My parents' best friend, M, is in town or will be very soon. She and my mother were driving here from OH. A substantial part of me is dreading this visit. Her son is between gfgbro and I in age and for many years we were raised like siblings.
She is going to try to push me into "reconciling" with gfgbro, most likely by applying enormous amounts of guilt. I have gotten pretty good at ignoring the guilt trips, but it isn't easy. M is one person who my gfgbro would call when he was upset with me. Then she would tell my mom her version of what gfgbro said, which generally was even more dramatic than gfgbro's version. This inevitably resulted in many many attempts to make me apologize, even when I had no clue he was upset with me, or why.
I also need to figure out how to keep them from pumping Jessie. She has been so close to panic attacks and nightmares after the day he "dropped by" to celebrate her birthday with us!!! We told him not to come over, told him that we wanted NO interaction and to NOT come over, but he did anyway. He had his daughter come up to the door while he stayed out of sight, so the kids opened the door. Niece is friends with the girl next door and they thought there was a problem over there and she needed help.
husband was asleep on the couch and I was in bed with a migraine. I thought husband was awake so I kept Jess and thank you with me because thank you was shaking with fear and tears were running down his face. Gfgbro did NOT attempt to wake husband, he just walked to each of the kids' rooms and pounded on their doors while calling their names. I thought staying with the kids to help them cope was a LOT more important than going out to speak to him, esp given I thought husband was awake.
thank you just shrugs and says he doesn't have a clue, so he rarely gets interrogated, thankfully!
Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions on how to handle M and her efforts to make me make nice with gfgbro are welcome.
She is going to try to push me into "reconciling" with gfgbro, most likely by applying enormous amounts of guilt. I have gotten pretty good at ignoring the guilt trips, but it isn't easy. M is one person who my gfgbro would call when he was upset with me. Then she would tell my mom her version of what gfgbro said, which generally was even more dramatic than gfgbro's version. This inevitably resulted in many many attempts to make me apologize, even when I had no clue he was upset with me, or why.
I also need to figure out how to keep them from pumping Jessie. She has been so close to panic attacks and nightmares after the day he "dropped by" to celebrate her birthday with us!!! We told him not to come over, told him that we wanted NO interaction and to NOT come over, but he did anyway. He had his daughter come up to the door while he stayed out of sight, so the kids opened the door. Niece is friends with the girl next door and they thought there was a problem over there and she needed help.
husband was asleep on the couch and I was in bed with a migraine. I thought husband was awake so I kept Jess and thank you with me because thank you was shaking with fear and tears were running down his face. Gfgbro did NOT attempt to wake husband, he just walked to each of the kids' rooms and pounded on their doors while calling their names. I thought staying with the kids to help them cope was a LOT more important than going out to speak to him, esp given I thought husband was awake.
thank you just shrugs and says he doesn't have a clue, so he rarely gets interrogated, thankfully!
Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions on how to handle M and her efforts to make me make nice with gfgbro are welcome.
