settling up of estate!!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by peg2, Feb 25, 2012.

  1. peg2

    peg2 Member

    I know a lot of you have been through this with the settling up of wills,etc. It's not about money but rather an issue of control. My mom died in July, my brother is the executor, he and I don't speak due to his control issues, he also doesn't speak to my other brother. How long does it take to settle an estate? I feel we should have gotten a letter indicating what money was spent for what(my mom was in assisted living and it was extremely expensive). I just wonder how long all this should take. I want it settled and over with.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    It takes as long as the executor wants it to take. That's the sad part. As an heir, you have the right to an accounting of things to date any time you want one. They are obligated to provide that to anyone that is heir to the money. In our case, we only had to wait a few months for all insurances and bills as well as retirement accounts to come in. Then all bills have to be paid. My mom was an heir to her uncle's estate and had to wait over 6 months because the executor kept "finding" things to "wait"to come in. Not sure if that helps. That's just the extent of my personal knowledge. Good luck.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Based on my experience I think TeDo is right. The Executor sets the time table. on the other hand I think that the laws vary from state to state. In my State I believe there is a time table for reporting to the Court on progress. The only way I would know how to find out would be to call the Attorney's office and ask if there is an estimated time for the Estate closure. Of coure, I would assume your brother would be told that an inquiry call was received from you...something that you might want to avoid.

    I've served as the Executor twice and even though there was limited money involved I was surprised how complicated the process seemed to be. There was some "ugliness" in the family over distribution of personal items. That caught me by surprise! DDD
  4. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    My H is an estate attorney. My suggestion to you is that you check at the courthouse to see what has been filed. In my state, documents are supposed to be sent to certain people. You might also want to consult an estate attorney in your area who can check the court file and contact your brother's lawyer to see what the status is. It can be complicated depending on how much stuff, money, etc. BUT you need to stay on top of it. Since you and your bro are not close, an intermediary would be useful. There are time lines but they differ in each state.
  5. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I'm the executor for my father's estate and even though it's a simple estate under $50,000 it's approaching one year and it's still not settled. Part of that is probably because my brother and I do get along extremely well and agreed to have him take care of selling some estate items since he lived nearby and I live out of state. If I would have handled it on my own I would have put those items on consignment or have flown back to take care of it.

    There has been no ugliness, even though the estate has involved my brother, myself, and my dad's fifth wife who he was separated from at the time. I agree checking the courthouse and consulting an attorney, especially if a sizable sum could be involved. Even though we were dealing with small sum (estatewise) we still consulted an attorney up front, both because of the spouse that we'd never met, and the fact he did his will with a computer program.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    If you and other bro don't talk to bro who is executor, then you need to both hire an attorney who will speak to him for you.

    When husband passed, I had to have bank accounts closed, house title changed, car titles changed, ect. Even though there was no will, which left me as the sole inheritor, it took a few months to get things sorted out.

    If there is a will, I was always under the impression it was read fairly soon upon death. But I dunno. mother in law had a will.....but it was never read. Circumstances made it so that everyone had already been given what she wanted them to have long before she passed and there was no money due to paying the nursing home. brother in law used her life insurance policy to pay any outstanding bills she had.

    A lawyer will be able to answer your questions and protect whatever interests you have. It was well worth the 500.00 I paid.
  7. peg2

    peg2 Member

    thanks to all who answered, very good suggestions. I hate to have to pursue it, and most of the money probably went to the assisted living facility anyway, that's not the point. She paid about $7000.00 per month, so do the math. My brother is out to screw us and he screwed over my difficult child too and I won't go into that, as I have a restraining order against my difficult child. But, he didn't have the right to do him dirty, but my difficult child did attend the funeral. Anyway, I might wait until the end of March because sometimes it does take awhile, but then I will consult with an attorney.
  8. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    It's not uncommon for it to take a year.
    I think you do have a right to an accounting of bills paid, etc. and you can often follow many of the transactions/happenings through the court house on-line.
  9. peg2

    peg2 Member

    i just looked at the website for my county's Surrogate's office and for $10.00 I can request the documents available in the file on her estate. I know nothing about this kind of thing, but can tell you tons about bi-polar children!!!!!! Anyway, does anyone think that would be a good idea? but I might wait another month of two because I do realize it can take awhile.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I don't know anything about estates, but I don't remember you posting about your Moms passing. Please accept my sincerest sympathies for your loss - even if they are rather belated. With regards to the other issues know you are in our thoughts, and seems like you have been given some wonderful advice by those in the know.

    Hugs & Love
  11. peg2

    peg2 Member

    I didn't post because I knew it was going to be difficult due to me not having seen difficult child for 1 1/2 yrs. at that point, due to me having the restraining order against him. Of course, my oldest told him about it and he was there but I was anxious during the viewing and funeral because I hadn't seen him. It was too much at once.............The hardest part of my life is dealing with my son, it has consumed me and is not getting any better. Thanks for the thoughts.
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Wow - You are one tough lady! I'm sorry we couldn't have been a part of that to support you. Glad we can be now! Sounds like you could use a sister or twelve! :flirtysmile3: