me send them to their room or take them home from a gathering for being that disrespectful.

    I don't CARE, nor should you, if ignorance or being raised "backward" or whatever is the reason she treats Keyana like a red headed left handed step child, I would tell my son to get her out of my home until she can apologize and act like she is fit to be around my family.

    Stand up to her. Let her have a fit. I have great faith that you can out tantrum her. Remember, you helped write the book on gfgishness. Tap back into that.

    NO WAY can you let her treat Keyana like that. Or raise her children to believe it is OK. And if your son is helping instill these values (which I doubt) then you need to know that also.

    This has to stop before it hurts keyana. If it hasn't already.

    Do you know that given the exact same face, just with black skin and with white skin, children who are not white almost ALWAYS say the white skinned image is prettier? They truly believe that it is so.

    Stand up for your beliefs. Make SURE Jamie is aware of this racist behavior when one of HIS kids could end up with Keyana's skin tone or even darker skin.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    After thinking about this some more, I have another thought on it but haven't read all the repsonses so someone else might have suggested it already. What about picking up a couple of dolls with different skin color and telling daughter in law they are so the grands grow up understanding that people come in various shades and sizes and there's nothing wrong with any of them. Really, are there ANY Americans anymore that can say they AREN'T mixed race?
  15. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Race and color are a jumble in my house as well. we talk about it openly. My children have varied responses. My mom has completely different response.

    Tell me if you think this is not ok-------- My very handsome difficult child son--that is what everyone else says------was totally dissed by a girl that he was spending some time with after he was invited to her house(with some other kids). Apparenlty the mom of girl got a look at him and said she should stop dating him. (Granted dating was all about face book and group events) My difficult child was very hurt. Very hurt.

    I said loudly---here is where I need your advice----I was hurt my son was hurt----

    Tell her you can date her on Friday but not on Saturday--on Friday you are XXXXX and on Saturday you are XXXXXXX. It was funny. People laughed. I was angry. The girl's mom walked out of the sports night meeting in a huff.

    So, was it too much? I really had a hard time NOT saying that.
  16. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lizanne - OMG that is GREAT!

    Yeah, I fall into the mixed race category myself. Primarily Hispanic with some Mediterranean - Anglo - Caucasian - African - What have you - thrown in.

    Now. Given that my top 2 are Hispanic and Mediterranean, shouldn't I have dark hair, skin and eyes?

    Nope. I have blonde hair, green eyes and resemble Casper the Ghost.
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lizanne-I think you did well!

    That e-mail is totally offensive, I totally understand the comparison to being the whole meal short of a happy meal!

    Our family is made up of different races, both kiddos are African American, husband is Hispanic, and I'm German/Polish. I think our family photos look great!!
  18. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    difficult child is olive skinned - she has Puerto Rican, Italian and Spanish blood in her. When she tans, she looks Middle Eastern or Indian. easy child is lighter skinned, but when she tans, she looks very Spanish. People have commented on it since forever, especially with difficult child. I have had some people even ask me if difficult child was adopted or if she is of 'mixed race' - a term I absolutely hate. My ex-il's in particular would comment on her skin color all the time when she was little and it clearly upset her so I had to put a stop to it. It didn't help that they fawned all over easy child's beauty - right in front of difficult child without saying one word about her beauty. Dunces - the lot of them!

    Ironically, difficult child always wanted the black dolls when she was little and had a natural curiosity about other races. We never discouraged this - I think it's important for all of us to understand people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, etc.

    My H swears there is African-American in our blood simply because we dance so well - LOL!!!! He's joking of course.

    Sounds like your daughter in law could use a course in social graces. It's amazing to me that anyone could be that ignorant in this day and age. Ugh.
  19. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Janet, she definitely is a half-wit....if that. I've never heard of GCR. It just sounds stupid, to me.

    I have a similar issue with difficult child. She's very olive-skinned. husband and I both are 1/2 Italian. The other half of me is Scottish & English. I look Scottish in my face, but have some olive skin. difficult child has very olive skin. In the summer time, she gets very dark. easy child is the total opposite....he's freckle faced and light skinned. He burns...she soaks the sun in like a sponge.
  20. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Yep, that email is totally offensive! Not the brightest bulb in the box, is she? Maybe Jamie married her because, compared to the first one, she looked good to him! But I remember back when I was a kid and we moved to Florida in the late 50's ... the term 'cracker' was used a lot and hadn't yet been picked up and turned into a derogatory slur. Back then, people called themselves 'Florida crackers' all the time, but it meant a native Floridian, someone who was born there, at a time when so many had migrated there from somewhere else.

    I think I would be upset at her attitude too because it sounds like she's dropping not-so-subtle hints that she thinks Keyana may not be what you say she is, or even that she thinks maybe she's not Cory's biological child? Either way, it's very crude of her to constantly be making comments on Keyana's racial background! Why does she even care?

    I hope Keyana is being taught to be proud of her Indian heritage! I have a tiny bit of Indian blood on my side but we didn't know it until we were adults. I take great pride in it. Apparently, my Missouri grandfather's grandmother was Indian, which would have made him one-fourth, and us one-sixteenth? Not much but it's there. You would never believe that my blue eyed, red-haired, German grandpa was one-fourth Indian, but he was.