Hi there! I am not sure if you all remember me, I was posting here a while back (like a yearish or more ago) and things continue with my addict son who now has an addict girlfriend as well. Sorry this post will be long, but I want to give a recap for anyone who doesn't remember me and an update since I haven't posted in a long time.
About 2 years ago (to the month) my 16 year old, very successful son blew out his knee playing football. Never any major issues before this. Good grades, popular in school, great girlfriend, active in extracurriculars, etc... After the knee surgery that October, he became addicted to prescription painkillers and began smoking pot and drinking heavily. We found out about some of his drug use around Thanksgiving, and tried to ground him, take his phone, all the usual routes. In January of 2014, our house was broken into and every prescription was stolen, not to mention some electronics. We knew it was him or that he was involved so we began to really get the sense of how serious his problem had become. We began looking into outpatient rehabs for him. The first week of February 2014, he was caught selling pills at school. That day, the juvenile office became involved with him and we sent him to an inpatient rehab for 60 days. He came home in April, now expelled from school. My husband (his stepdad, but has been involved with him since he was a few weeks old and dad in every way that matters) gave him a job and we tried to do a lot of family activities to keep him busy and away from bad influences. In June 2014 He was caught drinking and smoking pot again. Back to rehab for another 60 days. He came home in September. We enrolled him in the alternative school so he would be able to graduate and he got a job. Things seemed to be going better. He got a nice little girlfriend who seemed to help keep him together. In January, my in-laws were on vacation in the Bahamas. I get a call from them saying their housesitter came over to find my son and a group of his friends in the house getting high and that he had stolen their car. This was during the day when he was supposed to be at school, so the first thing I did was call the school. They proceed to tell me that he's been signing himself out at noon everyday pretty much since October. He has no car, so I'm dropping him off in the morning and he's been having someone pick him up and hanging out all day. Then showing back up at the school in time for me to pick him up. That night, I told him the lies and betrayals were too much and he is going to need to find somewhere else to live. So he's been out of my house since the end of January. But at this time I'm still talking to him on FB and he's staying with a friend and I'm hoping he will come to his senses. This goes on until the end of April when he comes over for a visit and spends the night. A few weeks later, I go to get his little sister (she's 10) tablet that I had put away since she was grounded from it. It's gone. I knew he took it but decided not to say anything because he would just lie and whatever he stole it for is long gone anyway. Now it's May. He does graduate high school by the skin of his teeth, but we have a big family get together and things seem to be going well. His 18th birthday June 15, we have everyone over again and do a big dinner and I'm thinking maybe things are going to change! Then the first weekend in July he cons his grandmother into letting him and his girlfriend come over for the night because hes sick yadda yadda (whatever the excuse was). His grandma lets him, but she leaves the next morning and lets them spend the day at her house while she's not home. She comes home to him and his girlfriend high out of their minds (like totally out of it), missing jewelry, and they tried but were not able to break into her safe but its obviously been tampered with. So husband (this is his mom) sends him a fb message since he has no phone that we know of basically saying that stealing from your grandmother and baby sister is the lowest of the low things you could do and to stay away from us and our family. Since then, I have talked to him maybe 3 times, my husband not at all. And that pretty much takes us to the current day. But I'm having terrible guilt. I haven't seen him in over 2 months, I haven't heard from him in over 10 days. I'm sick with guilt feeling like I shouldn't turn my back on him, I want to talk to him. I don't care if he lies to me, I don't care if he robs me blind, I just want to see him and talk to him. But I don't even know how to get in touch with him. and if I could get in touch with him, what could I do? He and his dad hate each other now, and I feel torn. I don't want to be the person who chooses her husband over her kid, but I feel like I am--Even though in reality, I am just choosing my mental health over his addiction. I don't really have a question or purpose for this post, I just need to vent and feel like someone else gets it, I guess.
About 2 years ago (to the month) my 16 year old, very successful son blew out his knee playing football. Never any major issues before this. Good grades, popular in school, great girlfriend, active in extracurriculars, etc... After the knee surgery that October, he became addicted to prescription painkillers and began smoking pot and drinking heavily. We found out about some of his drug use around Thanksgiving, and tried to ground him, take his phone, all the usual routes. In January of 2014, our house was broken into and every prescription was stolen, not to mention some electronics. We knew it was him or that he was involved so we began to really get the sense of how serious his problem had become. We began looking into outpatient rehabs for him. The first week of February 2014, he was caught selling pills at school. That day, the juvenile office became involved with him and we sent him to an inpatient rehab for 60 days. He came home in April, now expelled from school. My husband (his stepdad, but has been involved with him since he was a few weeks old and dad in every way that matters) gave him a job and we tried to do a lot of family activities to keep him busy and away from bad influences. In June 2014 He was caught drinking and smoking pot again. Back to rehab for another 60 days. He came home in September. We enrolled him in the alternative school so he would be able to graduate and he got a job. Things seemed to be going better. He got a nice little girlfriend who seemed to help keep him together. In January, my in-laws were on vacation in the Bahamas. I get a call from them saying their housesitter came over to find my son and a group of his friends in the house getting high and that he had stolen their car. This was during the day when he was supposed to be at school, so the first thing I did was call the school. They proceed to tell me that he's been signing himself out at noon everyday pretty much since October. He has no car, so I'm dropping him off in the morning and he's been having someone pick him up and hanging out all day. Then showing back up at the school in time for me to pick him up. That night, I told him the lies and betrayals were too much and he is going to need to find somewhere else to live. So he's been out of my house since the end of January. But at this time I'm still talking to him on FB and he's staying with a friend and I'm hoping he will come to his senses. This goes on until the end of April when he comes over for a visit and spends the night. A few weeks later, I go to get his little sister (she's 10) tablet that I had put away since she was grounded from it. It's gone. I knew he took it but decided not to say anything because he would just lie and whatever he stole it for is long gone anyway. Now it's May. He does graduate high school by the skin of his teeth, but we have a big family get together and things seem to be going well. His 18th birthday June 15, we have everyone over again and do a big dinner and I'm thinking maybe things are going to change! Then the first weekend in July he cons his grandmother into letting him and his girlfriend come over for the night because hes sick yadda yadda (whatever the excuse was). His grandma lets him, but she leaves the next morning and lets them spend the day at her house while she's not home. She comes home to him and his girlfriend high out of their minds (like totally out of it), missing jewelry, and they tried but were not able to break into her safe but its obviously been tampered with. So husband (this is his mom) sends him a fb message since he has no phone that we know of basically saying that stealing from your grandmother and baby sister is the lowest of the low things you could do and to stay away from us and our family. Since then, I have talked to him maybe 3 times, my husband not at all. And that pretty much takes us to the current day. But I'm having terrible guilt. I haven't seen him in over 2 months, I haven't heard from him in over 10 days. I'm sick with guilt feeling like I shouldn't turn my back on him, I want to talk to him. I don't care if he lies to me, I don't care if he robs me blind, I just want to see him and talk to him. But I don't even know how to get in touch with him. and if I could get in touch with him, what could I do? He and his dad hate each other now, and I feel torn. I don't want to be the person who chooses her husband over her kid, but I feel like I am--Even though in reality, I am just choosing my mental health over his addiction. I don't really have a question or purpose for this post, I just need to vent and feel like someone else gets it, I guess.
