I'm back

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by worried sick mother, Sep 19, 2017.

  1. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    I haven't been on here in a very long time, not that I didn't need to unfortunately. Hope everyone remembers me and I see there are many new people too. Update on my son is that he has been clean for 7 months other than smoking marijuana supposedly one time and he seems to think it's ok to have a beer occasionally (which I don't think is ok for him). He does seem to be able to only drink one beer like with dinner and not want more which is a shock to me.
    My son did some very bad things to support his habit so I'll explain a little. He and his girlfriend rented a house in their name and a car and were living with out of state drug dealers who paid all the bills and supplied them with drugs. These were true drug dealers who did not use drugs their selves and they had guns. I found out about this and reported to the police, one of the drug dealers was posting photos of stacks of money and guns on Facebook. I was begging the police to please do something and they were telling me that my sons house was under 24 hour surveillance and these investigations take time. I was scared too death, I cut my sons phone off and didn't allow him to come to Christmas. In February, the drug dealers accused my son and his girlfriend of stealing from them they tied my son up, held a loaded gun to his head, beat him with the gun , body slammed his girlfriend. That went on for hours. My son reached out to me begging to help them out of the situation and to go to rehab, I was in contact with the lead investigator of the drug task force the entire time while I helped my son out of the situation, I brought him and his girlfriend to my hometown and put them in a hotel room because it was late at night, had my son set up for rehab the next day. Went to the hotel the next morning and his girlfriend talked so bad to me and my son allowed it that I got mad and left. They ended up going back to that house, really robbing the drug dealer and both overdosed 30 minutes later at a gas station. My son was in the car and his girlfriend was inside the gas station bathroom, she had 94 grams of heroin in her purse and 130 fake xanax pills. My son had nothing on him because she's actually the one who stole the drugs, my son didn't even know she had it till they were in the car, they went to get some clothes. But that doesn't matter they were charged the same. That heroin ended up being straight fentanyl. I'm so thankful they didn't die because they came close. It's actually a mystery if my son actually overdosed or was just passed out but his girlfriend came very close to death. See his drug of choice is xanax and hers is heroin, he doesn't remember anything.
    Anyway I let him sit in jail for 2 weeks then I bonded him out. I have watched my son do a total transformation, he's gained about 35 pounds which he desperately needed, he doesn't get angry like he used to, he goes to celebrate recovery and even sings there, he sees a drug and alcohol counselor weekly, he stays with my mom , enjoys being with his family, I have my son back. He's actually away from the girlfriend and doesn't want her back, he actually seems very happy to be free from the drugs and that situation. He's reunited with old friends who do not use drugs that he wanted nothing to do with when he was using. I still think he needs rehab though and I've begged to send him this entire time he's been out on bond but the lawyer says it's not a possibility because he has to be available for court which he has a court date every month and it just gets put off.
    He is facing 15 years in prison for his crimes if it goes to trial, he has been offered a plea deal of 7 years which the lawyer says he has to take or face 15 years. The real drug dealers went back to their home state and were never charged with anything. I know my son has to face consequences for his wrong doings but this punishment seems too harsh. Also the investigator kept telling me that we want to help your son, get him in rehab, these out of state dealers are coming here and taking advantage of addicts. The prosecutor, the judge, the police, everyone in that town knows what my son did. They know he robbed the drug dealer and wasn't actually trafficking himself but they also know what he was doing. I think my son hit his rock bottom, I don't know why it had to be so low but I'm thankful he's alive and I try to just be positive about this situation.
    As far as myself, I've gained 15 pounds that I needed, I can eat , I can sleep and most importantly I can breath which is a blessing. I don't know if my son will ever go back to that lifestyle and drugs, I know I will always have that fear. Right now his life is in limbo waiting to see what's going to happen, I guess my life is too. This road has been so hard and heartbreaking. I don't know how I will cope when he is sentenced and actually goes to jail. I've heard many stories of people getting court ordered rehab over jail and that's my prayers for my son although the lawyer says that's not a possibility.
     
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Worried Sick

    What a scary story! I can't imagine what you've been through. Sounds truly terrifying to witness!!

    I'm so glad your son is sober now and we all wish that things didn't have to get SO BAD before they realize the mess they have made of their lives. But for some it seems to be the case. So glad he got rid of the girlfriend and reconnected with his sober friends.

    Right now I feel I'd take any reason that my son got and stayed sober. Prison or not. I do not say that lightly but I really am afraid he'll accidentally overdose and die before he gets that chance.

    Prayers that your son gets a chance at rehab. Is this his first offense? How old is your son?
     
  3. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    Yes this is my sons first offense, well he had a DUI once but this is considered first offense, he just turned 25 on Saturday. So many years wasted, my son is very intelligent and when I sent him to college is when this all started. He didn't finish his degree and stacked up some pretty hefty unnecessary student loans too. I remember people on here saying the 25 seems to be the magic age when some grow up and change, I've been counting down the years to see if that was true. I would rather my son be in prison too rather than using drugs, it's so scary. In a way I'm glad it turned out this way because I'm pretty certain it wouldn't have been the end if he had gone to rehab that day at the hotel. He was agreeing to go for the wrong reasons and we've been down that road before. Took me a long time to realize that, I blamed myself for getting mad and leaving that day at the hotel. My son even agrees now that he probably wouldn't have stopped had this not happened and then sometimes he denies ever having a problem which worries me. I've thought about your son often RN, you've provided him all the tools for recovery and you've set healthy boundaries. You should seriously look into the Issiah house here in Kentucky, they also teach them job skills , no one really desires to come to Kentucky. There's been so much on the news about these rehabs in Florida being scams so definitely do your research
     
  4. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Love and prayers to you. Such a story. No one believes what family tolerate when dealing with addiction.

    Please make sure you take care of yourself and see that you have the help and support you need.

    I join you in my own limbo between addiction, court, and rehab. It is not easy. And you have certainly been to the darkest of the dark side.

    Please stay in touch and know you are not alone.
     
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