So Son had shocking big setback in court and is in serious despair and i really want to offer emotional support. I am drained and frustrated after trying. Here is a synopsis of our morning chat. Not verbatim. And it was much longer. Me: Call your lawyer. He does work for you. Him: what am I supposed to say? It can get worse. He can get mad at me bothering him. He can drop me! Me: Oh, okay. Well, thats up to you. Him: (erupting) stop it!!! Dont ever say that again! I have told you this! You dont listen! For five years I have been tellng you what to say and what NOT to say! The things that help me and dont. You either dont listen or dont learn! Me: what did I say wrong??? Him: You said its up to me. I always tell you not to say things like that. I KNOW its up to me. Duh! Stop saying it. I hate that, Captain Obvious (yes, he used this). You are making it worse! I dont want to talk to you if you are going to be a wussy snowflake! (Insults continue) I normally hang up before this, but he was truly traumatized. But I could tell I wasnt helping him. He was getting more agitated. Before I ended the call he got out that I was taking all his support from him (me...I am all his support) and that without me he would have to do this himself. I am useless to him. Thanks a lot for nothing. Before I had a chance to say "I love you and hope you calm down to talk later" he got in one last dig. See, this weekend i am driving to Chicago for our family Thanksgiving with Princess and granddaughter's family. "Go visit your other more important family while I am all alone! Have fun while I suffer alone!" I should have just ended the call, but this got to me and frustrated me and reminded me WHY he is not doing better under this adversity. After five years of court. I said it, knowing he wouldnt like it. "You WON'T join us. You can. It is your choice to be alone. You dont have to be." That enraged him. He swore and hung up before I could. To him, he cant. Its not a choice. He has not driven to Chicago to see anyone since moving to St. Louis six years ago. And he wont take a train. So he is alone...it is his choice. Although he doesnt consider it sn option. I dont get why its not a choice to him. Back to my thoughts. Seriously, he has all these things he doesnt want me to say beause he calls them "doom and gloom." But I dont know what he thinks is NOT gloom and doom. I am not sure what he considers gloom and doom either! As always, he will ruminate and not try to help himself. I am driving out to Chicago with husband, Sonic, Jumper, her boyfriend and the dogs in a few hours. I feel sad for Bart, that he is alone and wont drive up to join us. It isnt that long a drive. Four/five hours. His entire family will be there. Princess cant stand him, but he would have a chance with Sonic and Jumper and his father lives near Princess. Princess wouldnt ban him from her house. Bart truly has a good reason to be upset. But he wont take any action to either get therapy for himself (says only a PSYCHOLOGIST can help him, not a plain therapist) and that he cant afford one, and he wont go to a self help group, and he wont even demand a call from his lawyer. I am Mom. I want to help. But I dont know what helps. I give up. I really feel horrible for grandson, but I have no control over any of this. I am afraid Bart will call while I am trying to enjoy our holiday with the others. I wont answer if he does, but....I hope he doesnt. Thanks for listening. I kow this may seem petty to dome of you facing bigger issues. I am sorry to complain. I am trying hard to give this to God.