Oh boy! What a morning! difficult child had his treatment team meeting yesterday so I called the group home to ask how it went. I was immediately informed that as of this morning difficult child has decided to sign himself out of the home, stop all medications, and go live at the homeless shelter. WHAT??? When I called, difficult child was in the process of packing and waiting for the police to get there and give him a ride to the shelter. That was totally NOT what I was expecting to hear! I asked to speak to difficult child and asked why he was doing this. He told me that he hates it there and being homeless would be better. He then proceeded to hang up on me. I called back, spoke to the director (actually sobbed to the director) and he told me to sit tight and that hopefully when the police got there they could talk difficult child out of going. Anyway, a short while later difficult child called and said he was staying at the group home but that he has nothing to live for if he can't come home. "Why bother" is his attitude. His psychiatrist has been after him to start a mood stabilizer but he absolutely 100% refuses. They can't force him because he's 18. I asked him why he's not willing to give it a try and he said because he doesn't want to and it won't help anyway! Wth?? He won't know if it works or not if he doesn't try!! It's so hard with him because even though he's 18 he has the mentality of maybe a 13 year old. I just don't know how to get through to him and sadly no one else can get through to him either! So now here we are at an absolute stalemate. My husband and I REFUSE to allow difficult child to set foot in our house if he's not stable and he refuses to try to get better because we won't let him come home. I am so tired, so worn out, so done with this emotional roller coaster! I was doing such a good job at detaching for a while but when things like this happen it drags me right back in! I am at work and was a sobbing mess earlier when I found out he was leaving. I'm so embarrassed that I actually cried like that here at work. Fortunately my boss and co-worker are amazing and they understand completely but I'm still really bothered by it.