freakchick39
New Member
Hello,
i am a single mother , well i have a long term boyfriend but he doesnt interact much with my son because of his issues, anyway.. my son is 18. he was a phenomenal baby up till 4 when he was diagnosed with adhd. then at 9 diagnosed with biploar, and at 15 ODD. I guess my biggest problems are his attitude he is always angry and complaining and swearing under his breath , i mean even in the shower i can hear him complaining .. he stomps around , he slams doors and objects and he does this till he gets what he wants which brings me to the next problem and that is he is doing absolutely nothing with his life except looking for and smoking pot. he is very verbally abusive with me as he is always yelling at me when i try to talk to him, like im stupid, and he is ALWAYS right no matter how wrong he really is, and if i google something we are discussing simply so hes not repeating the same stuff to others and looking foolish, i want him informed.. he will get angry and tell me im doing it cause i love to prove him wrong.. i try and have tried over the years many different things and methods of behavioral modification. .. ie ) i tried getting medications for him, but hes always refused to take them and i wasnt able to shove them down his throat.. i have taken a couple parenting classes, i went to a support group so long that eventually ended up running the group myself. i did volunteer work with a parent to parent network for parents of newly diagnosed kids, for 5 years. i helped a lot of families with their children but was never able to help my own. we went to counseling and he refused to talk , ever so they always kicked him out.... and so on. i was always very active in advocating in school, but he ended up dropping out a 16 and still has not gone for his ged. he was taking classes and i was so proud cause he was actually doing it, but he stopped going. i have repeatedly used my own life as an example, as i am on SSI and dropped out of college and am completely broke and constantly struggling. i told him and asked him did he want the life we have now constantly wondering where our next meal will come from, and he says no, but yet he will do nothing to advance or even begin to advance in his life. my family back home thinks i should pack a bag for him and kick him out. i just cant bring myself to do that. he is only 18, he is special needs, and he is not as mature as he should be for an 18 year old boy.. i dont know what to do, i am crying id say at least 5 days a week, just when he gets out of bed it starts and i know it wont end tilll one of us goes to sleep. he has a puppy and is constantly screaming at her, he recently was in his room walking with her in his arms, and he fell on her and broke her leg. this is the story he tells me, and i want to and mostly do believe what he says is how it happened, i shudder to think it possible that he did it intentionally. and i did ask him a couple times telling him its okay to be open and honest with me ( as its always been) and he insists and begs me to believe he is telling the truth, but he is so mean to her, he yells at her and he has in the past smacked her ( i told him after her leg got broken if he touched her ever again id beat his butt).... anyway, this is most of the things i am going through with him, no matter how hard i try and how much love i give him he is so mean and hurtful... i dont know what to do or how to set him on the right path behaviorally..
sorry so long, please offer some comments and advice on what some of you have done for your children and what their diagnoses are?
thank you
i am a single mother , well i have a long term boyfriend but he doesnt interact much with my son because of his issues, anyway.. my son is 18. he was a phenomenal baby up till 4 when he was diagnosed with adhd. then at 9 diagnosed with biploar, and at 15 ODD. I guess my biggest problems are his attitude he is always angry and complaining and swearing under his breath , i mean even in the shower i can hear him complaining .. he stomps around , he slams doors and objects and he does this till he gets what he wants which brings me to the next problem and that is he is doing absolutely nothing with his life except looking for and smoking pot. he is very verbally abusive with me as he is always yelling at me when i try to talk to him, like im stupid, and he is ALWAYS right no matter how wrong he really is, and if i google something we are discussing simply so hes not repeating the same stuff to others and looking foolish, i want him informed.. he will get angry and tell me im doing it cause i love to prove him wrong.. i try and have tried over the years many different things and methods of behavioral modification. .. ie ) i tried getting medications for him, but hes always refused to take them and i wasnt able to shove them down his throat.. i have taken a couple parenting classes, i went to a support group so long that eventually ended up running the group myself. i did volunteer work with a parent to parent network for parents of newly diagnosed kids, for 5 years. i helped a lot of families with their children but was never able to help my own. we went to counseling and he refused to talk , ever so they always kicked him out.... and so on. i was always very active in advocating in school, but he ended up dropping out a 16 and still has not gone for his ged. he was taking classes and i was so proud cause he was actually doing it, but he stopped going. i have repeatedly used my own life as an example, as i am on SSI and dropped out of college and am completely broke and constantly struggling. i told him and asked him did he want the life we have now constantly wondering where our next meal will come from, and he says no, but yet he will do nothing to advance or even begin to advance in his life. my family back home thinks i should pack a bag for him and kick him out. i just cant bring myself to do that. he is only 18, he is special needs, and he is not as mature as he should be for an 18 year old boy.. i dont know what to do, i am crying id say at least 5 days a week, just when he gets out of bed it starts and i know it wont end tilll one of us goes to sleep. he has a puppy and is constantly screaming at her, he recently was in his room walking with her in his arms, and he fell on her and broke her leg. this is the story he tells me, and i want to and mostly do believe what he says is how it happened, i shudder to think it possible that he did it intentionally. and i did ask him a couple times telling him its okay to be open and honest with me ( as its always been) and he insists and begs me to believe he is telling the truth, but he is so mean to her, he yells at her and he has in the past smacked her ( i told him after her leg got broken if he touched her ever again id beat his butt).... anyway, this is most of the things i am going through with him, no matter how hard i try and how much love i give him he is so mean and hurtful... i dont know what to do or how to set him on the right path behaviorally..
sorry so long, please offer some comments and advice on what some of you have done for your children and what their diagnoses are?
thank you