I'm sorry if this is long winded, but I need to vent while possibly obtaining help. This is about my brother. I'm not a parent. But, I find that my parents are in more of a predicament than me.
My brother during high school had some anxiety problems and couldn't finish normally. My mother went out of her way to make sure he got a diploma. I was left in the dark back then, so I don't know what all she did. But, my brother couldn't find work because of his anxiety and refused to talk to therapists or get help. My father quit his really well-paying job to buy a business and run it with my brother so my brother would have a job.
Four years later, and I'm seeking some help for my anxiety. My brother sees how well I'm doing and decides to go to the doctor, who puts him on Paxil. He buys a new car and then decides to move out. He never had enough money to do this, but despite us telling him that, he still did it. He made some friends and spent all his money on them. He bought everything. Then, he decided to just stop showing up to work with my father, leaving my father in the dust. This went on for months. I had just lost my job, so I filled in for him. Eventually, my brother decided to stop working at my dad's business (in quite possibly the worst way anyone could quit a job). Now I'm working in his stead.
While on his own, he kept making charges on the business credit card he still had. He said he used it by mistake, but continual charges showed that wasn't the case. To shorten the story up, we eventually took the card from him and the business keys from him. He claimed he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Months later, he shows up to work (dad's business) when I'm the only one there and says he needs to print a check to himself because that's what my parents told him to do. He had been having some financial troubles, and I knew my parents were helping him financially at the time, so I didn't question it. Come to find out, he not only wasn't told to do that, but he took numerous checks, forged my dad's signature and cashed it in to himself. He has also stolen from me. Gone into my room and taken cash.
We've talked to him time and again stating that if he needs help, ASK don't steal, but he keeps doing it. We eventually found out that he is also addicted to poppy seeds and was about to go through withdrawal of it, so my mom let him stay at home in the basement while he dealt with it. While we were in the back yard, my brother went to my mom's purse and stole her credit card and has charged it since he's left.
He lies constantly. His new car has been repossessed twice. My parents have put thousands of dollars into that car in addition to having to pay off the thousands of charges my brother has made. We've been trying to set up a date and time with him to go get the car as that's the cheapest option. Letting it go is still more expensive. He says he'll go, but he lies and never shows up. He wastes our time constantly. He never talks to us. The few times we get ahold of him is through texts. He texts weird things about how he's sorry, feels bad but doesn't want to lose the friends he's made. In addition to that, his new "friends" have helped him become addicted to cigarettes too.
It just never ends. On top of even that, my dad's dad is dying of congestive heart failure. My dad's mom is stressed out about her husband dying and how she's going to have to take care of herself, so my dad has to go over to their house constantly to pay bills, help move stuff around. For god's sake, his father is dying and his own son couldn't care less! How sick is that?! To see my dad so stressed out is sickening. To see my mother constantly cry hurts. They don't deserve this. They're excellent parents.
Anyway, I texted my brother that if he ever stole from me again, I'd call the cops. I have no problem having him sit in jail. My parents, on the other hand, do. They're afraid of what's going to happen to him if they don't help him. No matter what, they're worried about him, constantly. They don't want to lose touch with him, so calling the cops will just send him in a rage. But shoveling him money isn't helping, and they realize that too. They just don't want him living on the street and possibly getting into worse things. They just don't know what to do, and I don't know what to tell them. They've scheduled doctors appointments and talked to my brother about going. He says he'll go, but like always, it's a lie, and he never shows up.
I just don't know what options my parents have. What can they do? Their minds are just wrecked by this, constantly. I try my best to keep things upbeat, crack a joke here and there, do extra things around the house to help make life a little easier on them, but at the end of the day, they love their son and don't want to lose him. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. I again apologize for the length. It definitely could be much longer, unfortunately.
My brother during high school had some anxiety problems and couldn't finish normally. My mother went out of her way to make sure he got a diploma. I was left in the dark back then, so I don't know what all she did. But, my brother couldn't find work because of his anxiety and refused to talk to therapists or get help. My father quit his really well-paying job to buy a business and run it with my brother so my brother would have a job.
Four years later, and I'm seeking some help for my anxiety. My brother sees how well I'm doing and decides to go to the doctor, who puts him on Paxil. He buys a new car and then decides to move out. He never had enough money to do this, but despite us telling him that, he still did it. He made some friends and spent all his money on them. He bought everything. Then, he decided to just stop showing up to work with my father, leaving my father in the dust. This went on for months. I had just lost my job, so I filled in for him. Eventually, my brother decided to stop working at my dad's business (in quite possibly the worst way anyone could quit a job). Now I'm working in his stead.
While on his own, he kept making charges on the business credit card he still had. He said he used it by mistake, but continual charges showed that wasn't the case. To shorten the story up, we eventually took the card from him and the business keys from him. He claimed he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Months later, he shows up to work (dad's business) when I'm the only one there and says he needs to print a check to himself because that's what my parents told him to do. He had been having some financial troubles, and I knew my parents were helping him financially at the time, so I didn't question it. Come to find out, he not only wasn't told to do that, but he took numerous checks, forged my dad's signature and cashed it in to himself. He has also stolen from me. Gone into my room and taken cash.
We've talked to him time and again stating that if he needs help, ASK don't steal, but he keeps doing it. We eventually found out that he is also addicted to poppy seeds and was about to go through withdrawal of it, so my mom let him stay at home in the basement while he dealt with it. While we were in the back yard, my brother went to my mom's purse and stole her credit card and has charged it since he's left.
He lies constantly. His new car has been repossessed twice. My parents have put thousands of dollars into that car in addition to having to pay off the thousands of charges my brother has made. We've been trying to set up a date and time with him to go get the car as that's the cheapest option. Letting it go is still more expensive. He says he'll go, but he lies and never shows up. He wastes our time constantly. He never talks to us. The few times we get ahold of him is through texts. He texts weird things about how he's sorry, feels bad but doesn't want to lose the friends he's made. In addition to that, his new "friends" have helped him become addicted to cigarettes too.
It just never ends. On top of even that, my dad's dad is dying of congestive heart failure. My dad's mom is stressed out about her husband dying and how she's going to have to take care of herself, so my dad has to go over to their house constantly to pay bills, help move stuff around. For god's sake, his father is dying and his own son couldn't care less! How sick is that?! To see my dad so stressed out is sickening. To see my mother constantly cry hurts. They don't deserve this. They're excellent parents.
Anyway, I texted my brother that if he ever stole from me again, I'd call the cops. I have no problem having him sit in jail. My parents, on the other hand, do. They're afraid of what's going to happen to him if they don't help him. No matter what, they're worried about him, constantly. They don't want to lose touch with him, so calling the cops will just send him in a rage. But shoveling him money isn't helping, and they realize that too. They just don't want him living on the street and possibly getting into worse things. They just don't know what to do, and I don't know what to tell them. They've scheduled doctors appointments and talked to my brother about going. He says he'll go, but like always, it's a lie, and he never shows up.
I just don't know what options my parents have. What can they do? Their minds are just wrecked by this, constantly. I try my best to keep things upbeat, crack a joke here and there, do extra things around the house to help make life a little easier on them, but at the end of the day, they love their son and don't want to lose him. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. I again apologize for the length. It definitely could be much longer, unfortunately.