Some difficult child Issues after years of stability

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by LittleDudesMom, Nov 11, 2013.

  1. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    For those of you who have only been around a few years, I first came here when my difficult child was 7 (he's 18 now). He was in a very, very dark place. After many years of hard work, docs, supportive schools, medications in and out, and more, he's done great through middle and high school.

    Here we are in the fall of his senior year and he's been exhibiting some issues that had me wondering what was up. He and I were at the office together last week. He had finished his day of work and was waiting for me and was sitting on the floor across from my office leaning up against the wall. We were talking about what's been going on lately with him and he broke down in tears.

    *Not just a few tears but a major cry feast. Tears pouring down. He said he was afraid he was getting depressed again like he did when he was little. He's been sleeping a ton lately, has been down on himself, lost a little drive at school, and been quick to temper and quick to cool. Most of these issues were the same ones he had years ago.

    He asked to go to the doctor. On the upside, I'm trying to ward off my fearful memories of the "dark years" with the positive aspects of this -- he's older and can vocalize more about what is going on and he is asking to see the doctor. He's a really deep thinker and I'm thinking there might be some senior anxiety and wondering about "what's next" in the mix.

    Please keep difficult child in your thoughts.


  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon-Definitely keeping difficult child in my thoughts and prayers. I do really love that he opened up to you and asked to go to the doctor. I think that is huge. I think senior year can be very difficult for some kiddos. Many know what they want but others don't and that can be scary. I'm praying this is just a blip and that things improve soon. (((hugs)))
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thinking good thoughts and hoping it is just anxiety. Sometimes it slaps you in the face after having gone into hiding for a few years. Anxiety is manageable. Therapy for anxiety can be EXTREMELY effective if you feel he may need it.
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. I am hoping it is just senior anxiety, and things settle soon.
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm so proud of your difficult child for realizing it's time to reach out! Sending good thoughts and prayers.
  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for him for reaching out.........keeping you both in my prayers.........hugs for you Mom!
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks all. It's very comforting to come on here early in the am and find supportive words!

  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I agree. It is just awesome that he is reaching out and asking for help... hope he feels better soon - I think all of us felt that anxiety over their future at one time or another. It can be very nerve wracking...
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    How comforting it must be for you to know that he can and will reach out for help AND share with his Mom when troubles arise. I feel so sorry for the difficult children who don't trust anyone and therefore can't seek outside comfort. You must be relieved and proud....justifiably so! Caring thoughts on the way to difficult child. Hugs DDD
  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Like the others, I think it's wonderful that your difficult child is comfortable, trusts you enough to open up, ask for help. I agree that senior year can be a very difficult year, it's a time filled with excitement about the future, but filled with change and uncertainty too - It's a difficult combination even for "TTs," I can only imagine how much more difficult it must be for our difficult children...

    Although I wasn't here when your difficult child was 7, I've been around long enough to know that your difficult child is very fortunate you are his mother. While your difficult child worked extremely hard to get where he is today, I doubt he would have been able to do it without all the help, the unconditional love, support, and guidance you give him. Although I don't have a crystal ball, I believe that the combination of your difficult child's strength and determination to overcome challenges, and having you in his corner supporting him all the way, will help him overcome whatever obstacles he's now facing.

    Keeping your difficult child in my thoughts and prayers... Hugs... SFR
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: for difficult child and for you, dear. Senior year can be extremely stressful, and if you are a difficult child... Whew. I'm glad he can vocalize it, now, and I'm glad he has such an understanding Mom.
  12. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry he is having tough time. But it is really great he can recognize and vocalize it and is willing to seek help. Sometimes those things are much more important than actual issue.

    hugs to you both
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    He's 18 now. It's another major transition point in life. Transitions are often when weaknesses show up. It's really good that he is able to recognize what is happening and reach out for help, because it sets a trend for next time, too.
  14. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Keeping your difficult child in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs Rabbit
  15. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    GIG is such a sweet boy......almost a man I guess. Sending him and you super positive vibes that this gets cleared up quickly. So proud he spoke up!
    I know you have a PTSD moment right will be ok. I know it. I can feel it. Hugs!!!!!
  16. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow. It's been so long since I've had to post a need or issue with difficult child and it's so heart-warming to feel the support through your words! Not that I had forgotten how wonderful you all are, it's just been a long time since I've been on the support receiving end.

    Thanks with a few blushes thrown in
  17. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    I remember your struggles with him. I first came here the Friday after Thanksgiving 1999 when my difficult child was in kindergarten. My son is in college now but still making the same poor choices, although less frequently. It's great that your son can ask to see the doctor. I wish my easy child, who is also a senior, would.
  18. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Update on doctor appointment. difficult child and I went to the psychiatrist on Thursday. At the last minute, he wanted me to come in with him but I told him I felt very strongly that he should go in first and talk to Dr. M. doctor came out and got me about 20 minutes later (even though this appointment was only supposed to be 15 min maintenance). Basically his recommendation is that difficult child be given a 50 mg dose of trazodone at bedtime and go back on his vyvanse.

    He and difficult child discussed that he (difficult child) is a deep thinker and has a tendency to have increased anxiety. He's not sleeping well at night because he wakes several times during the night and then lays there thinking -- he then is tired at school and usually wants to take a nap in the late afternoon. When he does, it's hard for him to go back to sleep at night.

    He suggested that the trazodone, at that mg, should not only help difficult child sleep, but help him stay asleep. He said when he was doing residential it was one of the medications preferred for sleep (off lable). He wants difficult child to go back on the vyvanse not because he's not doing well in school, but because he told the doctor his focus was off. He told difficult child that he wanted him to have a good, productive day and then a good night's sleep. He felt that would be the first step (and hopefully the only step). He doesn't want to treat depression per say because he feels the lack of focus, anxiety, and sleeplessness and then tiredness should be tackled first.

    He wants to see difficult child in three weeks.

    He suggested difficult child not take the trazodone that evening, but wait until friday night so we could see how he feels upon waking sat and sun to prep for monday school.

    He also suggested that difficult child, since he has responded so positively in the past, might want to "talk to someone". difficult child and I discussed a new therapist since our beloved therapist of 13 years is a woman and he feels more of a desire to speak with a male now. I asked the psychiatrist if he had a recommendation and he actually suggested a young therapist in his office. Since we don't have insurance until January, we'll wait till then.

    difficult child felt very positive about the outcome and you could see a relief within and without not having heard, "you are really depressed like before".

  19. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Your difficult child has a wonderful psychiatrist and I'm glad to hear how well the appointment went. Keeping your difficult child in my thoughts, sending tons of positive vibes that the medications help him over this rough patch and he begins to feel better soon. Also staying pretzeled that your difficult child not only continues to feel better in the new year, but also that the new therapist is a perfect fit for him.

    Thanks for sharing this very positive update. SFR
  20. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad you have a caring psychiatrist. Our much loved psychiatrist retired last year and it's like a death in the family knowing that we can no longer pick up the phone when in need. The medication combo for your difficult child is exactly what youngest difficult child used and it made a HUGE difference in his life. Fingers crossed that all goes well for your son. Hugs DDD