New to this type thing, but need some support from somewhere. Will try to form a short version. Got with husband at 18. He had 3 children I raised. I lost 3, one died after childbirth, and I bore 2. Spent many years seeing only 4 walls and 5 kids. Spent rest waitressing, hauling pulp wood, and driving dump truck in construction. Went back to college at 40 acquiring 3 associates degrees in 3 years. Graduated salutatoriun and working as paralegal for a state senator. My daughter graduated at 16 and left for a party and didn't return for nearly a month. During that month I had 2 cervical surgeries. And was scheduled for hysterectomy. Daughter calls to let me know she is pregnant then she comes home for my surgery. After surgery the doctor goes to waiting room and tells her I have Lymphoma and that sent her over the edge. While in hospital I learned by accident that when diagnosed as pregnant she had opiates, thx, and meth in her system. Second day of hospital stay I learn she drained my entire check from debit card. Disappeared again another month. Husband came back. 2.5 years chemo, diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), neuropathy, cellulitis, and degenerative disk disease in lower back. Skipping forward quickly. 21 year old daughter has a 2 and 4 year old that DHS took for 8 months in which time she refused to comply. My husband and I was given custody with her rights terminated June 2017. She lived over 2 years homeless shooting up and prostitution. Finally jailed for 3 months. Released in October, husband abandoned me and 2 babies in December leaving us destitute with my SSI still being denied. 26 year old son released may, 2018 from 3rd prison run for meth. Both joined rival gangs and are trying to have each other killed. Daughter living here being hone 1 night and gone next 3 to 5 because she is young and needs a life and I have custody of kids anyway. Well, both kids officially kicked to curb last night when they were so deep in drugs that daughter put hit out on son. They beat my son in my front yard with me and children sitting in window. He is hiding from a pistol now. Son in return put out hot on daughter, she is in hiding. Meanwhile I am left with 2 kids to raise on 600 a month, with both adult kids wheeling and dealing in the thousands, and husband in Texas with inflamed joints drawing 1800 for himself. Even though I am apparently a dumpster to catch all the trash in life, I WILL NOT ALLOW MY CHILDREN TO KILL ME BECAUSE I AM SOMEONE AND I MATTER. Apron strings are really hard to untie. I just pray I am strong enough to last. I will be praying for you too.