pinevalley
Member
My difficult child has been in jail for 3 months now, and he will not be released and be able to come home for one or two more months. My h and I were on the same page about not rescuing difficult child, and we both know that our son needs to accept the consequences of his actions. However my h is dealing with this totally different from me, and this is really worrying me. My h is extremely angry and hurt about difficult child, and he is still so upset that he does not really want to have anything to do with our son. H does not want to talk to difficult child when he calls us on the phone, and h tells me that it is OK with him if difficult child stays in jail forever. I totally understand why my h would be angry, and I am still upset about all the jewelry that my difficult child stole from me to get money for drugs. But I am trying hard to separate the disease of drug addiction from my difficult child. I hate the disease, but I still love my son. My h can not separate the drug abuse from our son, and he stays hurt and angry for months. I have been going to FA meetings, and they have really helped me to understand this disease and how I can help but not enable difficult child in his recovery. My h went with me to several FA meetings, but then he refused to go to any more meetings, and said that they were a waste of time for him. My h keeps telling me how difficult child has ruined our lives, he has cost us too much of our money, and this kid will continue to ruin our lives for many years. He is very pessimistic about difficult child, and my h is so angry about how this kid had a bright future and he threw it all away. I have tried to explain that I still have hope for our difficult child, but I can not change my h's mind. I think that h is probably depressed about our difficult child, but there is nothing that i can say to help h. I feel like I am walking on eggshells around my h, because I do not want to even talk about difficult child or my h will get upset and stay upset. I don't know if there is any way that I can help my h. I don't know if anyone of this board has experienced something like this with a spouse, but I am worried about my h, and he is not making this situation with our difficult child any easier for me.
I hope that i have explained how upset my h is clearly. We have not visited difficult child in jail one time in 3 months, and my h refuses to ever visit him. My h actually told me that the biggest mistake of his life was agreeing to go ahead with the adoption of our son, which is what I wanted. Does this make sense to anyone?
I hope that i have explained how upset my h is clearly. We have not visited difficult child in jail one time in 3 months, and my h refuses to ever visit him. My h actually told me that the biggest mistake of his life was agreeing to go ahead with the adoption of our son, which is what I wanted. Does this make sense to anyone?