Hi! Here's the deal. Both boys have Aspergers. Neither attends the local school. Our "formerly easy child" daughter is 5 going on 6 in first grade and is raising H-E- double hockey sticks. Tantrums, screaming, refusing to stop, not following directions, totally obnoxious. Neurologist feels that easy child is testing extremely bright (approx. 7.5 yrs old academically and intellectually) but extremely immature (approx. 4 yrs. old). He felt that these are learned behaviors and she's mimicing the older boys. Now, I (against the neurologists wishes) agreed to a 1 to 1 para for the Bean so that they wouldn't suspend her from school. I refused in the past because they wanted to declare her emotionally disturbed (however the school psychologist AND social worker said that they couldn't say she is emotionally disturbed because THEY feel it's a maturity thing!). My pediatrician agreed to fill out a 504 for ADHD due to her impulse control issues (the tantrums) and her refusal to follow directions. So here's what's happened so far: 1. meltdowns, tantrums etc. Started on the 1st day, removed from class 3x the first week. School called on that Friday to have me take her home. They NEVER notified me that the prior occurances happened. When I picked her up, the principal informed me that this is the 3rd occurance and that the next time it would mean a principals suspension (stay in a room with only a teacher and no interaction with the other students). After that it would be a superindendents suspension and that would be 1 week in another school at the superintendents discression and that it could be in a really nasty part of the island. 2. they would be able to work with me if I would be agree to a 1:1 para. Fine, I'll talk to husband and let her know. Went home, punished a very surprised 5 year old, called the school and let them know that I would agree to the para. "Get a letter from the Pediatrician for ADHD" and we can set up the para. 3. got the letter from the pediatrician and dropped it off at school on the following Tues. 4. meltdown on Wednesday - come get her. Now the Bean is totally confused. Punished to room. Next morning tells me that she had been told by the principal that if she stopped her tantrum, she could stay. But they called anyway. They claimed it was a "miscommunication" between the Dean of Students and the principal. (When I got there, bean was in class behaving). 5. Phone call from school. Need a 504. Go to the school and get the form. Take it to the pediatrician. Able to pick up on Monday the 17th. Delivered to school on Tues. the 18th. 6. In family therapy on the 19th at difficult child 1's school. Cell phones do not work in the building. Get a voice mail from the schools parent coordinator to call her. There's a second one after that. Call right away and leave a voice mail (I thought it was about the 504). 7. Parent coodinator calls back at 2:50 to tell me that Bean is suspended. Get letter in backpack that we had a call and discussed the potential suspension and that we collectively agreed that this was the right step. There's also a bunch of stuff that says that the IDEA attached would provide info. about protections that could be within the Beans rights due to her being in the process of the adjustments for the para (not in those words - paraphrasing). By the way, Bean said that the principal had told her that she would be suspended, but if she stopped right now, she could have 1 more chance. Bean stopped, but since I didn't return their call as quickly as they wanted, she was being suspended anyway. 8. Call the school, the only one avail is the Parent Coordinator and she never saw the letter. I asked if this is usually part of her job and she said that she's never made these calls before, but since I didn't call them back, they decided on suspension. When I described the letter, she said she'd go get a copy out of Beans file and that she'd call back. Here are my questions: 1. due process didn't seem to be followed re: the events leading up to the suspension? Am I right? 2. Can a Parent Coordinator discuss whether suspension is appropriate? 3. Should a Parent Coordinator have access to a students file? 4. When she called back, she said that IDEA does not apply because Bean is in a General Ed environment...what about the 504? 5. Is the suspension actually valid? Please understand, I have NO PROBLEM with her being put in a room devoid of access to other children to let her know that she's messing up BIG TIME. However, by making this a formal suspension, they're forcing the next step to be the superintendents suspension a certainty. Please help! I'm losing it!!! Thanks! Beth Sorry this is so long, I'll send coffee and cookies next time!!!