meowbunny
New Member
God forgive me, but I really do not like my mother. She is small-minded, mean-spirited and the most selfish person I have ever met.
After an hour's discussion of why I should go see her for Christms, I finally just gave up and hung up.
This woman demanded I give my daughter back to social services before the adoption was finalized because Marie had no manners. I heard it again post-adoption because she was lying and stealing. I heard it again when she was running away, cutting school, etc. She told me to leave my child in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) until she was 18 and then just leave her to fend for herself. Mind you, none of this was said because it was too hard on me or because my daughter would be better off elsewhere, but because (1) our family does not have children LIKE THAT and (2) people will think there is something wrong with our family.
For appearances sake, she will send my daughter a nice gift. There will no warm, loving card or words. Just the gift. My daughter quit asking about her grandmother a long time ago. She is more accepting of the rejection than I am, it seems.
This time, the conversation went along the lines of I should come back home for Christmas. If I had to bring Marie, it would be okay but she'd prefer I didn't do it. Well, I can't afford to fly us both out there and why should I if my child will only be grudgingly accepted? I did offer to fly Mom out here. She refused that idea because she'd have to spend too much time in my home with my child! Yes, she actually said that, which is when I hung up.
I really do love my mother. I think she did a good job raising me, especially after my father died. She sacrificed a lot so I could have a good life and go to the college of my choice. She has many wonderful qualities, but I truly do not like her.
I don't want Mom out of my life -- she's the only mother I have. I just want her to accept my daughter and my choices. I know this is impossible. I can't change her, but it truly hurts.
:sad:
After an hour's discussion of why I should go see her for Christms, I finally just gave up and hung up.
This woman demanded I give my daughter back to social services before the adoption was finalized because Marie had no manners. I heard it again post-adoption because she was lying and stealing. I heard it again when she was running away, cutting school, etc. She told me to leave my child in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) until she was 18 and then just leave her to fend for herself. Mind you, none of this was said because it was too hard on me or because my daughter would be better off elsewhere, but because (1) our family does not have children LIKE THAT and (2) people will think there is something wrong with our family.
For appearances sake, she will send my daughter a nice gift. There will no warm, loving card or words. Just the gift. My daughter quit asking about her grandmother a long time ago. She is more accepting of the rejection than I am, it seems.
This time, the conversation went along the lines of I should come back home for Christmas. If I had to bring Marie, it would be okay but she'd prefer I didn't do it. Well, I can't afford to fly us both out there and why should I if my child will only be grudgingly accepted? I did offer to fly Mom out here. She refused that idea because she'd have to spend too much time in my home with my child! Yes, she actually said that, which is when I hung up.
I really do love my mother. I think she did a good job raising me, especially after my father died. She sacrificed a lot so I could have a good life and go to the college of my choice. She has many wonderful qualities, but I truly do not like her.
I don't want Mom out of my life -- she's the only mother I have. I just want her to accept my daughter and my choices. I know this is impossible. I can't change her, but it truly hurts.
:sad: