maybe a happy ending

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by endoftheline, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. endoftheline

    endoftheline New Member

    This is my first post on this forum, although you can see from the join date i contemplated posting something when i joined almost a year ago. (Please forgive me if I get all the abbreviations wrong. I am a newbie here). A year ago our son's situation seemed hopeless, hence my handle, and I was too depressed to even post anything about his situation which was, to make a long story short, a suicidal teenage boy who'd been through a long-term drug rehab, relapsed, been arrested, turned his back on therapy, not even close to graduating high school -- more a "drop-in" than a dropout -- and totally out of control with no regard for our home or the rest of our family.

    Last summer we decided to kick him out, which we did for three weeks before he begged to come back and behave. By fall, however, he was back to his bad behaviors, ditching school, getting high, not taking his anti-depressants, low-level drug dealing, coming and going as he pelased in our home, bringing in girls and making love in our bed (we found a used condom under the bed) and no regard to his physical well-being -- never bathing or changing his clothes. It was like living with a crazy person.

    Finally, as we were debating how and when to kcik him out again, he got arrested on a felony charge. His lawyer told him that he had to go to rehab or he couldn't guarantee anything when his case came up. Under that pressure he went. And what a blessing it turned out to be.

    Finally he got the diagnosis that made sense. Our son was bipolar and whne that was explained to us and to him suddenly all of his past behavior made perfect sense. The thing he did when in mania, the suicde attempts, the self-medication with drugs. The inability to finish school. The going for weeks without sleep. All that we thought was druggie behavior was explained by mental illness. (He was 19 when diagnosed).

    He moved to a therapeutic community (hideously expensive) began a different mediation, and the difference is like night and day. We have our son back. The nice, smart, talented, considerate kid we'd raised. So I write this to let other parents know that when you think there is no hope, there may be something you hadn't considered to give you some. We know we're not at the end of the story yet. He still has legal troubles hanging over his head. But we have seen the light at the end of the tunnel. It takes years sometimes. And I know some parents will never see the light for their kids. But it is possible. I just wanted to share that 'cause I know I'm not the only one whose GFF looks like Satan's spawn.

    Don't give up. Never give up.
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank you for posting, you give many people hope, your story is so much like so many others..............I wish you the very best, I hope your son can now have the life you all imagined for him.
  3. Endoftheline - Thank you for sharing your story. I have an idea that my son might be bipolar as well. He has a lot of symptoms that are difficult to explain otherwise. We are currently in a good spot with him right now and I hope that carries us through. I don't know if he has seen the error of his ways or if he is in a normal phase of bipolar illness right now. Only time will determine that.

    It gives me hope that our son can be ok too. Thank you again!
  4. endoftheline

    endoftheline New Member

    It is difficult when the kid really is bipolar. Some therapists and doctors dont believe in adolescent bipolar, some refuse to diagnose it even if they do suspect it, its easily confused by some with ADD or ADHD, and a lot of the crazy behavior can be drug-induced or even mimic "normal" teen age nuttiness.

    Its also complicated because kids often lack the vocabulary to describe their symptoms and no "nomal" in their own experience. Our son didnt think it was unusual to not sleep when he was in his manic phase. Just thought he was excited about what he happened to be doing. While driving the rest of the family nuts!

    I think you need a good long period of observation with insightful professionals, and drug free, to get a firm diagnosis. At least thats what finally worked for us.
  5. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Sometimes the right medication and and extended care can make a big difference!

    Thanks for sharing your story.