It's over

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolanne, May 4, 2008.

  1. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    We went away for the weekend...had a nice time too. When we got back home, there was a message from the hospital and the police. We called the hospital and she'd signed herself out and disappeared. Than we called the police and they told me I am being charged with harrassment now...

    They will be here tomorrow morning to cuff me and take me to the station for formal charging. She told them that I have followed her to work, harassed her in hospital, called all her friends....they said she is staying with his family until toadboy gets out and than moving back in with him.

    We've contacted a lawyer and asked for statements from the hospital. The nurse we spoke with is livid that difficult child has done this to me.

    And I will be shamed in front of my neighbours tomorrow as they lead me out of my home in handcuffs...

    I am pretty sure my lawyer will handle it all and the charges will get dropped. After that, we are putting the house on the market and leaving the city....husband is beside himself with anger....and I am numb....

  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    OMG..........I am so so sorry. My words are not even close to being enough. Please know I am sending all the positive thoughts I can your way. You will get through will.
  3. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Is there no end to how they can hurt us? I'm sorry. Surely you'll get to make your own statement soon. How awful......
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm so sorry, Carolanne. Hold your head up high. Please keep us posted.

  5. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    We moved to another state to get away from difficult child. How sad is that.

    Fingers crossed that you can get this worked out and get on with life.

  6. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Can't you go down to the police station and turn yourself in before the officers arrive at your house? Still have the legal problem but at least not the embarrassment in front of the neighbors.
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I'm so sorry Carolanne. I agree with Sara, can't you go to the station with your attorney and just turn yourself in.
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Carolanne, Sara beat me to it. I think you can "turn yourself in" (like you did anything wrong) so the excitement is away from your house.

    I am SO very sorry that this is happening. Big hugs.
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about this development. I'm sure you are very upset.

    That being said, whatever you do, don't say a word to the police. I find it incredibly difficult to believe that they told you that they were coming tomorrow to haul you away in handcuffs. Why not today? They're bluffing. Did you debate them on the phone? They don't like it when you debate with them. They'll tell you they are going to arrest you to get you to stop. It's a very effective trump card.

    The police have her side of the story. If they show up at the house, be cooperative physically with them. Tell them that if they are prepared charge you, you will go peacefully with them and wait for your lawyer to speak for you. You have nothing to say. If they are not prepared to charge you, you don't have to say a word or go anywhere with them. Tell them that they should contact your attorney if they decide that they have enough evidence at a later date to arrest you and you will turn yourself in. If they tell you you are going into the station, go cooperatively without argument. But don't get yourself arrested for "hindering and investigation" which won't look good for your character as to what your daughter is saying about you. It will make her case look valid.

    They have to investigate before they arrest you and if they've only talked to difficult child and toadboy, they haven't investigated. I think you are letting them manipulate you into being the crazy woman your daughter says you are. You shouldn't let that happen.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Please call your lawyer tonight. see what the best course of action is, under your laws. do not speak with the police with-o your lawyer. At ALL. this is VERY important.

    I am so sorry she did this horrible thing. I think moving and not telling her where is a good step. You really have done all you can, and then a lot more for her.


  11. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Carolanne, I have no advice, but would be looking for laws on false arrest, and asking my attorney about all this.....what a mess.... Will be thinking of you and please let us know what is happening.....
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    First I want you to know my heart is breaking for you.

    You have nothing to be ashamed of except for being the best darn Mom you could be to difficult child. You hold your head high and look those officer's straight in the eye.

    And I'm with Witz, I think it's a bluff to get you to leave difficult child and toadboy alone. He's afraid you've gotten to her at the hospital and she might have second thoughts. If the cops were serious I doubt they'd be calling you up and telling you in advance. Contact your lawyer and let HIM handle it. You just stand by and be the loving innocent mother that you are.

    I am so very very sorry. This is so wrong on so many levels.

  13. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm so sorry. I agree with calling an attorney and going to the police station with your attorney.

    There's nothing you can do about your daughter and her actions. She has to see how much the toad is harming her. I just hope and pray she sees this before it is too late for her.

  14. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm at a loss but sending hugs and lots of positive thoughts your way. It's horrible that you would have to move to protect yourselves from her. I'm so sorry. Please keep us updated and let us know if there's ANYTHING we can do here.
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Adding my hugs and kind thoughts...this is just so wrong.
  16. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Oh, Carolanne, I am so sorry this has happened. Please update us as soon as you can. I am so sad for you and your family, you have tried so hard with your dtr.
  17. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am just in shock at reading this, so I can only imagine the shock and hurt that you must feel. I am so, so, sorry. Everyone here has given good advice. You have many prayers going up for you. Keep us posted as you can.
  18. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I'm completely gobbsmacked at this latest development. I'm so sorry.

    Thinking of you. (((hugs)))
  19. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I bet there are more than one or two people here who have gone through what you are facing. You're not alone.

    As far as going to the police? Say nothing - they can't fix anything and they can't "give" you anything - like dropping the charges etc.

    This stinks to high heaven of toad boy calling home collect and getting some information to your difficult child to hurt you for him being in jail. You know he thinks all that is YOUR fault. Right?

    So now you know he's a vindictive person and will harm you if he can, any way he can. Personally I think the move is a good move. You have other kids to consider. You have your safety to consider.

    I have no advice other than keep your chin up. Your daughter has made her choice and that is something she'll have to live with. Hugs to your hurting heart. Strength to get through this.

  20. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sorry that she has played this hand. I know you hoped that time and space would lesson toadboy's hold on her. Unfortunately it seems that his hold on her is stronger than her will to improve her life. It may be time to just write her off for a while.