I am so lost and scared right now. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in 3 days. My daughter who is 20 is a meth addict, and I just found out. Back story, I was a single mom our whole life. father in and out of the picture, now lives 2 blocks away and hardly talks to her. She yearns for his love but acts out because she is angry... I'm starting to question my parenting as I feel like a complete failure.. My new husband has been telling me for about 5 months that he thinks that they are tweaking (her and her boyfriend) as they were up all night all the time. I would ask my daughter and she would swear she would take a pee test. would get angry and hurt that I even accused her because she definetly is against it. So I believed her, she never lied to me before and I would get upset at my husband for thinking this. But I had to admit that she was SO skinny, like a skeleton skinny and I asked her why she was losing weight and something was wrong.. she had every excuse. End of April her and her boyfriend were in her room - and she asked to use my phone... when I got it back, I noticed that her FB was open and I looked at her messages.. One of her messages said she was clean for a day and she was "tired of tweaking"...... We were having a birthday party for my husband, the kids (young) were there, and his brother... I walked into the room with phone in hand and confronted her and her boyfriend.. they both admitted and said that they were done and that was the first day they were clean.. Locks went on the doors, gates, she was on lockdown. I told her that I wanted her to go to rehab and she made it seem like it wasn't that much. She wrote out an entire contract stating that she would go to meetings, and counselors and not hang out with the friends, if I would just let her do the meetings.... I took her to an OP rehab.. 4 hours a day for 4 days a week, group therapy 2 days a week. Drug free the entire time as they would test. She didn't like it, didn't think she needed it and wasn't going to take it.... said she wanted to do the meetings and counseling. Meanwhile, i'm not telling anybody because I feel embarrassed and like a failure, I failed my daughter.. i'm a bad mom.. what went wrong... She slept for 3 days, only getting up to eat and drink.. her color came back, her weight went up.. I was testing her every week, and she would pass. So I gaave her the car back. She got a new job working 30 hours a week.. I thought she was in the clear. It was this weekend.. she decided that after work she was going to go to her girlfriends house (mind you she broke up with the boyfriend now). I would tell her taht I dind' want her to go out. I wanted her home, and all she would say is "i'm 20, I want to act 20.. don't sketch out on me everytime I move, i'm fine! so she became very flippant this weekend.. I would text her and ask where she was and when she coming home.. I got the "later", "not sure", "on my way" but would never come. I threatened her that she is getting the car taken away and then good luck going to work.. I would get "Im sorry, I won't use your car after today".. It went on all night.. for 2 nights. Today i'm working at home (she was supposed to work in the afternoon). my doorbell is frantically ringing... It was the boyfriends mom saying "you have to come with me, they are spun out of control and at my house fighting!" I get in the car and go up there and she looked horrible.. she hadn't eaten in 3 days. she was sleeping in my car with her boyfriend.. I treatened him and all his friends. telling him to tell everyone to stay away.. After I left the boyfriends mom called the cops on him because he was freaking out. Cops came and arrested him because he had meth on him. I took my daughter home and wanted her to pee in a cup.. which she wouldnt for awhile but then decided she would but I have to turn half around... when she handed it to me, it smelled fruity.. (i've since learned to pass a drug test for meth, you add citrus to the urine sparingly and it gives a negative result. which it did, and I knew she was high.. she fell over the stairs, it was so sad. Anyway, long story short. I took her phone away.. and figuring that I can't do this alone, I called her grandparents, and yes, her father and his girlfriend. We all met at his house, where he told me it was my fault because I let her do anything... she is 20, I can't hold her back.. wanted me to admit that I was a bad mom... and that he can't help that kid becuause she don't want him to.... the grandparents were on my side and the father said "why don't you step up and be a father, this is not all on her".... census was that they would come over tomorrow afternoon, so she can sleep more... and we would all talk to her... this is why i'm scared. 1. She is my shining star who I have trusted and loved her whole life.. I feel like i'm betraying her by telling on her. 2. I'm scared if she gets mad and freaks out, she will leave, with nothing and into the arms of all the druggies.. and if she dies, nobody will care because they are in it too. 3. Im scared that she will hate me. Positives 1. I will get more help to guide me, or to help me if she leaves. 2. I will save her life possibly. 3. It will get her away from the trash in this town. 4. She will be normal.. What do I do if she wants to leave?? I can't let her go out alone.. I'm to scared. Once she wakes up and finds no phone it will be crazy. Does anybody have advice??? I'm desperate. She has to go to rehab... but whats the consequence? Thank you.