I'm having the worst time.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    writing out thank you notes. I cannot express enough my thanks for the support & love shown during my hardest days on a note card. I keep falling apart.

    I struggle for words ..... maybe it's too soon; too raw. I wish I had someone here to just sit with me while I do this task. Etiquette states I get these out on a timely basis & I want to do that.

    God, this hurts. I want this to be a bad dream & we're back in August & September of last year. Having fun at the cabin we rented & enjoying family life.
  2. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I'm sorry it is so tough. I am sure everyone would understand if you need some time. Take your time.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I, too, had a very hard time with thank you notes when my father died. It kind of felt like a door was closing... and I just wasn't ready for that. It helped me to group them... family, friends, others (doctors, clergy, etc). Strangely I found it easiest to write to family and friends. The other folks were much more difficult. It took me a full six weeks to get through it while writing a few every day or two. I don't think I could have done it in one or two sittings. {{{Hugs}}} I wish you could go back to that time as well.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Sending (((((hugs))))) your way. I would imagine that would be a very difficult task to get thru at this point. When my aunt passed, my poor uncle just couldn't manage it in his grief. A family member took on the task for him.

    Do what you can when you can and don't worry about it. People will understand.

    I wish you could go back to that happy time as well.

  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{Linda}}} Take your time, as long as you need. I'm sure most people don't even expect a thank you. I wish you could be back in that cabin also. Hugs~
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sometimes "etiquette" needs to be tossed out the window. Like, in your case, right now.

    If someone's gonna judge a person based on not receiving a thank you card after a loss like this, well...personally, I'd check them off my buddy list.

    I can't imagine anyone's going to do that. Do what you can, when you can. No one will care if their card is not "on time".
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Don't rush, there is no need. The people who sent their condolences did so from their hearts and in all honesty, don't need a thank you note now. They understand. Please be gentle with yourself. You're grieving, it's too soon for you, that's ok. -Alyssa
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am sorry, I do think most would understand.
    I honestly don't think my Grandfather In-Law ever sent his out when his wife passed. It was just too hard.
  9. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    etiquette schmetikite. phooey. people love you people care. if it is too painful I'm sure people do not wish to cause you pain or they would not have done what they did. for me once I got a 'rhythym' going thank yous helped my healing . but. every person is different. I love to write. not everyone does. be gentle with yourself & be flexible with yourself.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Linda. {{{hugs}}}

    You are being so good to write thank you notes ... so soon. Why don't you wait until the weekend and get someone to help you? Do you belong to a church? Someone there could help. Just a thought.

    It's painful, no matter what you do. I feel for you.
  11. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so sorry.

    I agree with the others, take your time. I'm with Shari, throw the etiquette out the window. It's not that important. I'm sure people will understand that this is very difficult for you. Your emotions are right at the surface right now. You need time to process what has happened. The thank you notes can wait!!!

    Take care of yourself and the kids. Your friends and family will understand.

    (((HUGS))) God bless.
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Linda, please take care of you first. The notes can wait until you feel more up to it. Sending many hugs.
  13. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I agree with the others Linda, you do not have to do this if you are not up to it. I have recieved just printed ones sent by fami;y members. I have recieved none at all. I have recieved hand written ones. Truly I have never given a second thought to how or if my condolences were formally acknowledged. -RM
  14. judi

    judi Active Member

    Agree with everyone else: take your time - if it takes a year, it takes a year.
  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I think it's too soon for you to be worry about thankyou cards. Be gentle with yourself and let it go for a bit.
  16. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I too think it is too soon. I wonder if you would consider waiting at least a little while. OR you could go with your instinct and ask a friend to sit with you and do them together. Perhaps have a standardized/almost form response. Create a personalized heading and a standard sentence or two with- a standard signature. Another thought...have them printed up (or have them printed up...and you just sign them). Compromise. All in all...it really isn't something to be concerned with. I'm sure that you will figure it out and that no one will be concerned with- any of the formalities. Totally agree with- the others...be gentle with yourself...take care of yourself.
  17. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I am so very sorry. I truly would not concern yourself with etiquette and time frames. You have to do what you feel you can, as you can.

    Sending gentle hugs.
  18. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Linda,

    I don't think you need to conern yourself with following any schedule other than what you feel comfortable and capable of doing. I wish I were closer. We could sit down at the kitchen table, write them together, then sneak out for a smoke and watch the birds feed for awhile and have a little smile.

    Leave them for awhile if they are too painful. Your feelings of loss are too raw. Hugs.

  19. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    oh sweetie, I can't see anyone having an issue with not getting a card right away. You need to heal. My friend lost her husband and basically did a facebook/email thank you in bulk, none of us mind, we know how hard it is for her to do even that.
  20. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Linda, when dealing with a loss such as yours, I would just throw ettiquette right out the window. Do it when you are ready. I don't think anyone is waiting by their mailbox. Personally, I would find the prospect of dealing thank you cards, so soon after what you've been through, absolutely horrifying. Take a break. No one is going to call Ms. Manners on a grieving widow.;)