We got back on Friday from a wonderful, peaceful vacation! It was pure bliss! I seriously did not want to leave. As soon as we got into the car to head home my headaches and nausea began again. My constant anxiety is back. I feel dizzy and tired. It's been nonstop since. I'm under a lot of stress. difficult child has been trying to contact me. I haven't been in contact with him but he's always right there in the back of my mind no matter what. It's like he's the boogeyman and I can't escape him even in my dreams. To add even more to my stress, I'll be out of a job come September 1st. My boss died in February and the company is closing. I've been looking for a job but there's not much out there. My co-worker and I were going to start a small marketing & design firm but she's backing out because she's scared. Whatever. I'm pretty angry at her because one of the reasons I've stayed here at this job after my boss died is because that was our plan when this place closed the doors. I'm super stressed at the prospect of not having a job and even more stressed about finding and starting a new job that I won't like. My goal is not to have just a job but a career doing something I love. That's easier said than done especially when there are bills to pay. I know I can go on unemployment (for the 1st time ever in my life) but it's not going to be enough to cover our bills. We can barely pay our bills now as it is and although we have a nice home we live pretty frugally. We both drive late model cars and don't splurge on extravagances often. We really do work so hard to have so little. It's weighing on me pretty heavily lately. I also have some health issues that I need to address. I need to lose some weight and start eating healthy. I need to start exercising. I need to stop being so stressed all the time. Ugggggh!!! I seriously feel like I could crawl out of my skin! There are so many things I want to change in my life and right now it all seems so overwhelming. I don't even know where to start. I feel like crying right about now. I found this saying on Facebook earlier and I printed it out but I thought I'd share it here too. I find that after reading it each time I feel a little more peaceful. Make the best of where you are... Accept the situation you find yourself in and use it as a foundation on which you can build the life you are dreaming of. Spend more time doing the things that you truly love to do, with the people you cherish. Value each moment of your life, appreciate it as a precious gift and remember that you never know how much time you have left. Don’t allow your life to be dominated by fear or worry, but instead have the courage to stand up and take a risk. Learn to be happy with what you already have, instead of making your happiness dependent on external influences, such as wealth and material things. Have compassion for others and see if you can give something back, by creating a value for others. Allow your creativity to flow, see where it leads you and never allow excuses to stand between you and the life you aspire. Anyway, sorry for the long rambling post about nothing but I really needed to vent and although it's not necessarily all about difficult child he's definitely part of my worries. Thank you all for being here when I need support. I don't know what I'd do without you all!