Given all the events, the 'virtual crossing of the line' (that you know is there, but just not where it is until it is crossed).....it's time to let go. But, how? Do you put them out there and just have no contact? Or do you put them out there and have minimal contact? Limit to texting only? Did you take their phone away (if you were providing a cell)? Did you help with anything else? Did anyone's difficult child end up in jail due to you calling? Do they just go, or do they wreak havoc? Was there ever a moment where they resigned themselves to your decision? I don't want to do anything that makes this ugly, but I also don't want to get in a position where difficult child can wear me down, causing me to feel sorry for him, or feel guilty, or "I'll help just one more time". I want to do what's best for ME. It's taken a lot of reading and a lot of praying to come to realize what most of you ALREADY realize. I have to make decisions and choices that are in MY best interest. I've not (upon thoughtful consideration) ever done that. It's ALWAYS been about my CHILDREN first. I'm just trying to figure out what to expect. I'm one for having 'plans' and this is certainly a situation for having one. I don't want to worry for no reason- which only keeps me ill. When they threaten to tear up something, for example, but have never done it- does that mean that most likely they won't? Even after detaching? When they threaten to commit suicide, do I start calling police for it 'just in case' he means it 'this time' or do I say 'ok' and move on? That sounds cold- but I know that I'm guilty of allowing him to get me engaged in his over the top drama and he goes between making threats to threatening suicide to becoming child like and playing THAT role - I go from being a "bad mother, what kind of mother ARE you?" to "all I need is some help. I'm trying to get a job, and just need some gas money" /sigh.