Stands, my difficult child knows that Monkeyboy is bad for her, that he is emotionally abusive to her, that he has been neglectful, is a pothead and lazy. She is still seeing him....when he blatantly blows her off to hang with his friends, she will stop, look at me and say, "Don't say anything". And I don't. I want to SCREAM out loud about what a jerk he is, how she deserves better, she's wasting her time with him...she'll never get back these best years of her life....all the fun she's missing, etc. But I keep my mouth shut. I didn't always do that. I used to say all those things to her...but now I don't. She has to figure it out on her own and in her own time. She KNOWS already. Your daughter probably also knows already.
But like nvts said, vent here....tell it here. You will get the feedback you need and not kicked in the face when your daughter chooses to defend her marriage to a jerk again. Like someone else here, I'd be a more than a little grossed and p.i.ssed if my H had a MySpace with 'girls' on other than our daughters. H chats it up with my girlfriends when they call, but then passes the phone to me. I chat it up once in a while with his friends when they call, but again, I pass the phone to him. I have one guy that I am friends with more than H is and he's my mechanic and when we run into him, he and H talk more than we do! It's nothing. But emailing with another woman, in my opinion, is not okay. So while I agree with you about your sister in law, you just have to sit back and be quiet. It stinks! And now with my easy child coming home and [likely] fanning the flames with her old boyfriend, I will have to keep my mouth zipped. It's a stupid move, but she'll be 21 and he is 23, so what the heck can I possibly say?? Haha.
It's hard being a momma.