In Black and White

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
It was one thing to be told that the man I called father was not my biological father. I did not get too emotional about that information.
It was another story when I saw it in black and white and from my "father". My brother found my father's will written a few month's before his death. We had never seen it before. In the will he left everything to our mother and in the event that she preceded him in death, his estate was to be divided equally between his two biological children and their decendents. It was to specifically exclude his non biological child and then it said my name. It went on to explain his reason for excluding me. He stated that he had provided for me up to the age of 18 and that he was no longer obligated to provide me with not 1 penny more of what rightfully belonged to his children. It went on to say that any children I had were not biologically related to him and as such were not entitled to as much as 1 cent of his estate.

I don't care about the money or stuff. It was the hate behind it. How can anyone hate someone that much. Someone who had no clue about the circumstances of their birth. To know absolutely that you were not wanted by either parent. That you were resented from the moment you were born......that really hurts.
 

Wish

Active Member
That must have been really hard to read (his will). I can feel the sting of it from the computer screen. What was your relationship like with him when he was alive? Were your parents still married when he passed? Are you the youngest or oldest? Sorry if that's too many questions :/
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Pas, I have no words. How awful for you.

I was disinherited from my mother and it is a huge rejection...you are right...you dont even think about the money. Its much bigger than that. I knew it would happen but it still stung.

Pas, she never loved me. I feel empathy for your heartache. I hate that this happened to you. I am so sorry.
 

Triedntrue

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry this happened to you. Please know that you have worth and that you are vauable to many people beyond your family. You have shown this through your posts.
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
Wish, They were still married when he passed. I am in the middle. I was ignored by both parents. I should not be surprised , but this came after a whole string of revelations that will hurt a lot of people. There is so much betrayal from those two people that I will be in therapy until the day I take my last breath.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Pasa:

I'm sorry to hear this also. I don't think your father hated you. Some people just don't love as completely as others.

It's not on you. It's on him.
:consoling:
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
PASA. I am so very sorry.

What you are describing is evil. You had nothing to do with it. You just caught it, because as you say, you were in the middle. You were scapegoated for others' crimes. You, a tiny girl who needed love and protection and care. And instead? This.

There are so many of us here on this forum with the same story. It is as if when our children go off the edge, we have no more capacity for heartache. Or the old, long suppressed heartache is resurrected.

To be healed. You are honorable and strong.
 
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Tired out

Well-Known Member
PASA, There is no way his feelings can have anything to do with you personally. It has to have something to do with either your biological father or mother. How could anyone feel that way towards a innocent party? I see you are a retired special education teacher. I know from that alone you are a very, very special person. Of all the professions in the world, special education is a loving, caring calling. Hugs sent your way. Know that you are a very special woman and the world in better for having you in it.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Pasa. There is no justification for his cruelty and targeting of you.

But his feelings were born and borne apart from and independent of you. From a time before you were who you are. His feelings were his alone.

It seems clear, as tired out says, that he had an unresolved rage toward your mother or true father, and a self hatred too. Because what real man could or would have lived such hipocrisy and deceit.

He lived it. Not you. You do not have to take this evil on. Or in.

You are truly amazing. Out of this toxicity you grew yourself to be the fine and noble person you are.
 
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New Leaf

Well-Known Member
Oh Pasa, I am just seeing this. I am so sorry for all you have been through. To come out from this a kind and gentle soul shows your strength and resilience of spirit.
It hurts to read of such cruelty. I am sorry dear sister.
Big hugs to you.
Leafy
 
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