leaving on a jet plane.................



anyone want to come?

I am truly to the end of my rope and have contemplated just evaporating from my life. (don't worry I am not suicidle just shot to h&ll)

difficult child I is a 15 y/o bratt who is determined to fail "to hurt me", his exact words. He has been becoming physically agressive and threatened to hit me on more than one occassion. And all because we moved to a "hicky farm town" (again his words). He wants to be in a low income ghetto city and he'll be happy, he'll be dead or in juvy, but happy. I am very discouraged and I don;t get this whole "white rapper kid persona", oh and he refuses to take any medications.

difficult child II is bi-polar and tells me he hates me on a daily basis at least once, but then aplogizes and tells me he loves me. But this little guy is wearing the school system thin and i am not sure what next year will hold. Current medications of abilify, wellbutrin and lexapro don't seem to be helping much, if anything the Lexapro is that's it

And D/H is an alcoholic who comes home drinks and passes out and that is his extent of family involment, he is a passed out body who brings home a paycheck and stinks up my bed.

Sorry venting, but I am hyperventalating from stress suffocation! Time for a Xanax or two...


Active Member
Hm. difficult child 1's logic - "I'm going to fail, to hurt you"...

This is circular. He says he hates you, I presume - why? Does he ever accuse you of not caring about him? If he does, then he has to accept that if you don't care about him, then him failing will not hurt you one iota. But failing will of course hurt HIM, regardless of how you feel about it. I find it hard to believe that there are any circumstances where his failure could hurt anyone else more than it will hurt him.
If he wants to get back into the city, the fastest way there is success. Because success will give him choice.
And you can be a "white rappa kid persona" anywhere. It just sounds a bit less credible, rapping to a cow. But hey! Cows make a good practice audience. Milking can get you into a great rap rhythm...



Psycho Gorilla Dad
For your wannabe rapper, I would encourage him to put up or shut up. You might remind him that the band SlipKnot (very popular death metal band) came from a midwest hick town. Kansas, one of the biggest rock bands ever, came from the little college town of Lawrence, Kansas. There are a million examples of great musicians of all types coming from rural areas.

You either have talent or you don't. If you do, you make it - period. If you don't, it doesn't matter where you live. So the idea of having to live the urban ghetto life to have street creds is pure manure, especially for a white boy rapper (nobody will believe him anyway - look at what Eminem had to go through before he was considered legit, and look at what happened to Vanilla Ice when he was outed as a wannabe fake).

He could start a MySpace or Facebook site, video his white wannabe rapper BS, and put it up for the world to see. If he's any good, he'll get noticed. Maybe offer to help him set up such a site; might be a good diversion for a while.

I also understand about you wanting to jet. There have been times in the last six months that I swore when my kids were grown and out on their own, I was going to take a vow of silence and join some remote monastic group. That was before my wife and I started to join forces and work together, though. I often dreamed of escape, but couldn't go through with it.

I hope and pray that you find peace, grace, and strength to get through this crisis.



Thanks for the support and imput, LOL Occupational Therapist (OT) the cow jokes :O) I love cows!


New Member
I feel for you-just remember the mantra that YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON, even if you want to evaporate...good luck.