My mother was a horror scene. I don't want to be like her, but I feel this grain of anger growing in my heart. It's like the sand in an oyster, hatred is starting to build around the irritation of the knowledge that all my maternal love has been invisible, denied and rejected. difficult child 2 is marrying a member of his "extended family". He barely knows this girl. There is ALWAYS someone who will give him shelter, who has no boundaries. Her family let him move into her bedroom (they barely know each other). He is about to inherit a pile of money from my mother's estate, which was supposed to be mine before a vulturous woman decided to re-arrange our lives. He is not yet 23y.o., this will be his second marriage (first wife assaulted me by phone, saying that he had a baby on the way, I didn't know he had a wife...). I googled his name and was sad to see that a member of this "extended family" had posted a video of him, obviously drunk or stoned, giving the finger to the camera and doing sexually suggestive things with his nipples. These people have been a terrible influence in his life. His father is one of the most honest men you could meet. His patients always came first, so I practically raised both difficult children by myself. I gave my life to this young man. Parenting was my profession. I wish he would change his name and stop dishonoring his family. He expects us to snap to it when he needs something, never lives up to his promises, we have been glorified babysitters and an ATM. He is in trouble with the police because the rules were not written for him. I guess I am trying to say that I am afraid that I am becoming my mother and this makes me so sad.