HeadlightsMom
Well-Known Member
My radar was up that something was "off". difficult child still working (verifiable). difficult child still being "mostly" reasonable to us (verifiable). difficult child still attending AA meetings (less often, but still verifiable). difficult child just accepted his 60-day clean and sober coin from AA proclaiming his clean life.
And then.... difficult child revealed he is smoking weed again. Le sigh....
difficult child says weed is legal in our state (and it is). I replied that alcohol is also legal. That doesn't stop it from being addictive. AA/NA are as much (or even more) about addiction behaviors as they are about the substances themselves.
I see no evidence that difficult child is doing meth/heroin again or that he's back into crime. My gut is not screaming to me that he is doing any of that now.
However...... He's being hidden/elusive (addiction behavior) about his pot use. Accepting his 60-day coin, but not telling his sponsor about the weed portion of his program. Convenient. Manipulative. And neither husband nor I are falling for it.
I do not know all of the facts and I don't even want or need to.
But 2 things are true....
1) ALL of my prior boundaries around difficult child are firmly back in place. That feels healthy and empowering.
2) Regardless of where this goes (forward, backward or a little of both), I am grateful for the good days we had and whatever good days may lie ahead. Each good day deserves recognition and celebration -- especially if they are brief. And that, also, feels healthy and empowering.
And then.... difficult child revealed he is smoking weed again. Le sigh....
difficult child says weed is legal in our state (and it is). I replied that alcohol is also legal. That doesn't stop it from being addictive. AA/NA are as much (or even more) about addiction behaviors as they are about the substances themselves.
I see no evidence that difficult child is doing meth/heroin again or that he's back into crime. My gut is not screaming to me that he is doing any of that now.
However...... He's being hidden/elusive (addiction behavior) about his pot use. Accepting his 60-day coin, but not telling his sponsor about the weed portion of his program. Convenient. Manipulative. And neither husband nor I are falling for it.
I do not know all of the facts and I don't even want or need to.
But 2 things are true....
1) ALL of my prior boundaries around difficult child are firmly back in place. That feels healthy and empowering.
2) Regardless of where this goes (forward, backward or a little of both), I am grateful for the good days we had and whatever good days may lie ahead. Each good day deserves recognition and celebration -- especially if they are brief. And that, also, feels healthy and empowering.