Not what a PP would think was amazing but I do

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Jan 26, 2010.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Cory had a bad thing happen to him last night. Ok, he didnt have it happen to him, he let it happen. He basically caused it to happen.

    He went out to play cards with some friends even though he really didnt want to go because he had Keyana but Mandy pushed him to go so she could have "girl" time with Keyana. Blah. So Cory ended up losing money he didnt have to lose.

    He came over here a few minutes ago just despondent. He was pacing my floor, telling me he felt like a failure and like he just had to do "something stupid" but that he really didnt want to. He was trying so hard to be legal but he felt like going out and robbing someone or blah blah blah.

    BUT....he said instead of acting on those impulses, he said he drove straight over to my house because he said he knew if he could just see me he knew that he would be able to calm down and remember that he wasnt that stupid boy anymore. He really didnt want to do anything dumb. He was just panicking in the face of some really big bills. He has a $300 power bill, all his other bills and Mandy seems to feel her money is hers to do with alone.

    I am so glad he made the right decision to come talk to me. He just hugged me and hugged me. He is still such a little boy at times. He doesnt want to be bad.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Excellent. He used his tools(his warrior mom) to do the right thing. Hopefully he knows he doesn't have money to gamble with. Certainly, taking something that belongs to others isn't the right way to go. He will end up in jail and it is the wrong thing to do.

    I'll keep my fingers crossed that he will think it through and work on a budget with his wife that relieves them of the pressure of never having enough.
    They still need their mom's for a longer period time than a easy child.
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Amen to that.

    I'm proud of Cory, Janet. You give him a big hug from his Auntie Suz, too.

  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Glad he sought out his Mom instead of acting on his impulses. Hopefully he will learn from this and just move on. If they are living together then they should both be contributing to the givens, IE rent utilities and food. I understand that Mandy might want to keep her money seperate from Cory's given his history. But then they should decide what bills each should be responsible for. My sister has lived this way withher husband for over 30 years because he was not good with money. They keep their money seperate but each has their responsibilities. It works fo them. RM
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh he is kicking himself only too well.

    I understand his panicky feelings when the world feels like it is crashing in on him because I get those same feelings. I think the word for it is catastrophizing. Everything looks bleak and like the worst case scenario is going to come to pass right this very second.

    Tony doesnt understand that point of view because he is more of a laid back guy who figures if he does his best then everything will work out in the end because his best is all he can do. No one can get more out of him than he can give. He really irks me at times because I will be sitting there with all these bills and Im staring at bills vs income and thinking...omgosh....there is just no way! He just goes on and tells me that will work out, dont worry.

    Cory is so much more like me and its more intense with him feeling like he has to be the sole provider. I do think he would do well for me to help him set up a budget. I think I will ask him if that would be a help for him.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    That is *quote-worthy*. What a great philosophy!

  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    OH WOW.
    I could have written this about Matt.
    They don't want to be bad. They really, really don't.
    Hugs to you and to Cory.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You mean there's hope for my difficult child??

    Give Cory a pat on the back from his board aunties!! He did the right thing after realizing he made a mistake- at that point he did the best anyone could hope for.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Give Cory a huge hug from me too! So proud of our boy!! :D

    He doesn't want to make this a habit, but odds are he can call the utilities and make arrangments to pay so he doesn't have to fork over all the money at once, especially since he doesn't have it. They've usually been good about working with husband and I most of the time when our funds just won't stretch that far. :)
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I keep thinking about this power bill and it really isnt making much sense to me. His bills have been steady at this place at right around 75 to 120. 120 was in the summer running AC. 75 was last month with heat. Now it jumps to 320? Something is wrong. Either something has gone wrong with the wiring at the trailer which the only thing I can think of would be the furnace or the stove and the furnace is new...or...someone has been stealing his power by drop cord. Or...somehow they read the meter wrong.

    No way his power could have jumped up to more than MY power bill is. He is in a single wide and he doesnt even have a clothes dryer or computers. And only one tv and no microwave!
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I has been a cold month but I think I would look into it . Is there a possibility it is a bill for two months maybe he missed a payment somewhere? I went out to my vacation place for two weeks right after Christmas and I just got my bill for over a hundred. In the summer with the air on full blast I never went over 80 dollars. I hope he and you can figure this out. -RM
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The power company around here will send an employee to audit the usage.
    It does sound like there is a problem for sure. Your son has made such progress this year. That's great. DDD