New Member
I am disabled and have a 23 year old daughter that yells at me and tries to sabotage everything I do to help myself. She brought heroine into my life and would come over everyday smoking it, and offering it to me . I guess with the amount of depression going on I gave in in hopes of making our relationship better .That was a big mistake. She just wanted all the money I get to feed her affection.
I've gotten my self completely off of it twice and every time I do she come over and will start talking about how much she has or will start smoking it around me ,even after I've asked her not to. I've been doing the CBT on my own to trying help myself out of my depression and she will sit here and talk as loud as she can say oh sorry I will get out of the room and doesn't. Its like she wants to be sure to sabotage everything I do to trying get better. Please someone out three help me I dont have any family, or friends I don't know who or where to turn to!


Well-Known Member
tortuga. i am sorry.

i would try to have no contact with her. For starters I would try to get to narcotics anomymous. If you are able, every day.

she is doing a very bad thing but it is not her responsibility that you use drugs. What she is doing is what addicts do. She cannot be permitted near you. i am not saying to absolve her. i am saying that the change will come from you. baby steps. support and boundaries.

You took a big, big step to post here. brave and hopeful.

We are the ones who very often consent to our own destruction. especially at the hands of our children. you deserve safety, security and peace. The first thing is support. And accepting that you and your life are worth protecting. you have already demonstrated to yourself how very strong you are.

i hope you keep posting. I do not mean to be harsh here. But you are the one who answers the phone and opens the door. this is something we can learn to stop.. it is a process. i for one have had a very hard time with boundaries. i am still struggling too.

you are worth this and a million times more.

Almost all of us were in the same place. Each of us is learning these same skills. You are not alone.
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Well-Known Member
You are not alone anymore.

Please...take out a restrainig order on your daughter. She is abusing you. It is hard to stay clean with the drug being thrown in your face. She is being cruel. If you are a senior citizen contact help for elder abuse. You can probably get the right number by calling the closest center for domestic abuse. There is one near every town. You can actually call 2-1-1 to get these numbers.

Dont give your daughter another dime. Dont answer your phone if it is her. Never let her in. Call the cops if she wont go away.

Maybe call a church or a few of them to see if the community can offer help and friendship and counseling.
Churches tend to be sympathetic to people who need support shut ins. If one church is not helpful try another. Each community is different.

Do not give up on yourself. You deserve better than that. Make a resolution TODAY to call around to find support and help.

Let us be your friends for now :)


Active Member
You first.

Stay clean.

Whatever it takes, even if it means distancing yourself. Then you may be able to judge her manipulation for what it is. I'm sorry that she has gone "there," but their cleverness, drug-seeking and shame avoidance make them experts at exploiting weaknesses.

I have many times looked back at my efforts and thought that maybe I was fighting dirty. Guilt tripping, catastrophizing etc. The moral high ground is a tough place to climb to, but it's essential in this relationship and in the war for their souls.