I was just reading how liberating and healing dance is
Interesting that you traced the vengeance thread as a result of bad therapy.....
I can almost always see that there was a lesson to be learned
I was waiting in the plane and it occurred to me that I was like that plane, tethered to the earth, engine running, ready to fly, but the chains that bound me would not let go......................That image is very clear to me and I just thought that now, you and I are undoing those cables, motoring down the runway about to be flying.....FREE.
I have heard dance described as moving meditation, Recovering. I love any kind of dancing. My husband? Not at all. I wish he would let go a little. Maybe that will be a part of breaking out of this trapped parent thing? :O)
I had always loved ballet. I took classes as an adult. This made me very strong. Studying dance has to do with relearning the way our muscles hold energy, with relearning the way we interact with the substance beneath our feet, with being conscious of ourselves within the space we occupy. As that changes, our self image changes. Having challenged ourselves at so many levels to have achieved whatever expertise we achieve, we have that spiritual strength to fall back on in other areas of our lives.
When we moved out of the city, I could not find an adult ballet class I enjoyed, but I was so fortunate to tumble into martial arts through the strangest series of coincidences imaginable, Recovering.
Through the strangest series of coincidences imaginable.
:O)
Martial arts, like dance, teaches spiritual truths through training the body. If you have never taken a martial arts class, Recovering? Begin with Tai Chi. Like everything in life, Tai Chi can be learned at a surface level, or at a depth that has no bottom. I am only beginning to understand these things about the martial arts. I have been involved with them for something like ten years.
****************
It wasn't bad therapy, Recovering. That therapist was amazing. Things took a wrong turn somewhere and everything got all confused. Par for the course, I blamed myself. Blah, blah, blah. But here is the interesting thing, Recovering. Through what happened with difficult child daughter, I was softened up enough, desperate enough, to go looking to heal, to change whatever it was that was wrong with me and was affecting my child. After some truly incredible therapy, the strangenesses happened, and BOOM, I was blasted from one probable path to another.
It was such a dark, horrible time, Recovering.
But looking back on it now? I see that, just as with these last horrible experiences, I was given every tool to survive it before the lesson hit. We are meant to survive it, Recovering. There are too many coincidences for it to be otherwise.
So, I am feeling pretty grateful this morning. Though I do acknowledge that I might not have survived it in one piece. It was close, actually. But, like I always say...I lived. So much beautiful poetry surrounds those lessons, Recovering! I am still going to find some of it and post it here for you, just for the joy of sharing it. Here is the beginning of the one written as I began to heal:
When the moon be full and the westwind, blown
When the pheonix be reborn and the falcon, flown
When the tiles of that mosaic first composed in blood on stone
Fall seamlessly together, revealing no face but her own....
Then witch and Child, awakened
repossess the cauldron and claim the loom
Reweaving tales first told in ancient blood
on stone.
We will see whether I have the courage to share this, Recovering! My poetry is beautiful to me, but not very pretty.
*********
I had an unusual dream about a plane once, Recovering. It was during the thick of those earlier lessons in healing. Just lately, I dreamed I was flying
without a plane. Flying so fast in the dark, hitting the ground hard, so hard.
But in the dream, I lived.
And I remembered that dream so many times, going through these past few weeks. I was scared, it was dark, but I lived.
The Joel Osteen materials helped so much, too.
***************
Have you read
The Artist's Way at Work: Riding the Dragon, Recovering? I wanted to send you information about the dragon scroll used in that book. It is my favorite work of art, filled with incredible meaning. But do you know that I could not find a thing about it online, though I know it is there, because I have looked it up, before.
www.artistswayatwork.com/aw.html
I lent my copy to someone. It was never returned. It must be time for me to read it again, too. Here is a quote from the book. It is listed on the site, too.
"Reminding one another of the dream that each aspires to may be enough for us to set each other free."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Have such a nice day, Recovering.
Cedar